I don't have MOFB I would like to formally lodge my complaint about the path the last few weeks have taken.→[More:]
2010 wasn't a great year. For me personally, it wasn't unbearable, I had a few hurdles that thankfully were temporary, such as a hyperactive thyroid that kept me awake for about 8 months sleeping about 3 hours a day. At first my endocrinologist thought I had either a tumour/Grave's/Hashimoto's but luckily it turned it out I'd just received a massive dose of iodine from somewhere. Yay.
In the meantime barely went a week without hearing of friends family or clients coming down with much more serious conditions, especially fucking cancer. I knew few who came down with Pneeumonia or staph. I had runs at work, such as early September where I was being inundated by people fucking up their backs to the point they could not move. I'm used to seeing panic attacks in December, but last year, everyone was falling to pieces by October.
My favourite great aunt was hospitalised after a series of strokes (due to a medication fuck up - too much warfarin), and one of my great uncles died. Another of my great uncles has lung cancer, never having smoked in his life. I'm shocked that this man who was so huge and strong when I was a child is so tiny & frail now, but he must be almost 100. (My Nanna was born in 1915 & he is older than her).
SO while 2010 was just mediocre for me, I know more people than I can count who had a really rough time medically.
The Wednesday before Xmas I got a phone call from someone I'd heard from in years. A mutual friend of ours (an ex of hers) had hanged himself.

I returned to Australia from the UK in late 1993. Some friends introduced to me this guy they'd just met recently. B was clearly interested & was all over him.

We all lived close by & would hang out several times a week.

The house John his many housemates lived in was verging on being a squat, but it was a dirt cheap rental. It had electricity and hot running water & everything. A some point, the tennants had removed the toilet door & turned it into a kitchen table. The toilet door was replaced with a curtain, which was OK cos it was an outside toilet.
One day John was really happy in a moment of joy decided to demonstrate his Cossack dancing skills on the toilet door/kitchen table. It revolted & folded underneath him like a house of cards.

John introduced me to Nirvana, Milan Kundera, Ian (M.) Banks & Peter Carey. And From Duck Til Dawn.
We spent countless hours playing Scrabble, Pool, Yahtzee, & Zilch. He dated 2 of very close pals, and thru all that drama, he & I just remained good buddies.
We hung out a lot when his GF (my so called friend was cheating on him) & I was still adjusting to having left the UK & my daughters father & moved back to Aus.

He had a bit a drug habit, which to all intents seemed pretty well managed, depending on who he hng out with.
Every now & then he would get sucked into the junkie lifestyle, then he'd crawl out and kick the habit.

He lived with us for a while, at a point where he needed to be away from users. That worked for him. He didn't NEED to use, but if he was hanging out with junies, he would.
He was a man of integrity. He didn't come to my house off his face, and I just knew I could trust him implicitly to not steal my stuff, even knowing he was getting off his smack habit.

He was honestly a good guy.He is one of the most thoughtful & compassionate peopel I have ever met.
(Wouldn't trust him with my car though)

We'd lost contact, last I knew he'd moved to rural South Australia.
Apparently since then he'd moved to Adelaide.
And at some point in early 2009 left a gig, and woke up in the gutter missing his memory, his shoes & his wallet.

And everything beyond that is a bit of a mess.

A friend of ours who had also moved to Adelaide, Suzi, had offered to have him live with her, but his mother insisted he live with her.
John was due to spend Xmas/NYE with Suzi, but a few days before, John hanged himself.

I got into work early the Thursday before xmas & I was still a bit frazzled when the chiro & his wife came in. He noticed I was upset & I told him a friend had hanged himself, and he said, ugh, we've had the same thing, one of their sons school friends all of 25 had also hanged himself, at home, for his mum to find.

So, I dunno. Why am I posting this? I duuno, I just wanted to collect some thoughts that have ben scattered.
I wish I had gone to Adelaide for his funeral.
I wish all sorts of things.