I never expect anyone to pay, and have no problem contributing my fair share, but I would say about 75% of the 80 million guys I've gone out with in the past two years have done it, for what that's worth.

I haven't dated in a decade but with my wife and previous girlfriends, we'd usually either split checks or alternate.

On the rare occasions that I'm not out with my husband, I find that most men still try to pay my check. When I was dating, which was quite awhile ago, that's how it was too. (I also don't allow it and never have but that's me.)

The person who does the asking out would usually shell out, then, if there is some sort of ongoing going out, it should be negotiated.

The last thing I went on that resembled a date (although I think the dude just wanted to be friends but the 'date' freaked me out so bad that I ran so hard in the other direction)--he paid. For drinks at the bar (while we waited for our table) and then for dinner. Which was really expensive.

But ordinarily, I'd be happy to split things. My bestie and I have an ongoing 'you pay, then I pay' thing which works for us so we don't have to play add the different things.

I know what you mean about WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WORLD I KNOW; in my late teens and early twenties, men I dated happily let me pick up a check or, less frequently, split it.

At some point in my late twenties, that blissfully familiar dating habit changed, and suddenly I was unintentionally surprising or even offending men by (quietly, discreetly) picking up the check when I asked them out. I don't know what happened, but it felt like I'd accidentally stepped into a time machine and bumped it into reverse.

It may well be generational. Data points: I'm female, dated males; I started dating in the late 1980s, stopped in 2005; dated in Texas, New England, and Chicago.

The person who does the asking out would usually shell out, then, if there is some sort of ongoing going out, it should be negotiated.

That was the guideline I followed, generally: the inviter expects to pick up the check, but the invitee should be prepared to chip in just in case. But it's worth pointing out that in many cases, that's still a burden placed disproportionately on men in a cultural climate where they are generally expected to ask women out in the first place.

Admittedly, I am only recently back into the dating pool, but I feel like the time machine thing HAS happened. When I was dating before I was married, splitting the check seemed to be the norm...

Tangentially, I begin to wonder if Mad Men is having a negative effect on gender roles in America. That might be related. It might not. I don't know. Let's call it a hypothesis.

Wow, what an idea --- I would have said that "Mad Men" points out problems with rigid gender roles, particularly illustrating how patriarchy is bad for everyone, not just women...

... but maybe most viewers aren't really watching that closely. It would be easy to get swept up in the ritualized and kitschy appeal of a clear-cut gender role and overlook the show's portrayal of it as limiting and emotionally draining.

As it happens, some friends are coming over tomorrow to watch old episodes of "Mad Men." I'll float this idea past them!

When it comes to dating, I don't want to split checks. Either you get it or I get it. But the first time or two, you better get it. We won't go anywhere crazy expensive, I promise.

When it comes to dating, for the first few dates I prefer the old fashioned method, honestly. I always offer to pay my share, but prefer it when the man picks up the tab (especially if he makes more than I do). But as the relationship progresses, I will pick up the tab on occasion, if allowed, or I'll pay the tip, or I'll be making home cooked meals for us.

And I don't go crazy ordering, either. I'm not going to treat a date like a once-in-a-lifetime chance for caviar, escargot, and kobe beef!!

On a first date in New York, the guy picks up the check. On the second date, he still picks up the check. Only after awhile is it possible for the other party to pick up the check and, even then, not too often.

Which two people in this thread are married to each other?

I've been in relationships for most of the past decade [and when I wasn't, definitely not dating] and I've always been a check splitter. However I have some male friends who sometimes insist on getting the check which is sort of nice and chivalrous but a little weird. My inside-my-head metric is that if I think they are super-moneybags types, which only a few of my friends are, then I'll let them pay, the rest of the time, I'm the super moneybags and either I'll pay or we split it. I've found that since I've been a bit more flush people are pleasantly surprised when I say "I've got this" but I tend to say it before we order so people who might be on a tight budget might actually splurge and get a beer or dessert or something.

I have never been in a dating situation where we haven't alternated picking up the checks.

redvixen and I are married. It's really confusing when the check comes, I'll tell you that.

When the mister and I were dating he picked up approximately three out of every four checks. We discussed our separate financial situations and he made a lot more money than I. Actually, during the first 3.5 months of our dating I was unemployed and living off of my cashed out 401k, but I still didn't want to be a total free-loader.

stynxno and I are married. He's picking up the check 'till the in Prospect Park come home. . .

For the first date, the guy better at least offer and depending on how much I like him I will let him pick it up or not. My system of deciding whether I will pay is a funny continuum that only I understand I think. Here it is:

You totally suck----------ok but no 2nd date-----------I like you, yes 2nd date
You pay----------------------I split it----------------------you pay

If there is a 2nd date, I will pay for all or at least part of the date and then I want to alternate for all subsequent dates. I think splitting down the middle is cheap and petty and I like the idea of sharing and it all washing out in the end.
So basically if the guy is terrible, he can pay, if he is ok but I'm not interested, I'll split so there isn't a "I'll get it next time" thing, and if I like him, I will go out again and I will pay the next time.

So basically if I let you pay you are either great or terrible.

Because my boyfriend also prepared my taxes this year, he knows precisely what I make and therefore, he pays a lot of the time. On our first date weekend, he paid for everything. Now that we've been dating for about almost four months, I try and pick up stuff when I can, I cook for him a lot, I also offer to help fold laundry, etc.

My rule of thumb: If you're a female going out on a date in NYC, bring enough money to cover your share of the meal and a cab home. Offer to pay, and if he declines (and you like him) he gets a second date. If he doesn't, and you like him, he still gets a second date. If he doesn't, and you don't like him, no second date.

Oh and yes, I think the woman should pick up the check every now and then in a dating relationships.

Fascinating accounts! NYC seems to have its own code.