I love that the actual paid ad on this page is for some kind of flabby-belly reduction system.

Ephron quotes a 1968 ad for FDS posing the question of whether women need more than underarm deodorant. "Yes," the ad helpfully answers itself. "A woman, if she's completely honest about it, realizes her most serious problem isn't under her arms."

Right. It's in your marketing department.

I remember being 8 or 9 in the 1970s and wondering what the hell was the point of douche. It made no sense whatsover. (Among other things: don't guys like that smell?)

Oh well. I guess without it, we wouldn't have the term douchebag.

This fills me with GRAR!

Nora Ephron's original essay is in the collection Crazy Salad.

You have problems. You smell. Especially down THERE.

Well, of course I do. I'm afflicted with innately revolting ladyparts, from which all sin sprang.

That's how it works, right?

I despise this kind of advertising, which is a lot of it. You're ugly! You're fat! You're smelly! YOUR CHILDREN MAY DIE! Unless you buy our product!

I spent a long stretch of the 1990s hanging out with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, and let me tell you, advertising never really looks the same after you've spent some time watching TV while doing that. All you see is the hooks and the traps.

Ignore the surface, and every advertisement is pretty much the same set of triggers and lures, arranged in a different order.

I can remember, as a child, being mystified why they sold "feminine napkins". Why on earth do women need a different type of napkin than men and why are there no ads for masculine napkins?

And today there was this article in Yahoo News, so it looks like soon we're going to get to worry about our future wrinkly chest and boobs. Ugh.

But why aren't there products for the way men smell? Not that it isn't a delightful aroma, of course, but why do women buy the message and the products?