MetaChat - Time for another Friday Night Question,

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28 January 2011

Time for another Friday Night Question, as chosen at random from The Book of Questions...→[More:]

#192: When you are with your friends, do you interactions include much touching- for example, hugging, kissing, roughhousing, or rubbing backs? Would you like to have more of this?

post by: BoringPostcards at: 19:29 | 29 comments

Very little. Would like more.

posted by JanetLand 28 January | 19:43

Not a lot of touching, very happy with the not a lot of touching.

posted by iconomy 28 January | 19:46

Hmm, routinely hug hello and goodbye, never kiss friends, don't roughhouse with anyone but my dog (who sounds like a happy angry mosquito when we do it)), and often touch arms. Rub backs only when friend is crying e.g. about sickness or death.

I'm pretty happy with this arrangement.

posted by bearwife 28 January | 19:54

Not much touching, and I'm fine with that.

posted by apoch 28 January | 19:56

Nope and that's good with me.

posted by amro 28 January | 19:57

I am VERY touchy-feely with friends- very much a hugger by nature. I'm not at ALL touchy-feely with anyone I don't know extremely well. This has always worked for me.

posted by BoringPostcards 28 January | 20:02

I am about the same as bearwife. Definitely yes to hugs and kisses hello and goodbye.

posted by gaspode 28 January | 20:11

Same as bearwife. In my 20s, different story...there were a lot of dogpiles, surprise bearhugs from behind, six-people-to-a-couch kinds of things. At some point I could only identify in retrospect, everyone grew out of that.

posted by Miko 28 January | 20:20

I am a big hugger but keep in mind who is not a hugger so there is not too much non-consensual hugging going on. I'm not much of a roughhouser. And backrubs are one of those things that the SO always asks if I want as a way of being winky winky about going and laying down. I like a good backrub [giving or getting] but as it's own thing, not as much as foreplay [mostly because they make me super sleepy]. My and my folks were always pretty huggy/kissy and it used to flip out my grandparents a bit. I'm not sure where my folks got it from.

posted by jessamyn 28 January | 20:28

My immediate family is touchy-feely. After my mom died my dad remarried and at first she wasn't too touchy but we have now brought her over to the touchy side.

posted by govtdrone 28 January | 20:34

If it's someone I see routinely, no. If it's someone I haven't seen in a while, I'll hug hello and good-bye, but that's about it. I'm cool with that.

Also: I'm just saying, you haven't had the full MetaChat experience until you've had a BoPo hug.

posted by ufez 28 January | 20:45

Hugs are good and I'm happy to stick to that. No kissing anyone except the mister, except once. A friend of the mister kissed me hello one time and surprised the hell out of me and not in a good way.

posted by deborah 28 January | 20:53

I'm very huggy (especially when drinking) but that's it. It freaks me out when people I don't know at all try to touch me or when I'm not expecting it though.

posted by JoanArkham 28 January | 20:56

For whatever it says about me, I am huggy with friends, and there are a number of female friends that I am kissy with also. A double standard, in a way, but it feels OK.

posted by danf 28 January | 21:16

I greet everyone I know with a hug, except those people I know would be uncomfortable with a hug. I'll grab a friend's hand when they're sad - I really don't know why but nobody's asked me to stop.

I'm pretty happy with the level of touchiness in my friendships.

posted by ladygypsy 28 January | 21:30

Used to be pretty touchy feely, but fragile now. I'd rather not be touched by anyone but my husband, who mostly has a good idea of how to keep from hurting me.

posted by galadriel 28 January | 21:31

Being around BP got me being more huggy with others, but it really depends on the occasion or general states of affairs.

posted by Ardiril 28 January | 21:58

Depends on the friend. I'm huggy with huggy friends, not so with prickly friends. I am the Zelig of friendship.

posted by BitterOldPunk 28 January | 21:58

Very very physically affectionate with my friends, very very not so with anyone else. I'm happy with it that way. I tend to wince when non-friends touch me.

posted by punchtothehead 28 January | 22:07

I'm so happy to hear I'm a hug ambassador, because the world needs more hugs. :)

posted by BoringPostcards 28 January | 22:18

Rarely something I initiate, but I'm okay with just about any amount of it, and I like physically warm people just a little bit more than other people, all else being equal.

posted by fleacircus 28 January | 22:40

Yup, hugs are good. Sex is even better.

posted by Melismata 28 January | 23:02

Very little. Would like more.

Damn, needed this intel 2 mos. ago. ;)

I am making an effort to be ok with touching people, and moreso with being touched. Cause there are people who are also not OK with being touched, so it's more important that I work on being OK with it when others touch me. Should people actually want to touch me.

posted by Eideteker 28 January | 23:30

Touchy feely and anyway all bets are off when there are small children involved, because they couldn't care less how you feel about it.

posted by gomichild 28 January | 23:41

I'm not at all touchy feely. I'm sort of okay with the occasional hug but mostly I just am really weird about touch, which is something I think is probably a bit of a problem in my life. Oh well, there you have it. I grew up in a completely hands off family and I've never quite figured out the touch thing from there. I tend to flinch when I'm casually touched and that seems to upset people even though I swear I don't do it consciously. My kids, though, are all about hugs and I'm really glad that I managed not to infect them with my own freakiness.

posted by mygothlaundry 29 January | 01:00

I'm like the worst, most awkward hugger ever. I can never really get the hang of it and I always find uncomfortable and embarrassing.

posted by octothorpe 29 January | 08:38

Hugs at the hello and goodbye, esp if I haven't seen them in a while.
Some of my friends are more touchy than others, I think I would like a little more but mostly I am happy and comfortable with the amount of contact.

posted by rmless2 29 January | 09:35

Depends on which friends. Hug and kiss some, awkward with others. Tolerate being kissed by others despite wishing they wouldn't.

posted by Obscure Reference 29 January | 09:39

I'm pretty huggy and have a couple of good friends who are cheek-kiss greeters, but I do try to remember who's not huggy or touchy. Sometimes I'll flat-out ask: "You and me --- hug or handshake?"

I have a harder time remembering that not all my friends are comfortable with casual contact like a hand on the arm or a gentle brushing on the back or squeezing in too close on the sofa.

I don't roughhouse with anyone but The Fella these days. My back injury is too sensitive for general roughhousing.

And backrubs are one of those things that the SO always asks if I want as a way of being winky winky about going and laying down.

Ha! My partner recently started being explicit about some touching being non-foreplay-related, e.g., "would you like to come lie down with me for a little bit?" or "would you like me just to rub your back?" It's pretty adorable. (Especially when it's "Wanna just make out for a few minutes before we go to sleep?")

posted by Elsa 29 January | 16:06

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