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28 December 2010
Ask The Whelk Anything Writer's Block Vacation Edition.
I think that every couple of years, the world undergoes a phase of change energy, where everything starts shifting around and things we thought were settled get un-settled. I just got that feeling again the other day - here we go again sort of feeling. Intellectually, I understand that things are changing for people all the time. But I also feel like we're entering a heightened state of change, or maybe more accurately a state where we're reaping what has been sown.
So, what is the deal with this? Confirmation bias? Am I just a dork?
All systems trend toward equilibrium, areas of high engery will always run to areas of low engery. In the end, the cycles smooth out and we have entropy.
Fuck that noise. We've got like conciousness and crap. Freak out and break shit.
Do I bother wrapping the gifts I have gotten for people for Christmas that I didn't get to see before the holiday? Please note that I am excruciatingly lazy, but some of the people whose gifts I haven't wrapped are children, and they are expecting wrapping.
I am trying, really trying, to write this cheesy novel that's been in my head for years. Why am I incapable of writing a female protagonist who is anything other than a Madamina surrogate? even when my friend gives me prompts, I answer them like myself.
I've got wrapping paper, Whelkie-Poo, I just don't FEEL like wrapping. I suppose my question better put would be, how do I get in the mood to wrap Christmas presents, now that Christmas is over?
On preview: Obscure Reference, don't do it. Fight the power!
An ex-boyfriend of my good friend sent me a poem that he wrote recently about romantic love. Is he confused or is this just the result of his hippy upbringing?
PS - No really, how do I explain to a three year old that I haven't wrapped his Christmas present and still save face?
Make up an entertaining story about a wonderful gift left in a sock or a shoe by The New Years Fairy who only gives gifts to children who don't ask too many questions.
At what point should I just give up?
After you finish.
An ex-boyfriend of my good friend sent me a poem that he wrote recently about romantic love. Is he confused or is this just the result of his hippy upbringing?
The only way around this are a series of romantic comedy hi-jinks and fake twins and double backstabs - don't stop til you get arrested.
Why do I keep thinking it's a brain tumor when really my ponytail holder is just on too tight?
The ponytail is cutting off vital chi to your brain, causing distress you are mistaking for a tumor. Release yourself from the tie that binds you! Let your locks free!
The speed of light represent the fastest a phton has ever gone in the All-Particle Track And Mixer. Ah128900xb won the Strange Quark for his stunning record of 186,282 miles per second. Since then his estate carefully ensures his record is never reached by distorting the mass and time of anyone attempting. Holding onto the title of the Fastest Thing Ever is very lucrative and they don't want anyone else cutting into the t-shirt sales.
Dear The Whelk,
how do I stay motivated to finish my projects at work when it seems like everyone in the world including my coworkers has this week off?
-lonely in the office
Assign personalities and complex backstories to the various bits of equipment, forms, and projects. By the end of the day you should have a drama to rival Dallas or another outdated reference.
does a well tailored suit help you 'carry' new weight better than the jeans/t-shirt combo? I know sometimes the cut of a t-shirt can really make things seem better I wonder whether I should [barney stinson voice]suit up[/barney]
Earlier today I noticed that there were two dirty pans sitting on the stove after I had already washed all the other dishes and drained the sink. It threw my whole "I'm in housework mode now" equilibrium out of whack. Should I just give up and never do housework again?
I had an idea for an intricately crafted supernatural adventure set in modern day America, filled with gods, demons and magic – when I discovered
that a man named Neil Gaiman has already done it and definitely done
it better. Question: should I continue with the story anyway and just
add more gay sex to tramp it up a bit? Y/N?
Granted it is pretty hot (there is some hilarious audio of Gaiman describing how he..tried to realize his first man on man scene and oh it's so fun and flusteringly British )
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
