1. Still on a high from our kickass NYE party. I knew it would be fun, but I didn't know it would be THAT fun! I think the best part was pretending it was midnight at 10 pm so that the little ones could celebrate before they got too cranky and tired. We turned the clocks around at about 9 (like they can tell time anyway) and then cracked some glow sticks and kicked around balloons at "midnight" and had ourselves a wild rumpus.
2. Crocheting a scarf for my sister in law. I need to finish it by the time she gets her on Friday. It's going to be a stretch.
3. Husband's godparents are stopping here for the night on their way from Pittsburgh to Florida. They are super cool people, and I am looking forward to hosting them for the night.

Senyar, Frango mints are awesome, aren't they?

OMG, those Frangos are delish. I had one when I was in Chicago a couple years ago, and I can still conjure the taste.

1. Happy to be back in the office - something I never thought I'd say - but my personal life feels like enough of a clusterfuck that it's nice to be in this clean office full of comforting organized things like file folders and binders.

2. Reflecting on the year past and life goals ahead. Some things are going in a good direction. I kind of don't know what I'm hoping for right now. Dread is always available, but it needs to be countered with something one is hopeful/excited for. I am excited about starting a new grad program at the end of this month, but beyond that, things get fuzzy.

3. I'm trying Mark Bittman's eat-vegan-until-dinnertime plan for healthy eating. So far it rocks. I made a great Cooking Light salad of quinoa with oranges, kumquats, cilantro, and big chunks of beets in a citrusy dressing, and had some almonds for a snack, and a plain bagel for breakfast. Once I run through the stash of NJ bagels I brought home for a rare and savored treat, I think I'm going to try to become an Oatmeal Person.

1. I was walking to turn out the light two nights ago and got a splinter from my hardwood floors in my foot that went so deep I can't get it out. It hurts almost too much to walk. Definitely derailing my return to exercise, so I'm getting kinda grumpy about the whole thing.

2. None of the pharmacies near me have any clue what drawing salve is, and I've never used it so I'm not sure how hard I should try to find it. I'm hoping it works itself out today so that I don't have to go to urgent care, which I can't afford.

3. Didn't sleep at all last night, resulting in a third day with nothing getting done. Here's hoping tomorrow works better!

1. msali, we did the same thing with the little kids at my party. We did the countdown at 10, had sparkling grape juice, horns, the whole ta-da.
2. My Christmas tree is still up. I'm taking it down today.
3. I feel paralyzed with information. My problem of late is that I read and read and read about stuff but never get my hands dirty. I need to get my hands dirty.

Sil - can you try Trader Joe's or Whole Foods? They seem like they might have it.

1. Ditto with the early new year for the kiddos. They're still recovering from staying up too late. I may have to slip them a mickey tonight so they can be bright eyed and bushy tailed for school tomorrow.

2. Back in the office, but feeling neutral about it. I have an interview for a lateral position that I'm less excited about than I was before. They really want more programming and I really want more management and a path upwards since I've hit a ceiling here.

3. Annual report time. Whee.

1. Best New Years in a long time, maybe ever: I had a quiet traditional celebration with some friends from Japan, stayed up all night talking soberly with them about a lot of old matters, putting puzzle pieces in place, setting things to rest, preparing for the dawn; it was beautiful when it came, and I appreciated it in an idiom I have avoided for a long time. We went walking around Manhattan on New Year's day, enjoying the warm weather and the straggling partiers, shopping for souvenirs, stopping for falafel. I finally went to sleep around 9:30 pm.

2. Yesterday I took it easy, spoke to my father and brother on the phone and napped on and off. My dad told me about taking the kids to the B&O train museum in Baltimore, where they checked out a few newly refurbished engines and the big holiday model train setups in the roundhouse. My brother picked up some kind of intestinal flu just after I returned to New York, so I guess I got lucky by leaving when I did. He said the worst seemed to be over, though. Enough so that he sent me a link to this Mac and Cheese Fattie. "Paddles Clear," indeed.

3. I woke up early this morning from a dream in which President Obama came to my parents' house and spent a little while with my family. We watched my nephews play and talked about my folks. My dad was off at radiation so he didn't get to meet the president, but I took Mr. Obama on a tour through my dad's bookshelf. He asked, "What, no Profiles in Courage?" I said that's really a book to be picked up at the public library, and he laughed and agreed. My 3-year old nephew climbed into his lap and Mr. Obama read him a book, and then the little guy got really small and turned into an infant and started crying. The president picked him up and held him and carried him around, talking softly, until he fell asleep, at which point Mr. Obama put him in his crib and tucked him in. I told the president I wished he could have met my mom. I said "She was the deepest well of human kindness ever, and I guess that depth eventually overwhelmed the pump." He told me I was lucky to have known her. Then he got a phone call, said to whoever was on the line, "Let me call you back" and hung up, and we exchanged email addresses. His was "American.President@yahoo.com;" I raised an eyebrow at this and he laughed and said nobody would ever guess it. Then we shook hands and he reached out and hugged me, I opened his car door for him, he got in, the car moved away, and I woke up. There was a lot more to the conversation, we talked for a long time, mostly about the kids, also we spoke about jobs and I pointed out that his was a tough one. It was the best dream I have ever had. Very vivid, I still felt it for hours even though I don't remember every bit of it. I feel optimistic, things are put together differently. Life feels sustainable at last.

Sil, drawing salve is made from ichthammol, which might help in your search.

Here's ichthammol drawing salve from Amazon. When I was a kid we used something called yellow basilicon ointment, which I see is still available in the UK. I may have to get some.

1. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm going to keep doing things until I'm either rich, arrested, fired, or hospitalized/institutionalized. Too much inaction.

2. This line on MeTa really made my day. It's always nice when people "get" my online persona. Hint: I'm not as much of a jerk as I seem, and if I do seem like I'm an asshole, you probably missed a joke. No biggie; another one will be along in a second.

1 + 2 = 3. I have no idea what to do. People say, "find something you love and stick with it," but the only thing that seems to work for me is making people laugh. It's the only time when I don't feel worthless. It's no way to make a living, but what else can I do? The alternative is killing me.

4. I woke up to Hugh's dream this morning on IRC; it was really beautiful and a hugely optimistic way to start the day. Especially:

"She was the deepest well of human kindness ever, and I guess that depth eventually overwhelmed the pump."

I mean, really. Each of us contain such beautifully poetic depths, even subconsciously, that I find hate impossible. Even my old favorite, self-loathing.

I am having a bad day, a bad week, full of first world problems and I feel guilty complaining. But here I go anyway.

1. My car wouldn't start this morning. Had it towed to the mechanic and I'm waiting to hear what's wrong.

2. My internet hasn't been working consistently for more than two weeks now. I am switching service providers on Thursday. I am very lucky that my neighbors are allowing me to jump on their wireless as of the other day.

3. The boy I really like doesn't like me back. The other boy I like, the one I'm kind of seeing, doesn't treat me all that well or really give a damn about me at all.

3a. I'm really tired of being no one's priority.

1) Saedy is doing well. This morning she went outside and rolled in the grass for the first time since surgery. That's generally one of the first things she does every day; nice to see her feeling more comfortable again.

2) I went somewhere on my own for the first time in over 6 months. Sort of. I mean, I got dropped off there. My pillow has worn out yet again--why don't they last more than a couple of months? Even expensive ones? So I got a ride to the mall and walked around everywhere trying out pillows, trying to find one that will work and maybe not become flat or lumpy right away. I came home with two, and hope my upper back pain will go down in the next week or so. I'm a little disgruntled at how often I needed to stop walking for a while and use the wheelchair, but hey, that's why I took it.

3) The upper back pain has not reduced yet. With that really terrible pain and trying to walk around yesterday in spite of it, today is seriously unpleasant. Maybe it's time to get another neck epidural too.

1. I love it when Hugh Janus drops in and wins the internet for the day.

2. I also need to say how awesome Youngergirl44 is - I got a card in the mail today and I didn't even do the exchange this year - or last year, I don't think - she must have kept all the lists! Youngergirl, if you are just confused, that makes you that much awesomer. Thanks for the card and for feeding senyar yummy stuff in her time of travel need.

3. Scared about my employment prospects. Hate this feeling.

Thanks for the info about drawing salve - and we have a Whole Foods three blocks away so I'll definitely try that tonight!

Amro, I hear your 3a, and am right there with you. When the train comes out of the tunnel on my way home and people can get phone signals, I want to smash the phones of everyone who calls their SO to meet them at the station.

1) It has been frigging cold here for days, with the highs barely cracking freezing. This, plus the week+ with the rents + a cold has made me barely leave the house for weeks. Been too long since I've ridden my bicycle, so...

2) I rode in to work this morning even though the one condition I tend to not ride in is ice. There was plenty of ice, but not too tough to ride through. The worst part was the last mile to work as that part of Kirkland had gotten a bit more snow last week and that was now real ice. The turn into the parking lot was a bit scary as the suicide lane was solid ice and there was no shortage of traffic on that road. The parking lot was pretty sparse for Monday morning a bit after 10...

3) Because it turns out they had given us today off due to New Years being on Saturday! I had thought this but then talked myself out of it. So I took a nice longer route home and got in an almost 20 mile ride before coffee! Cold though, damn cold riding. And now I have the day off and feel like I should do something besides surf the internet, blog and play Fallout: New Vegas which is what I spent the last four days doing (what I really want to do is see the Picasso exhibit at SAM but I've been afraid of the crowds. I like to spend time with the art and really check out the pieces and I find that hard when the people are packed in. I'd been planning a "sick day" in the next week or so try to catch it with less crowds,, but it's tempting to go today, as perhaps most people don't get this day off?) .

1. Ich hab' mich den ganzen Abend auf Deutsch unterhalten. It's surprising how quickly a secondary language becomes 'transparent' and effortless again.
Of course it's nice to get a compliment on my Vokabulär. Especially since I haven't spoken German for 10+ years.
2. We went down the toboggan after dark. I was rather careful and slow on my sled. Since the railing on the path looked quite unforgiving.
But then what did they expect from a flatlander...? (it's nice to have an excuse)

1. So I started my day with the nice e-mail telling me that I'd magically filled a gap at work. Sweet! Suddenly I broke into anxiety right before lunch. Might be new meds, might be the horror of having three open weeks ahead of me and no real structure. One day at a time, man... one day at a time.

2. You know... I realize that life isn't fair and all, but it is awfully ridiculous that I sit here Googling for famous people's agents' names while university bigwigs can get someone's people on the phone with the click of a button. Nobody will talk to us and tell us when people are going to be in town or if they have connections, even though we're the communicators. And then I get grumped at for not coming up with anything. No wonder I look silly.

3. My mom's 60th birthday was yesterday. Her friends are in town, and tonight we're going to a German restaurant in the boonies. Sometime between now and then, I need to write a card or note to one of the ladies that somehow adequately expresses the sentiment, "Thank you so much for sending me $100 out of the blue when I was newly divorced, living on my own for the first time in my life and about to start grad school. It was the sweetest, kindest thing ever, which is why a) I was too gobsmacked to come up with anything to say in gratitude, and b) I am giving you this note 3.5 years after you sent it to me. I am beyond awful about personal gratitude and sentiment, but I have thought about it, and you, quite often."

On that note, I hope everybody likes Christmas cards in February!

Um, Madamina, if somebody sent me a note saying "Thank you so much for sending me $100 out of the blue when I was newly divorced, living on my own for the first time in my life and about to start grad school. It was the sweetest, kindest thing ever, which is why a) I was too gobsmacked to come up with anything to say in gratitude, and b) I am giving you this note 3.5 years after you sent it to me. I am beyond awful about personal gratitude and sentiment, but I have thought about it, and you, quite often," just like that, I think I'd cry and think it was the sweetest thing ever; anybody would love to know you thought that of them, especially someone who cares enough about you to have sent it. That's really wonderful.

Hugh Janus, that is a magnificent dream and I really enjoyed hearing about it. I love it when I remember such details as you did with the President's email address. And I love that he told whomever called him that he'd call back later. What a satisfying and interesting dream.

1) We've moved into a magnificent house .. the kind of place that is included on house tours and in glossy magazines. It's not ours .. some very generous friends of my parents are letting us house-sit while they're away for the winter. I'm not sure if I mentioned that we've moved from Chicago to Cleveland so that my son can be treated at the Cleveland Clinic. Anyway this house is beautiful and out in the country and I feel like I'm in a movie, walking around in it. Sometimes the kindness and generosity of people brings tears to my eyes.

2) I don't have to go into work until Thursday so I can get us settled here. Hub is away for work so it's just me and the kid.

3) Nearly all the snow here melted and it's so nice to have it gone. There's something so oppressive about all that snow. I know we'll get a lot more but I'm enjoying the return to bareness while I can, even though it's quite cold.

1. Feeling quite cheery despite missing our dear kitty who we had to put down last week. I cleaned up my cookbook/magazine bookshelf and have been diligently reading the remaining backlog. Ran into a running article about changing a thought about "got to get up this hill" to "I get to run up this hill," and about how it changes perspective to apply "I get to" instead of "I've got to" to daily tasks. This certainly lit up my early AM run in the frozen cold (it's cold over here in Seattle too, kodama) with the happy dog.

2. We adopted a new kitty from the pound on Sunday. (She was dropped there the week before Xmas by the son of a woman going into nursing home care.) What a love. She is big, black and white, long haired, and very friendly. As she has a slight shelter-acquired cold, she's on quarantine from our other animals for a week or so. Love her big purr whenever we step into the room where we are keeping her for now. Love her name too -- Cleopatra.

3. I'm surprised how nice it is to be back at work. I did enjoy the time off, but except for wishing I could have more time with new kitty, it is good to be here. I know how fortunate I am to really like my job.

1. I'm just tickled that Senyar and rainbaby mentioned me here. Woot! Yes, I have kept all the card lists (and other random exchange addresses) so I can send to everyone. I just like you all that much.

2. Very peppy today, although I'm not too sure why. In any case, being peppy seems to be a great way to start off the new year.

3. A little frustrated because many people are demanding my time at work, and I'm doing my best to prioritize, but people seem to think I'm forgetting them. I don't forget things I have to do at work - seriously, never. I just wish they would all stop interrupting me so I could get stuff done and on to the next task. I also know I'm really bad about estimating my time, so I like to tell people, 'I have X, Y and Z to do before I can get to you.' But they want to know when I'll get to them and I don't want to provide an estimate that's horribly wrong so they get upset about that too. I know, estimating time is something I should work on.

1. The rain has driven all the ants indoors, my room specifically.
2. The car gave up the ghost and died.
3. I have a headache.

1. Back in NYC! The trip back was uneventful. We have gone grocery shopping. I still need to unpack.
2. My inbox is empty, my calendar is empty... I'm enjoying this one night of having nothing on my plate. Tomorrow, I'm sure, it'll all start to build up again.
3. Dinner: Pasta Alla Vodka. Mmmmmm.

1. Got my Betta/Siamese Fighting Fish, yay! He's reddish and not overly fancy but I like him. I took some photos, just need to figure out how to get the from my camera to my newish computer and then edit them.

2. Dear MetaChat, what should I name my new fish?

3. Went to Red Robin for lunch. Had three speckled lemonades. So bad for a diabetic, but hey, you only live once, eh?

1. Quiet, dull New Year's. Thanks to lysdexic, I did at least get to see the Rose Parade. Other than that I read books and cooked pretty good food.

2. This week is not starting out well. The only close friend I have within several hundred miles has made me so very sad lately that I have to abandon the relationship, at least for a few months, maybe longer. Now if I lock myself out of the house, there is no one to call.

3. Hate to take down the Christmas cards -- they all look so nice.

Fish name: Badger

I had a beta fish named Sherman a few years ago. He ruled.

1. Made yummy pizza for dinner. Didn't get up to investigate suspicious noises in the kitchen quickly enough, and the cat had eaten several bites of pizza crust.

2. Have a few days off before I start my new job next week!

3. And before that, I'm going to San Diego! Panda bears, here I come!

I favor Killer as a beta name.

1. Was lone person at work today (aside from the boss, who is only there until 230) and it was quite busy in the afternoon.

2. Pops came over tonight and I chatted about work stuff with him. It's frustrating that I can see how things are dicked up but I have absolutely zero authority to *do* anything. I also brought up the idea of jobs in other locations (as in, further away from the family) and he didn't flip out so maybe that is a possibility for the future. (Granted, there are a million logistical pitfalls between here and there, but still.)

3. My homie is hopefully coming down to visit this weekend. I am so not prepared.

I too once had a betta fish. I brought him home and put him on the dresser in a brand new bowl. He got all jittery, refused to eat, and went belly-up in a couple days. I bought him mealy worms to try to get him to eat and everything. He was a very high-strung fish. I don't remember what I named him.

I wish you better luck with your betta.

1. Every part of my body except my right (and dominant) arm is sore.

2. Tired of repeatedly explaining the arm sling and wrist wrap to folks at work, but fear that actually typing a note and pinning it on my shirt, which would just make them stare at my torso, would be even more awkward.

3. Note: Still not as clever as you think you are.

1. Bettas! I have had several bettas over the years, named, respectively, Fang, Fang 2, Fang 3 and Fang 5 because I couldn't remember if there had been a Fang 4 or not. If I ever get another one I will call him Fang 3000. Fangs 1 & 2 each lived for a couple of years - later Fangs have, alas, not been so lucky. But anyway they like shallow water and more of it than they say at the pet stores; those tiny bowls are cruel. Give him a bigger bowl - a trifle bowl is perfect - and a live floating plant to hide in and he will be happy happy.

2. Nothing new here. General disasters I cannot control so in the spirit of actually controlling things I'm going on a diet.

3. However, the diet will have to wait until I have eaten all the cheese leftover from my weird NYE party.

My friend's daughter's betta recently passed away :( HOWEVER! She had the most wonderfully incongruous name: Kathleen, the Angriest Betta in the World.

Betta fish is dead. He was fine all day yesterday; seemed to enjoy his new surroundings. When I checked on him this morning he was dead.

Oh no... I fear I may have inadvertently hexed your fish. :/