ARGH this drives me crazy! I know it's like, the done thing to send out recommendations for places to stay, and we did that as well, but come on! People are grown-ups. And there is this thing called the internet! What happened to taking care of yourself?

And what, exactly, are you supposed to do about the fact that places in your area are more expensive than they were expecting? Move?

That is just so tactless. (Them complaining, not you.)

And there is this thing called the internet! What happened to taking care of yourself?

I not only listed six hotel recommendations plus camping info websites on the wedding website, I also linked to the Travel Advisor reviews for *two* cities that are the closest to the wedding site. And I've set up a shuttle from near the place with the highest concentration of less expensive hotels. Seriously, *there is only so much I can do.*

Also, the person complaining lives in NYC. I mean, really. I don't need a lecture about the local expensive hotels from someone living in one of the most expensive cities in the country.

Yeah, if they can't afford it, they should just decline your invitation; what are they, angling for a subsidy?

No matter what, they should keep it to themselves.

I concur with what everybody else said! Booooooo!

My feeling about people who will complain to you about this, especially after all you've done to make it easier for them: they want to complain. If they didn't complain about this, they would complain about something else, so it's not even worth worrying about.

I live in Maine. We got married in high summer, because it's when our scattered family members could be here. Even though I scouted out some deals, in-season housing is expensive here. I feel your pain. (To be fair, none of my friends bitched to me about it, so I was perfectly happy.)

Sympathy! That's really rude.

I'm lucky because we live in a city that has lots of cheap hotels, so none of my wedding guests had cause to complain. I have been known to grumble about going to & paying for accommodation at weddings which were held at a fancy "destination" where neither bride nor groom lived, because they can be horribly expensive, but I'd never dream about complaining to the bride! I mean, what can you do about it?!

The best wedding I've been to recently was held in a fairly remote converted barn, which was a) beautiful and b) allowed camping on-site. That reduced accommodation costs to zero for us, and was lovely. But then we have camping gear already.

They're angling for an invitation to stay with someone who lives in the area.

I hear you.

Our wedding is taking place at a fancy B&B, and we reserved five of the ten rooms knowing that we would have personal discussions with those guests and make sure it was okay.

The one couple that can probably afford it most easily hasn't gotten back to us. Classic Minnesotan Guessers -- I love them dearly, but I wish they would just come out and say yes or no. I even offered to pay the difference and assured them that if they were considering giving us a gift, their presence would be more than enough, but I guess that's too much confrontation.

And then we found out that the Ironman is in town that weekend, so every other hotel within ten miles is booked solid. Luckily it's pretty small and the rest of the guests are local, so I think it'll be okay.

(Don't even get me started on the complaints about the registry at my first wedding.)

No mystery here. Some people simply live to complain. Especially if they're from NYC. ;-P

I can't believe how much this is bothering me.

The guest who complained this morning I consider a really close friend, and I would have asked him to be *in* the wedding, except that I made the decision that I didn't want to burden friends with all the extra expenses and stress that being part of a wedding party can entail, that I wanted them just to be guests. I realize that it's not fair to expect him to know this, as I didn't share it with him because I didn't want it to sound like a guilt trip, but for fuck's sake. I'm really hurt. And I know that Elsa is right, but still. Blargh.

You could just rent Hearst Castle and put them all up in that. I mean, those poor people. . .

Or better yet. . .they could camp out on oneswellfoop's floor!

Is this typical of him? I think you did everything possible from your end.

I think you did everything right, too, occhiblu. Your guest(s) are being awfully rude.

OMG how rude of them.

Or better yet. . .they could camp out on oneswellfoop's floor!

Have you SEEN my floor? I don't follow the five-second rule in my place, I follow the five-inch rule: anything falling within five inches of the floor should not be eaten.

But seriously, after I drag the contents of two storage units from L.A. to here TOMORROW (I am so not looking forward to this), I won't have an inch of floorspace to spare until I have thoroughly sorted everything and put it into storage near me. Of course, after that, the carpet might actually get cleaned, maybe. But I have no idea how long that will take or how long I have to do it... because... I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AN INVITATION.

But seriously, if this is anywhere NEAR SLOtown, I can't imagine anybody complaining about expensive hotels - this is the place that invented Motels, and there are a lot of inexpensive options - we have two Motel 6's a block apart from each other. I stayed at a place in Morro Bay that was $2 less than the 6 but nicer for over a week before finding this apartment (email me for details). But if you can't get dressed up for a fancy wedding in a room at Motel 6, you can NOT function with the rest of us peasants.

Heh. He was actually complaining about the Motel 6 being expensive.

He also later emailed me to ask if he could bring his brother along, even though I did not include a guest for him (since he rarely dates anyone and since he is close enough to my family that he lives with my brother and has taken vacations with us), because it would save him money, given that his brother lives within driving distance.

Seriously, I give up.

He's not usually this way, except when travel seems to be involved. He's gotten similarly weird about expecting to be able to stay with me -- with his brother, who's perfectly nice but whom I barely know -- on zero notice. He's an extrovert extraordinaire and I think he just has no concept about how that sort of thing can be a major imposition, especially when one is living with one's partner and not just with roommates or alone.

In other weird wedding news: My fiance's aunt somehow found a way to rsvp to the wedding online. We have not sent out actual invitations yet, just Save the Dates, and the online site that she used to respond is not where we're hosting our wedding website, so I have no idea how she found it or why they let her do that.

However! My dress came in today! A month-ish early! So that's good! I am going to focus on the good! Woo!

Seriously, though. I feel that the job one of any wedding guest, or any guest to anything, is to make life as easy as possible on the people hosting the event.