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I'm trying to think of what Thing could be holding me back in life, but I don't feel held back. So I think it's possible I might not have one big Thing. Maybe a lot of little Things.
It seems to me that it's totally subjective. Each friend could probably tell you a different Thing, based on their own idiosyncrasies. There are three mentioned by two different people in this short piece.
This isn't something I would really care to know; I'm a big fan of advice when I'm looking for it, but not when I can't use it. One of my greatest flaws/flipside/assets is being fairly impervious to the unsolicited opinions of others, so I don't think I'd go looking to hear what anyone thought my 'thing' was unless I became aware that I was experiencing a problem. We all think we have the people we know all figured out, when in reality we may have very little idea why people make the choices they do, and what about those choices has worked for them.
I think I know a couple of Things, but I'd really like to know about things I could actually have a chance of changing. Suffice it to say that if anyone says, "Just sit down and do stuff! Stop procrastinating!" I'm likely to kick them.
I have a friend whom I desperately want to tell about her Thing, but she's just not ready to change. Which, I suppose, is the biggest part of the Thing anyway. Le sigh.
We all think we have the people we know all figured out, when in reality we may have very little idea why people make the choices they do, and what about those choices has worked for them.
Blammo. That hits it dead center for me.
I would bet that some friends and mentors think they know what My Thing is, and if so, their observations are correct but limited. I recently identified My Thing, and it's one of those things that sounds little, feels huge, touches every area of my life, and is hard to see from inside (and probably a little confusing from outside).
But! I have identified it, and now when I hamper myself with it, I can often catch that and stop. And I can step outside myself, see it with a bit of distance, and dissect the reasons. It's valuable. And no one else could have done that for me, because it maps its way through a whole lot of apparently unrelated life history.
Well, if it what I do that irritates others, sure. And old enough that mostly I figure that's just too bad for them. If it is a mystery of my life and functioning, naah, still in the dark.
Interesting question. I think whether I'd want to be told would depend on my relationship with the teller. If I trusted them and felt they meant well, yeah, I think I'd want to know their opinion. But ultimately that's how I would regard it, an opinion. I may agree, see their point of view, or not. My choice.
My manager at work has spoken to me about a thing. That's scary, but I am more aware and try to not do that thing.
Also, being a very late baby with a big birth order distance, I have been able to identify patterns in my family of how, exactly, in what general trends people sort of go mad or not, and to what extent. So I have a Mom/Brother direction to watch, which isn't that awful and a Dad/Sister one that is sort of terrifying, and that's the one I see seeds of in me. Brother cries nonsense, but I dunno. Dad/Sister thing is in the world of spoken to at work thing. I also have a seemingly normal brother and sister, so all hope is not lost.
I'm not sure if other people's goals for me are the same as my goals for me. I would love to know what my Thing is, according to other people. I know what *I* think my Thing is. I think I have clear sight into other peoples Things. That is not what I think my Thing is. But it may be.
I know my thing and I hate it when my partner tells me my thing. Like yes I know my thing but goddamnit the answer to our fight isn't "Valette is a bad person because of her thing."
so some people say that my "thing" is spicail anxiety but other people say that it's not taking byself seriously enough. Those seem like contradictory "things" and I'm trying to work on both but I can't quite figure out how. I think I goof off to hide how nervous I can be. Maybe if I deal with the anxiety I can seem both serious and confident at the same time.
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photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
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