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18 June 2011

people, I have decided to try The Clubs. All I know about clubbing I learned from rap. Basically, if someone steps on your shoes, you break a bottle of champagne on their headóright? Anything else I should know?
Crotch groping will get you killed. Period.
posted by Ardiril 18 June | 16:31
what a way to go though. Dulce et decorum est pro crotch-groping mori!
posted by Firas 18 June | 16:37
Drugs. Lots of drugs.
posted by Splunge 18 June | 18:37
The more cocaine you bring, the more popular you will be.

NOTE: my clubbing experience dates from the 1980s, so I don't know how applicable this advice may be.
posted by BitterOldPunk 18 June | 19:30
That is actually my genuine final tactic, BitterOldPunk. If all these other attempts don't help me meet someone I'm just going to show up to some international holiday spot with a bunch of questionable-but-popular substances. Sometimes you gotta swing for the fences!
posted by Firas 18 June | 19:40
Crotch groping will get you killed.

You're just hanging out in the wrong clubs.
posted by BoringPostcards 18 June | 19:44
Before you walk into tha club you got tah fix ya weave.

Oh, you don't believe me? OK, then, Missy'll clue you in. (NSFW)
posted by flapjax at midnite 18 June | 20:00
"you want to misdemeanor me, you gotta spend more Gs"?

NEVAR. I was raised in the Molten Fires of Mount Mackhood, even our nursery rhymes were about not spending to impress in the club
posted by Firas 18 June | 20:14
Unbutton another button at the top of your shirt. No, another. Ok, now flail around in the general direction of someone you find attractive, but don't look at them too much while you do so. Spill a drop of your drink on them or accidentally bump into theirs and apologize and offer to buy them another. Make out.
posted by rmless2 19 June | 09:52
Run, baby seals! RUN!!!!
posted by ufez 19 June | 20:53
Getting Snuggly with the Kittehs || Burt Reynolds, Beer Cans And Burping