My father stayed 7 nights in our teeny tiny apartment. Believe me, I feel your pain.

We went out of our way -- literally -- to avoid such a thing with either of our families. So we ended up in a tiny room at a friend's house that somehow fit 18 people, and then when we left we realized that there were actually three other people there who had never moved from the couch while we had never moved from the table. Wacky.

We did have a touch-and-go moment when the hosting husband (a very large, usually very friendly man whose day job consists of sitting at home making wacky backgrounds for his computer, who was carving the turkey over the "nice" tablecloth) got very peeved with his wife.

"Kathy, will you make the cranberry drink?"
"How do I do that?"
"14 years we've been together! 14 YEARS! And you can't remember how to do it?"
"Well, no. How do you do it?"
"GOD! You take the apple juice and the cranberry juice, and you add the seltzer! How hard is it?"
"Okay, what proportions?"
"IT'S NOT THAT HARD! JUST... oh, fine, just don't! Fine!"

And I totally would have done it myself, except that CLEARLY it would have been wrong. So later I leaned over to Kathy and said, "Look, next time just buy some damn Pomegranate 7-Up. It tastes the same anyway."

Usually we'd go visit the mister's folks in Albuquerque for Thanksgiving, but since his sister in law is pregnant with the first grandchild of this generation, the clan has opted to hang out with them in St. Louis for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. For some crazy reason the mister and I opted neither to fly NOR drive the length of Kansas twice within the space of 30 days (I know, right?).

We were instead adopted by a close friend's family and spent a blissfully idyllic day on their 300-acre ranch in the rural wilds of northern Colorado hiking, playing with horses, shooting photos, letting our friend's dad tinker with our vintage 240Z (and YAY he managed to sort out the driver's side window that hadn't been working!) and eating piles of glorious free-range turkey, sweet potatoes, kale, beets, cookies, apple, peach & pumpkin pies, cornbread, venison, pickles and preserves of all kinds. Fully 90% of the meal, including the venison, came straight off their ranch.

As an added bonus at 8PM after coffee and dessert, they turned out all the farm lights and we all hiked up the ridge above the barn. It's true: once your eyes adjust, not only can you clearly see to hike by starlight, the Milky Way does, in fact, become so bright that it casts a faint shadow.

You will also freeze your frickin naughty bits off at 6500' altitude in late November, but it was well worth it.

So, I love them all, but not only did my husband and I run off to the Oregon coast with only our dog for company, I didn't email back to any of them or call per the strong hint I got from one of them. It was very nice not seeing or hearing from or talking to any of them.

I realize I am in the minority but I sort of dread any family gathering because they are so, so tiring.

I love visiting with my family, they're eccentric but good hearted.

LFR had my ideal holiday, and I am happy to live where I can occasionally see the Milky Way, which is increasingly rare on the Right Coast. I had a really nice TDay with nephew, a friend and her daughter and niece. Very chill, good food, no drama. Well, I way overcooked the squash tart and singed the pumpkin pie crust (note to self: don't make lowered fat gingersnap crust again) but it was okay.

We stayed home for Thanksgiving, which was OH MY GOURD so great, but today I realized with a sinking feeling that that just means we HAVE to go to Christmas with The Fella's family, at least. I love all of the outlaws, but Christmas gets... crazy.

At least I'm not taking part in the big gift exchange. I really hate the kind of last-minute, big-box-shop Christmas-crazy shopping that it always seems to involve, so I've opted out for a couple of years. (The outlaws --- quite startlingly --- tried to pressure me into caving, but they're no match for my polite, smiling stubbornness.) This year, I am happy to report, no one's trying to pressure me into participating. I'll bring some tiny homemade goodies to hand out and a couple of good pressies for the kids, and go home happily empty-handed.

It will still be... crazy. I will still feel tense and awkward, but loving.

To be fair, The Fella must feel roughly the same about my family's get-togethers: anxious and clueless and obscurely pressured.

I was dragged to Virginia to go see my father's extended family (we don't talk about my mother's extended family since they cut her out of the inheritance she was owed and my father is still pissed at her (and them) because she refused to sue them over it because 'it wasn't what her mother would have wanted') and I at least got to sit at the kids table with my brother because the main table wasn't big enough to fit everyone and I had to try and make conversation with an aunt who hates me and refuses to wear her hearing aids so you have to YELL EVERYTHING TO HER and then she gets all offended because you're yelling and FFS, I would've rather stayed at home and sent a pie or something.
I'm amazed that this year is the first year the black sheep aunt (who is a vegetarian and my father hates her too and will say so to her face and anyone who will listen) was able to escape the bullshit family dinner because "she put a deposit in at a vegetarian meal with some of her communist buddies" according to pops. Maybe someday I'll be able to pull the same stunt because goddamn, those meals fucking wear on me and it took me all day Friday to recover (but I was at least able to go to the grocery store, which was completely panic inducing because it was just-opened and therefore I had no idea where anything was and it was quite busy and I ran into another family that was arguing in the same way that mine does and ugh).

Fuck holidays.

Joyous Clusterfuck!

I'm not sure what i did in my last life to deserve my family but it must have been pretty good. They are all very nice people and good cooks, to boot. I'm not big on holidays but they generally make it a very low stress affair, and are very welcoming of their eccentric black sheep brother, so I have nothing but good things to say about them. I only wish my brother in law had BBQ'd another turkey, so we could have had more leftovers but that's more compliment than complaint really.

We've stayed home for years, and since most family is at least one state away, we just exchange e-cards and phone calls.

We made our traditional chicken soup, which really hasn't been a tradition since we separated, but hey. Also had cake and pie. So it was a good time.

I wouldn't mind a holiday family get together these days. My folks have really chilled out since they retired and my grandmother died. I don't hear from any part of my dad's family, and I'm happy to keep it that way.

I've had a couple doozy holidays in the past, but this one was completely relaxed and pleasant. My parents came and stayed as our guest for two days; we had fun and laughed.

The only drama came when the fratboy next-door nieghbors started acting up. They always and only seem to do this when we are either trying to host something or trying to have a special peaceful quiet evening at home with a meal or something. It's uncanny how they know. Just as my parents were retiring to bed about 10 PM, I became aware of some increasingly loud and insistent talking...which became ranting...which became low-level yelling, as if trying to rant at someone in another room.

Knowing I had to nip it in the bud, I put on my shoes and went out the door and in their door and up to their apartment. Had to knock twice to be heard above the rant. The rant was going something like this: "They're not terrorists...they're people who care about their FAMILY. In the Middle East, they know how to take care of their PEOPLE. It's like this FAMILY. Anybody fucks with THIS FAMILY...anybody tries to TAKE SOMETHING FROM YOU...anybody tries to hurt YOUR DOG...you'll see what a FAMILY is. HEZBOLLAH? They're just taking care of their FAMILY." Finally I made my knock heard, said my piece, and it was sort of quiet enough to sleep for the rest of the night. The next night there was not much ranting, but they did do their pelting-up-and-down-the-stairs like 12-year-olds thing, which knocked a printer's case filled with tiny tchotchkes off the wall, scattering the itty bitty items all over the place. I was so mad I smacked the wall and dented the drywall, so now I have to patch the drywall.

So that was my drama. But my folks? Great. It was nice to see them.

We had a Thanksgiving with very laidback friends, which is always nice. I hate hate hate trying to do family get-togethers over Thanksgiving, not because my family is particularly dysfunctional (though we have our issues) but just because we're all scattered throughout the country and having to fly around through crowded nasty airports for a one-day holiday, so that everyone can sit around and not have all that much to say to each other, especially when one is going to have to do it again in less than a month, makes me miserable. Christmas is enough pressure.

Luckily my father, who would pretty much be the only one pressing for family together-ness, had started a tradition of visiting my aunt for the holiday, so he's taken care of and I don't have to feel guilty about ignoring him.

Miko, I once lived in a basement apartment below some friends. We had various noise-related issues, but the worst was one of their long-term houseguests who loved to leap off the bottom landing onto the floor. One of the residents asked him, "Don't you think that might bother the people downstairs?" He replied, "No, I'm doing it because I'm happy, so I'm sure it makes them happy, too!" The resident did insist that he stop, but talk about complete self-involvement...

lfr that sounds like the most awesome thanksgiving EVER.

We spent about 2 hours at my sister's house, which was less stressful than in years past when she insisted on bringing my dad up for the holiday. He was just not suited for travel anymore & had trouble dealing with anything outside his predictable assisted living environment. He's gone now, so it was more relaxed, by that standard.

My sister's a bit of a control freak, but in small doses doesn't wreck the day too badly. My other two sisters I don't have much in common with (or the control freak one either, come to think of it), so no loss there.

The holidays always make me feel like there's supposed to be "perfect family" get togethers, but it has never happened with mine. As many people I've talked to about it - like the ones who relish the party with friends night at the bar before Thanksgiving - I don't think I'm alone.

I'd rather go hang out in the woods with the dogs & mrs chewie.

We *always* do Thanksgiving and Christmas just with us. It's so much less stressful. Friends are usually involved as well.

We go visit my husband's family the week between Christmas and New Year.

We stayed home and cooked just a turkey breast. It was only three of us eating turkey anyway, since my wife is vegetarian these days.

Usually we'd go visit the mister's folks in Albuquerque for Thanksgiving, but since his sister in law is pregnant with the first grandchild of this generation, the clan has opted to hang out with them in St. Louis for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Sounds like you and the mister need to get busy, sister!

For me, growing up in Canada with mostly American relatives, neither Thanksgiving was that big a deal for us. Now that I'm so far from everybody, I mostly spend it with friends.

Christmas, now...that's a production.

occhiblu....UGH. That's what gets me most...the self-centeredness.

Along with Daughter, we had this long-time friend down from Portland. She's been in therapy forever. Has a doctorate, does high-level research. But has Issues. Way too many to enumerate here.

She wants help getting pics off the full card in her camera, so we do it on my laptop. I joke that there are no incriminating pics, are there, and she goes, well a few. . .which there were but fortunately I only saw the thumbnails. Made tripley sure that none of those pics stayed in my iPhoto.

Reading this, it does not sound that weird, but it was.