((hugs)) Oh gosh, talking about and processing your feelings during a tough time is hardly selfish!!

Remind me what you are looking for in a pen pal? I used to be really into mail art, so I'd love to exchange letters and postcards and packages and stuff.

Just email. I need to keep it on the down low

Any support groups nearby you for families and caregivers? Maybe check at a nearby hospital?

He wouldn't be ok with that, Miko. Asked for pen pals because that's what's workable for me. I do appreciate the suggestion though

Oh, I'm so sorry.

My mother had breast cancer when I was in high school, and I remember vividly my best friend being angry with me for talking about my mom too much and not paying enough attention to her problems. "Just because my mom doesn't have cancer doesn't mean my problems aren't important!" Her problems mostly focused on whether to break up or get back together with her on-again, off-again boyfriend.

I guess people just feel uncomfortable with it, but still... People are just crappy sometimes.

It's definitely not selfish to need to tell SOMEone what you're feeling. It's really rough for you right now.

Have you looked for Internet caretaker support groups? These exist too, as well as the in-person ones. And you know, you're going through hell. Sometimes "he wouldn't be okay with that" has to be put aside. You need to take care of yourself, too, and he may just need to learn to accept that.

I'm not trying to dissuade you from posting here. Certainly, post here. We'll do what we can. But sometimes talking to people who *really know* what you're going through helps a lot.

For what it's worth, I get really upset when Mr. G bottles it all in, not wanting to talk to me because he doesn't want to make me more upset. Sure, I can't do anything to change the main problems. Sure, telling me how stressed he is, is pretty much preaching to the choir. But I *can* listen, even if I can't cure me, and listening to him being upset about my problems is better than him going crazy because he can't find anyone else who really understands.

Maybe Mr. Grace might be able to listen. Have you asked?

I've found a lot of support from specific online groups, but if you need someone to email, I'm here. I'd like to pay forward all the support I've been given in my times of need.

I'm here, too, and ready to talk about any shit. laptoplad@gmail.com.