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28 June 2011

It's Time For Ask LT Anything! [More:]

Yes, kidlets, it's time again to "ASK LT ANYTHING!", the thread where you can ask LT anything you want and get an answer. So hie thee hence!

Consider it the 21st Century version of the Oracle of Delphi, under tender and very serious pharmacological influence.

Release the hounds!
I had a head-cold relapse and didn't do a clothing thing today, what theme/archetype should I do tomorrow to make up for it?

Also what makes the potty escape the body?
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 19:19
(also the Oracle At Delphi was inhaling seriously intoxicating fumes from the vents under the earth, so ...same thing)
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 19:20
Hi The Whelk!

Providing you're feeling better, I believe you should follow your recent Pinking-for-Pride with a complementary blue binge. Something light blue, or robin's egg tones, with orange accents. Even a denim shirt with a pink cardigan would do it, really.

What makes the potty escape the body, you ask? Elves. Believe it not, our bodies are filled with tiny, nanoscopic elves who are responsible for all manner of bodily functions. SCIENCE!
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 19:23
You would pick the one shade that is not represented well in my wardrobe. DAMN YOUR EYES.

The elves mostly squishy, with poorly defined cell walls.
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 19:31
LT!!!!!!!!! You have been missed, very much.

OK LT please accept my 2-part question:

How is he going to do over the next year or so?
How is he going to fare long-term? Will he be OK?

I want to know what you really think, not what you think I want to hear.

Thank you LT. Please stick around.

posted by Kangaroo 28 June | 19:48
LT; I have been reading huge swaths of achewood over the weekend and it is effecting the way I talk, is this a totally fine outcome y/n?
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 19:52
Should I call in sick and do laundry tomorrow?
posted by JoanArkham 28 June | 20:02
OH Wise LT, what is the difference between an orange?
posted by apoch 28 June | 20:19
When's the wedding?
posted by Eideteker 28 June | 20:30
Hi Kangaroo:

All of life is made from the ability to take the future and turn it back into the present, into smaller and smaller chunks until the mere fact you put your pants on created it ten years on.

He will be fine over the next year or so, provided he realizes the next year is made of discreet months, which are then made of groups of weeks, which in their turn are a series of days. These days are comprised of hours, which are also large groups of moments strung together in lightning-quick repetition.

Or, put another way, there is no such thing as the long-term. How would you know it when it arrived? Just trust that in this moment, he is doing the best he can with what he has.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:44
Hi again The Whelk!

Yes, yes it is. A question, though? What is it in Achewood that's prompting this binge? Ask yourself this as you read it, then ask yourself if there's something not in Achewood itself that's making you ache for Achewood.

You'll be fine either way.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:46
How is it that everyone else is crazy, but I'm normal?
posted by Melismata 28 June | 20:46
Hi JoanArkham!

Yes, yes you should. BUT...don't just do the laundry. Go outside. Find some color. Go to the grocery store and buy a new vegetable, one of those weirdy ones that come from India or Korea that look like something that would grow on a nuclear test site in Arizona. Go home and figure out a recipe in which to use it.

Unless, of course, that "doing the laundry" is your intimate euphemism for spending time with your lover, of course. If this is so, forget the trip to the store.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:48
I read Achewood cause I want to believe I am Ray but I secretly suspect I am Roast Beef.

I'm pretty sure everyone else thinks I'm Lyle.
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 20:49
Dear LT,

Why is everyone all crazy-ass and shit lately?

posted by occhiblu 28 June | 20:51
Hi Apoch!

The difference between an orange is complicated. Think about it - orange is the Eccentric Cute Girl of the color spectrum, not as ditzy as yellow, and not as much of a homewrecker as red.

The thing about orange is, and it's main difference? The shades it has, its hues. Orange is the most persuasive color on the wheel. It's the color that says, "it's perfectly okay to do X and you're not going to be judged for it. It's the color of Starting Over, of Redemption and of Hope.

That's the difference, the essential one anyway.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:53
Hi Eideteker!

The wedding is an ongoing process that will one day come with an invitation and a party. Check your mail any time after September I'm thinking.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:54
Hi Melismata!

If you honestly think you're normal, you're batshit insane. I challenge you to present me a list of your normalcy. Which I will then cross-index against every other list of normal I've ever received to insure that you are in fact, normal.

But cheer up - batshit insane is hella sexy, sought-after in Hollywood and in the halls of the Presidency and looks way better on the catwalk.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 20:57
That's OK, Whelk: I'm Téodor.
posted by gaspode 28 June | 21:01
(that means you can cook! Or read cookbooks for 4 hours straight)
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 21:09
Hi Occhiblu!

Everyone is so crazy-ass and shit lately because many people would rather cling to something that isn't working for them because they know it and can control its borders then accept one simple awkward moment of re-assessment and change.

Pride's a bitch. I don't get it either.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 21:29
Dear LT,
How long is seven years?
posted by youngergirl44 28 June | 22:01
Hi youngergirl44:

Seven years is one year to a dog. That is one method of measurement. It's also the first unit of Bad Luck measurement, usually from breaking a mirror.

If broken down into days, seven years is 2555 days.

But seven years can also be an Eternity, an Instant, or even Forever to some. Your mileage may vary.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 June | 22:17
Hi LT, if I don't get a wedding invitation, I am gonna go butt-ass crazy, did you know that?

Furthermore, there is absolutely no way I could attend such theoretical wedding, owing to geographical distances, did you know that?

Just a thought, fried bologna sandwiches are as good as/better than sex? I'm leaning towards "better than", but only because I sent out my wedding invitations hundreds of years ago, right?
posted by msali 28 June | 22:36
Will I be invited to the wedding?
posted by brujita 28 June | 23:08
LT, while I enjoyed your answer and found it interesting, but the correct answer is: A bicycle, because a vest has no sleeves.
posted by apoch 28 June | 23:12
LT, what is the saddest thing?
posted by The Whelk 28 June | 23:13
LT, I have seen your username for two and a half years on Metafilter and I only noticed the pun like a week ago. What is my deal?
posted by danb 28 June | 23:35
LT, is it too late?

If not, may I ask a musical question?

If so, "Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadows?"

Also, Whelker, if you can't do blue, go green. Extra appropriate if you haven't been feeling well.

And I'm not an Achewood character, more of a cross between Desmond Fish-man from Scary Go Round and Wombatman from Magellan. In other words, a total webcomics nerd.
posted by oneswellfoop 28 June | 23:56
I have like eight all green outfits. choices choices...
posted by The Whelk 29 June | 01:23
Hi msali!

It's okay to go butt-ass crazy. That's how I dance.

As to geography: I do now. There are many in your boat, I'm afraid. The world is large as it turns out.

And no, fried bologna sandwiches are definitely NOT better than sex. If you want a sandwich that approaches sex you should try an arugula and prosciutto sandwich on toasted wheat.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 06:36
Dear brujita:

I don't know if I'M EVEN going to be invited to the wedding.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 06:38
Hi The Whelk:

The saddest thing is not having humility. The inability to say one is wrong is by far the saddest thing anyone can ever experience.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 06:40
Hi danb:

Your deal is that everyone here calls me LT, which is different than calling me Lipstick Thespian, so it's entirely possible you didn't notice the play on words.

BONUS FUN FACT ABOUT MY HANDLE: Matildaben gave it to me on the way to my first-ever meetup for Metafilter, before I even knew what Meta-anything was online.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 06:42
Hi oneswellfoop:

It's never too late.

And yes, I have seen my mother standing in the shadows. I once saw her in a dream wearing white elbow-length silk gloves and telling me about growing up in the 1940's.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 06:43
Dear LT,
Sometimes I don't see you here for months at a time. My question is, what form do you take during those absent times? Do you remain visible? Are you sensitive to touch and odor? Do you age?
posted by Obscure Reference 29 June | 08:36
Hi Obscure Reference:

Actually, I'm deflated and put into warehouse storage until the paperwork on the social networking budget is approved for each year.

I don't like it anymore than you do.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 June | 08:52
Very cool Firefox browser thing || Our move