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24 July 2011

The kids left for Seattle today. [More:] Just over two years ago, circumstances found my son and I living at the same address for what would be our longest period together ever. He turned 18 a couple months ago, and both he and his girlfriend found job opportunities in Washington. This is the best possible move they could make. I will be excited again tomorrow, but today I am feeling a bit of melancholy.
My sister is feeling the same way -- her daughter, her youngest child, has been living with them while her Navy husband was overseas (they got married just before he left), and now he's back and they've got their own place of course, and I think my sister and her husband are a little sad, even though my niece is so happy.
posted by JanetLand 24 July | 18:28
I'm paying close attention to these "leaving the nest" posts because I have kids who are now just teenagers (14-y-o boy and 13-yo girl). I go back through the archives and try to gather the information that will make it all go well for all parties. My mom and dad never changed a diaper or took them for a weekend, but my husband's parents (stepdad's mom and stepdad, how's that for convoluted) are taking the teens for a split week (they each get a time at the family farm and a time with me and the husband in town) in order to get to know them better. I'm feeling blessed.

Love to you, Ardiril, for being a good dad, regardless of age or whatever. I also wink at you for your mischievous (mischief-vous) ways in the past. And, I hope your health is holding up well.

Good for you for being there when he needed you.

posted by lilywing13 25 July | 02:14
The worst part of grief is how it steals away all shreds of rationality. I can deal with the heartache that is indistinguishable from chest pain and the crushing sadness, but that fear that life has stopped and won't continue really irks me. I can even sit back and say to myself that, of course, that's not true, but the terror won't dislodge. I am glad I got that behind me.
posted by Ardiril 25 July | 09:54
Are you excited for them yet? Oh, to be young in the Northwest. They know nothing! The things they will learn.
posted by ethylene 25 July | 10:01
The Empty Nest sucks. I did not expect to experience this, in that I pretty much have a lot going on, but it just sucks.
posted by danf 25 July | 10:32
Oh, to be young in the Northwest.

I really cannot think of a better place for them to be, short of Portland, and the latter is on my list of potential destinations. How different my life would have been had I landed in Seattle by chance rather than on the path I took by design.

danf: I really didn't see yesterday's shitstorm coming. It just got darker and darker after I posted this originally.
posted by Ardiril 25 July | 10:58
I am sorry to hear that Ardiril! Black moods can fall upon us so unexpectedly. I don't have anything I can say to make you cheer up except this: you'll feel better soon enough.
posted by msali 25 July | 11:35
I just dropped the kids off at the pool.


We're talking about different things, aren't we?
posted by Eideteker 25 July | 13:01
Not if it's the first day of kindergarten.
posted by Ardiril 25 July | 14:20
*hugs*.... physical distance isn't what stops people from caring about their loved ones.
posted by brujita 25 July | 17:09
Thanks, brujita.
posted by Ardiril 25 July | 17:10
Today went much better. The stress of having two jobless young adults around has dissipated rapidly. I stuck to a healthy diet all day without a thought, and I actually achieved a great deal now that I have some space in which to operate.
posted by Ardiril 25 July | 19:29
Ummmm . . . don't get too attached to your spare room. ;-) They return. It is rough at first and you miss them and then it gets better and you don't so much and then? They come back.

My daughter left for college ten years ago, came home after college, stayed a rocky year or so, left again and then, about two years ago, had a bad breakup and has been living with me ever since. It's mostly very great and she's (oh god oh god I hope, best thing ever for her and, ahem, for me too) leaving again in a year for grad school. My son is a whole other lengthy story but he too has left and returned, left and returned. So.

It would appear to be a trend and it's one I understand, given that many if not most starting level jobs are paying less than they were in the 90s while the cost of living has skyrocketed. We used to joke about having some kind of crazed family compound (an old boyfriend of mine said once that my family was a terrifying combination of the Kennedys and the Addams Family and he had a point) and these days, it seems to be coming true.
posted by mygothlaundry 25 July | 23:30
In a very short time, my spare room may be the passenger seat of a cargo van. That seems the only way I can both travel the way I want on my limited budget and still keep my cat.
posted by Ardiril 26 July | 00:26
Carpe Diem Ardiril! The internet will be there and videophone! You're gonna be a rockstar dude and be able to jump around in your undies again! Focus on the positive, you're just leaving the nest yourself buddy!
posted by eatdonuts 26 July | 09:50
Buffalo Wings + IPA || Identity Paranoia: