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29 July 2011

It's the Friday Night Question, chosen (again, this week) at random from The Book of Questions...→[More:]

#71: Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?*

*This question also has optional follow-up questions in the back of the book:

What would you do if you realized that unless you changed jobs and took a 25% pay cut, you would have moderate insomnia and a nightmare every month or so? Is there anything worse than the worst nightmare?

post by: BoringPostcards at: 18:16 | 41 comments

I don't really care either way about a job (work is such a hypothetical by this point) so I'd probably keep the money. Moderate insomnia is the status quo. Nightmares aren't a big deal to me, they're just dreams.

Even relatively normal real life sucks worse than the worst nightmare.

posted by Hugh Janus 29 July | 18:36

I basically have horrible nightmares almost every night anyway so sure.
When I describe my dreams to other people they often stop me midway because even in the daytime it is too scary/gory for them to hear about.
I hate horror movies, and maybe it's because I get enough of that in my own head.
One med I was on had a nice side effect of giving me the most boring dreams in the world. It was hilarious and such a break. I dreamt about googling recipes. I dreamt about needing to sweep my floor. It was great.

posted by rmless2 29 July | 18:51

you have to work hard for extraordinary wealth anyway. if all that means is that your mind is a horrorscape every night at least that's more interesting than the f'ery and drudgery of waking grinding

posted by Firas 29 July | 18:56

I relish and cherish my restful nights of dreamless sleep (I remember maybe one or two dreams a year, and they're usually weird, not scary, and then I usually forget them altogether once I'm fully awake), so no, I wouldn't trade that for wealth, and I'd take the pay cut and job change too if I had to.

posted by Senyar 29 July | 19:06

I suppose I could handle a year, knowing it would end. I already have the insomnia. I'd rather eat the bowl of crickets. That was a different question, though.

posted by wens 29 July | 19:17

To start with the follow up questions... Moderate insomnia and a nightmare every month or so? Welcome to my life. You keep the pay cut, I'll keep my nightmares.

I actually really like them because they make sleeping exciting. And, if I talk in my sleep, they make sleeping exciting for the boyfriend too. I love when we have conversations in the morning, filling in the gaps with each other's version of the event.

Is there anything worst than your worst nightmare? Sure - being slowly eaten alive, having your whole family die, etc. But those things are only worse than nightmares if/when they happen in the RL. I can deal with messed up dreams.

So would I take a year's worth of horrible nightmares in exchange for extraordinary wealth? In a heartbeat. Maybe I could write a book about it or paint them or something.

posted by youngergirl44 29 July | 19:27

I have pretty horrible nightmares almost every other night. When I miss a few doses of Paxil (usually because i forgot to call my doctor for a refill and it's the weekend) I have incredibly realistic horrible nightmares. By now, I'm used to it. So yeah, where's my wealth? As for the second question, I'm presently unemployed and that describes most of my nights as well. I guess I'm an outlier.

OTOH, I'm pretty good at lucid dreaming and it's rare that I don't realize that it's a dream and control things.

posted by Splunge 29 July | 19:34

Yes I would. A year of nightmares would go so fast anyway, but incredible wealth could do so many people so much good for a lifetime.

posted by redvixen 29 July | 19:46

Sign me up. Oddly enough I tend to like my nightmares. They're usually realistic and cinematic with aliens and/or dragons and/or apocalyptic.

As for changing jobs - nope. Nightmares are interesting and I already have insomnia.

posted by deborah 29 July | 20:17

Not a question. I value my sleep much more than I do wealth. I have just about enough money (provided that I keep working) but I can never have enough good sleep.

posted by octothorpe 29 July | 20:33

I thought about this for maybe a minute before deciding that no, I wouldn't suffer the nightmares. I'd do whatever it took to get rid of them.

Is there anything worst than your worst nightmare? Sure - being slowly eaten alive, having your whole family die

And this is the thing that makes me say no: the fear that "nightmares" means not any old nightmare but my worst nightmares. My worst nightmares are amplifications of real experiences of loss and sorrow, of watching people I loved suffer and die, or --- what is even worse --- of them returning from the grave, bearing the horrific Boschian marks of their illnesses, to ask, sobbing, why I didn't save them.

When I was having them regularly, those nightmares shattered my waking life, too. I would sacrifice a great deal not to suffer them again.

posted by Elsa 29 July | 20:37

Nightly nightmares to assure financial success? Sounds like a job I once had...

posted by oneswellfoop 29 July | 21:03

Elsa, I totally understand where you are coming from. It's a really good question then, isn't it? But ultimately even your worst dream is just a dream. And, regardless of what some people might think, wealth is a physical reality that can do good in the real world. Maybe that wealth, in the long run, is worth the suffering? Maybe if the suffering is so bad, some of the wealth could be put to counseling (not saying that you need it, just a hypothetical) that would rid you of any long lasting trauma. As it seems, you have gotten over your actual nightmares?

I sometimes have dreams of being in Hell. Not just any one. The Hell of Dante. I won't go into details here, but let's just say they involved... fecal matter.

Sorry if that disturbed you. But I got over it. Maybe I'm not being sensitive enough, and if so I'm really sorry.

posted by Splunge 29 July | 21:17

Splunge, obviously different people are going to have different answers --- that's the whole point of the Friday night Question, right? You get to pick yours, I get to pick mine, and we all get to think "Hmm, it's interesting inside other people's heads!"

I'm absolutely not questioning the validity of anyone else's answer: mine is the right one for me, yours is the right one for you.

I won't go into details here, but let's just say they involved... fecal matter.

I get this. I actually deleted my original description of my nightmares and wrote something much, much gentler. Just because I have these indelible memories of loved ones' visceral torment doesn't mean I need to inflict the graphic descriptions of them on other people.

posted by Elsa 29 July | 21:27

I would do it! Nightmares are my most creative dreams!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 29 July | 21:45

Cool, Elsa. Understood.

posted by Splunge 29 July | 21:53

Cool!

I envy you the frequent lucid dreaming. In a recent stress dream, I suddenly became aware of how odd the situation was, decided it must be a dream, and hurled myself bodily to the ground --- and it jolted me awake. That was a great way to exit a bad dream.

posted by Elsa 29 July | 21:56

I kept 2 teenagers sheltered, fed, clothed and entertained for 2 years on Social Security disability. I will pass on this offer and wait for next Friday's. ;-)

posted by Ardiril 29 July | 22:06

I rarely sleep, so bring on the nightmares and wealth.

posted by apoch 29 July | 22:15

Some of my favorite dreams are when I seem to be in a shop that has a lot of very valuable sculpture, glass work, cabinets with expensive china. Shelves of incredibly valuable and breakable things. And I go off. Sweeping things off of shelves. Picking up intricate blown glass figures and hurling them at glass shelves. I essentially destroy the shop in front of the owners, and laugh while I revel in the destruction.

I need a dream shrink.

posted by Splunge 29 July | 22:22

I'd take the nightmares for a year in exchange for fabulous wealth. A year is not that long of a time. My nightmares tend to give me a sort of nightmare-hangover, so it would probably be a hellish sort of year, but extraordinary wealth means not having to worry about lots of things for the rest of your life.

I'd also take the moderate insomnia + monthly bad dreams. Sounds pretty much normal to me.

As for whether anything is worse than the worst nightmare? I'm not sure I understand. If the nightmares were real, that would be worse. There are all kinds of real horrors and sadness that are worse than the worst nightmare.

posted by fancyoats 29 July | 22:28

Yes, no big deal, yes.

As nightmares and insomnia are par for me, I'd rather do this than the bowl of crickets, actually.

posted by rainbaby 29 July | 22:39

I hate nightmares and missing sleep. I love a good nights sleep and pleasant or no dreams.

And I have to admit that I don't find extraordinary wealth all that appealing. Nor would I want the burden of figuring out how to do good for others with it.

posted by bearwife 29 July | 22:46

No!

posted by Miko 29 July | 22:56

In a recent stress dream, I suddenly became aware of how odd the situation was, decided it must be a dream, and hurled myself bodily to the ground --- and it jolted me awake. That was a great way to exit a bad dream.

That's awesome! I hope to try it sometime!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 29 July | 23:05

And I have to admit that I don't find extraordinary wealth all that appealing. Nor would I want the burden of figuring out how to do good for others with it.

Eh, you could just pay someone to figure it out for you.

posted by fancyoats 29 July | 23:08

You bet. At least nightmares are interesting, in fact I usually like them.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 29 July | 23:08

Yes, absolutely. A small price to pay for a lifetime of being able to make choices that are denied to me because of lack of funding.

posted by dg 29 July | 23:12

you could just pay someone to figure it out for you.

Totally, that's a whole industry. They can make you feel awesome about yourself too.

posted by Miko 29 July | 23:16

As much as I recognize the benefits of wealth, I value day-to-day peace far too much to trade it in, because it's really clear to me the joys that wealth can bring are really pretty limited. I know a lot of rich people, but very few content and happy ones. The more wealth you have, the more, in fact, I think you are plagued by ineffable mental/emotional/spiritual issues, because you have loads more time to focus on them. For me, the aim in life is stability, freedom, contentment. Those aren't always - in fact, they aren't often - connected to great wealth. I do feel like reaching my goals is within my present earning power without doing magic bargains, so I generally don't get interested in tradeoff questions like this. A, nobody is really offering this, and b, it probably looks a lot better than it would feel if you actually took the tradeoff.

posted by Miko 29 July | 23:19

What are nightmares?

posted by Eideteker 29 July | 23:41

It was almost like revisiting a recurring dream.

But a bad one.

posted by Splunge 29 July | 23:44

When I was having them regularly, those nightmares shattered my waking life, too.

This is why I would refuse the year of nightmares. Mine are usually filled with absurd amounts of emotion - betrayal, loss, pain - that doesn't go away once I've woken. I've stayed mad at my partner all day because of what he did in a dream the previous night.

Nightmares are why I stopped taking melatonin before bed.

posted by rhapsodie 30 July | 00:06

When I was having them regularly, those nightmares shattered my waking life, too.

Yes, and they rob you of sleep, which as I get older gets increasingly valuable for daytime productivity and calmness.

posted by Miko 30 July | 00:10

There is a kind of directed dream therapy for recurrent nightmares where, while you're awake, you think of the scary parts of the dream and change them into something not scary, like a monster into a cuddly teddy bear or a knife into a lollipop. Apparently, the transformed images follow you into your dreams and stop the nightmares. Works with kids, too.

My first reaction to this question was no way (I can get some gnarly nightmares), but hearing others' responses has changed my mind. When I lived near King's Island in Ohio years ago, I rode the roller coasters so much that even the tallest multiple-loop coasters became ho-hum to me. Maybe it would be like that after awhile. And it would be nice to have the freedom of all that money.

posted by Pips 30 July | 00:39

you could just pay someone to figure it out for you.

Totally, that's a whole industry. They can make you feel awesome about yourself too.

And that's another unappealing thing about wealth, from all I've seen of rich people. The phony sucking up, the uncertainty about whether anyone really cares for you or just your money. And the way everything caters to the childish spoiled brat one is presumed to be.

I suspect not being rich, but really appreciating what you have, is a much better way to be free and happy.

posted by bearwife 30 July | 01:08

No.

posted by Thorzdad 30 July | 08:06

I don't usually like the tone of the stuff in Atlantic Monthly, but recently they published a very interesting piece called Secret Fears of the Super-Rich. It talks a lot about the world of philanthropy - there comes a point where for many people it's about the only thing they can do that makes them feel wanted and useful - and gives some insight into the kinds of things that plague people who are born with, or who end up amassing, huge wealth.

posted by Miko 30 July | 09:23

It would be miserable but I would do it for what I could do with the wealth. I don't really have any fears of what the money would do to me, I just think of all the stuff I could fund.

posted by ethylene 30 July | 09:43

Fascinating article, Miko, thanks!

posted by TheophileEscargot 30 July | 11:08

#71: A. Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?*

and

B. What would you do if you realized that unless you changed jobs and took a 25% pay cut, you would have moderate insomnia and a nightmare every month or so? Is there anything worse than the worst nightmare?

I have job-related insomnia and obsessive thoughts, trying to figure out 1) how this got so fucked up and 2) what I can do about it or 3) is it time to quit and sue them.

The second part of the question is very real to me. I've left a job before due to having an arrogant, unreasonable boss, and here I am again. I've decided that there's some personal value in standing my ground, doing my best and fighting back against abusive, sexist bullshit. At some point, I may have to quit and take that 25% pay cut. But at 55+, I don't think I should be forced to do that.

If I knew there would be a cash payoff at the end of this, that would be nifty. The other payoff is the self-worth in not allowing myself to be treated badly. Nightmares would be preferable to my toxic workplace.

posted by theora55 30 July | 11:19

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