I was reminded of this when we were talking earlier: YouTube

My dad died at 45. I was 18 at the time and to me 45 may as well have been 95. I had no idea how young that is to die.

Best wishes to you, Eide. . .

If I wanted to portray the other side, I could link to this, which is basically an update on Cat's in the Cradle, at least thematically). [non-official link in case that's region-blocked]

I'm glad I got to reconcile with my dad before it was too late, but I always wonder at the time we lost.

Thanks guys.

I had just turned 24, Dan. As the oldest son, managing the estate fell to me.

Folks, if you have cancer, and you have young children, please make a will. Or even if you don't. Everyone's going to go at some point. Denial only makes things worse for the folks you leave behind. It made me stronger, but I almost wish it hadn't.

Twice, he said to me, "You're the man of the family now." Once, literally, during the divorce. The second time was by handing me the remains of his life (as well as his literal remains) when I was still too young to rent a car. My grandmother was angry at him for both of those times.

Sorry for your loss, Eideteker.

No, it doesn't get easier, just different.

Share as much as you need because there are good folks here who care about you.
Hugs

My thoughts are with you.

I can relate. I too was made "the man of the family" after my dad died of cancer in'92 . I'm sorry for you loss

All the folks who've lost a parent (or are in the process of losing, ouch) are in my heart today. It's not a one-way street; it's as much about you as it is about me.

I hear you.

Hang in.

Thinking of you, Eid. My father died when I was 21. Frankly, it was a relief I'd never need to deal with him again. If he was a live today, I doubt I'd have any dealings with him.

But my heart goes out to those who've loved and lost (or, as Eid says, are losing) a parent. I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't, but although I can't empathise, I do understand that most people have a close bond with their parents.

My dad died just as my wife and I were starting our own family, so I never had him around to seek guidance or help from.

My dad was great caring lovable pain in the neck. He's been gone about 7 years.

I adored everything about my dad. I miss him all the time. He was 76 when he and his terrible jokes and funny faces and off key singing and appreciation for collies and chocolate and sweet voicemails and kind wisdom left us in 2008.

My heart goes out to you, Eideteker, and to others who have lost loved ones or are facing a loss to come.

This weekend was the two-year anniversary of the death of my sister's husband and niece's dad, and we all miss him so much. I was a kid when he joined the family, and he was a full generation older; he was more like an uncle to me than a brother-in-law.

My father died about six years ago, on the day that my parents were going to meet The Fella for the first time. I miss him every day, but for me it has become easier. Different, yes, but also easier most of the time.

But I've been missing him terribly this month: my siblings and their kids have been in town for a visit. I love my family but I also find them stressful, especially since Dad died. Every so often, I get struck by the sense of his absence --- really "struck," as if someone's slapped me hard.

Big hugs, buddy, and a lot of love. I'm proud to have you as a friend, and I'm damn sure he was proud to have you as a son. Sounds like he was a good man despite tough times, and the apple didn't fall far. A big heart and a big smile are a rich inheritance, and you spend it well. You're a good man, Eideteker.

Hope you feel better in time, man.

Elsa's also right. It does get easier, and it doesn't. Sometimes it creeps, but it reminds you to hang on to the memories rather than letting them fade, and to cherish the ones you've still got.

You were 24? That is tough. I lost my father a couple years ago and I'm 30mumble, and that's a different thing. Not as difficult.

Sometimes I'm okay about it, sometimes it creeps up on me like you say. It's been on my mind lately.

We were estranged and never really reconciled. We worked out a sort of painful amiable silence over the years, but there was a lot of scorched earth. Nothing new was going to grow. In MeFi cliche terms, my dad would be a Grand Poobah of Guess Culture, and I wasn't willing to meet him 99% of the way.

I did get to see him before he died, in the hospital. He was too sick to talk, and they were waiting for me to arrive to pull the plug. Whatever I said to him would be pretty much it. It's a strange thing to try to think of the last words you will say to your dad, when you absolutely know that's what it's going to be.

My aunt's lady friend sent me the best possible condolence card. On the outside was a tree, and on the inside she'd written that I had all the best qualities of my father. I feel like this is something every son should be told at some point.

Thanks for sharing that, flea.

All of you who've lost parents are in my heart and I'm sending you the biggest hugs I can muster. There's nothing I'm more afraid of than losing mine, and I have no idea how I'll cope when it happens.

Eide, whenever I hear prog rock with a "psychotic drum line" I always note that it's your father's kind of music.

I'm sorry I missed this earlier. I probably didn't have internets. Hugs to you. As huggy as can be without squozing you too hard.