I would like to have a tasteful ecumenical memorial service, mostly secular humanist, but welcoming to those of faith. Followed by a raucus and totally inappropriate party. Which probably won't happen, because people will be too broken up for the drunken orgy.

I would like to be remembered as someone who worked hard, served well, and made a difference in people's lives. I'd also like to be remembered for my sense of humor.

I would also really, really like not to die and then find myself at the gates of hell with somebody telling me that I was wrong about the whole "there's no god" thing. And also wrong about the whole "if there is a god, there's no way he/she could possibly damn anybody to an eternity of torment." That would suck. Mostly because I would be definitively wrong, but also because of the eternal torment.

What a great question. I'd like to be remembered as someone that cared about others, was kind, and helped some people change their lives in positive ways. I'd also want my husband to know always how much I loved him, without feeling constrained by that in living the rest of his life fully.

And to my surprise, I really don't much care what my funeral looks like or who speaks.

I do care how I die, and definitely prefer a fast and painless exit. I'm pretty sure if I got a bad enough diagnosis that I would check out early. I also care what happens after death . . . I have my own beliefs, but of course none of us will know whose are valid until after it happens, if then.

This is too depressing to consider. The thought of the people I love mourning me and my little son being left alone in the world is just unbearable.

As a pretty non-religious guy...I sort of hope it's a non-religious deal. I do hope that the people that mattered to me are there, if only to be able to share the loss. I think that sounds sort of self-impressed, but when my best friend died two years ago, seeing the turn out, and realizing that we ALL lost someone wonderful really helped me. So, yeah, I hope folks can make it. The form it takes, though...doesn't really matter too much to me, as I don't expect to be in attendance.

I hope I'm remembered for my wit, humour and kindness. I hope I'm not remembered for my knack for seeing the negative in things. I try to live my life, especially after losing my friend, and perhaps realizing how perilous life can be...well, I try to make sure that those that matter to me KNOW they matter. So, yeah, I hope that comes across somehow.

Also, I'll be sure to have the playlist attached to my will. I'm not sure I can come up with one right now, but there'd better be some loud music. And once those that blush easily leave, perhaps a really loud version of Too Drunk to Fuck, just for kicks.

I forgot my own "More Inside"! Now there's a thing.

Also, I have two or three separate responses to these questions, which will come later.

I'm not going to have a funeral. its in my will . I'm just going to slip away quietly

No funeral here. Just a cremation, followed by a vacation to a to-be-left-unnamed town on the coast of Brazil. It's my happy place. My loved ones will all be along, and they will take my ashes out on a boat and scatter them at sea. I hope then that they will eat good food, drink good wine, and only tell good stories about me.

Definitely funeral -- I've counseled too many people whose loved ones have not had funerals and seen the emotional weirdness it causes when people don't have a ritualized way to say good-bye. Also, I tend to think rituals are a good thing, anyway.

Spiritual-ish, maybe, but not super-religious. Though I'm enough of a cultural Catholic to think that it's best if there's a set agenda and not too free-form, and that the officiant do most of the talking. Music of some sort would be nice. I would like people to mourn, because that's how they work through their grief. But I would also like people to remember me with love and laughter, not only sorrow. I hope there are enough goofy stories about me floating around by the time I die that laughter is easy.

If I died tomorrow I have a really good idea what my funeral would look like: just like my sister's 8 years ago. The family would congregate at my parents' house, my mother would feel everyone needed to have a say in the funeral proceedings, my grandfather would make some stupid and selfish demands, and at some point all of my siblings would pull apart some cardboard boxes and attempt "sledding" down the staircase like we did when we were kids.

I would be alright with that because I believe funerals are for the survivors, and whatever they feel they need to do to help their grief is fine with me. If at any point I feel that my loved ones would argue about that sort of thing, then I suppose I'll have to make some kind of a decision, but I hope it won't come to that.

My only desire is that any viable tissues or organs are recovered for transplant.

"Is it important that people mourn your death?" Nope. I'll be gone so it won't matter to me. It's more important to me that people celebrate my life than mourn my death anyhow.

I hope my funeral will be completely irreligious, and a sort of silly party with everyone wearing ridiculous hats (perhaps I should put in my will that everyone has to wear a costume - halloween is my favorite holiday) and being kind to one another and trading good and bad memories of me. I want everyone there to take a part of my book collection, and hopefully at least one thing that I made, whether it's a quilt or a painting or a short story or a crocheted brain slug. Nothing too formal - I hate to wear anything other than jeans and a t-shirt, so I wouldn't want to inflict anything stuffy on anyone else, particularly my loved ones. And I hope it happens a loooooooong time from now.

The best memorial services I've been to - and I've been to too many in the last few years - have been Quaker. That's what I want: no formal service, no minister, none of that nonsense but everyone sits in silence and those who want to can stand up and say something. I would like there to be a big crowd - the one good thing about funerals is seeing all your old friends and people you haven't seen in years. I imagine there will be a crowd because naturally the service must be followed by a big old drunken wake and I'm fairly sure my friends and relatives wouldn't miss that. Particularly if I manage, somehow, to leave enough money to pay for the booze. I like the wake thing: it's not the mourning so much as it is the chance to throw one more party. And it's good for you, cathartic.

And as to how I want to be remembered? Oh today I was looking something up in the Joy of Cooking and I came across some notes in my mother's handwriting and it was so sort of bittersweet. I imagine my daughter will have that book and some others and probably the tupperware container that says GRITS along with the proportions of water and salt and stuff on it in Mom's handwriting that I can't quite throw away, so I bet that's how I'll be remembered. Kitchen notes and flannel shirts - I'm wearing one of my dad's old ones right now - and Aunt Claire's coral beads and a gazillion drawings. Really, the poor kids - it's tough to be an artist's, or well, a packrat's child, there's so much goddamn stuff around to deal with. They'll never be able to forget me.

I don't care. I'll be dead. I'd like to have my body thrown to hungry wolves while it's still warm, but since that's impractical and kinda gross, I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes kept on a shelf at Marty's, my favorite bar, so none of those old drunks ever have to drink alone.

And I'd like to be remembered as someone who was good to his friends and didn't make things on this shitty planet too much worse.

I want to be cremated, and have a small portion of my ashes be baked into a cake that's offered at my service.

I don't much care what kind of ritual or ceremony my loved ones observe after I die, though I agree with occhiblu that something to mark the change is important, and it would be odd for anyone to arrange a religious service for me since I'm an atheist. If my husband survives me, he's in charge, in which case there will ABSOLUTELY NOT be a religious aspect.

and at some point all of my siblings would pull apart some cardboard boxes and attempt "sledding" down the staircase like we did when we were kids.

This sounds wonderful.

Now I can imagine my siblings (all older) reenacting a scene from my early childhood: setting up moving boxes in a tunnel winding through the halls and rooms and even down a flight of stairs, each box wedged into the next so there is no escape. You have to crawl all the way from one end to another, and if you'll too little to feel safe in this endeavor and you start to cry, you'll hear the encouraging calls of your big brothers and sisters (who tease you every day but who really love you when the chips are down), reaching out to help you find your way to the bright pinpoint at the end of the tunnel.

That seems like a reasonable metaphor for life, for love, for a lot of things that matter.

A shallow grave out in the forest somewhere, then a gathering, anywhere convenient, of anyone who wishes to come and memorialize me. Hopefully it would include good food and drink and music.

For some of my really old friends, a paddle-out in Hermosa, spreading some flowers in the ocean.

I'm a registered organ donor; I hope there'll be something useful left when I die, but I doubt it since at 43 my body is already a mess.

I want to be cremated. And if I die before the mister I want my ashes saved until he dies. Then his ashes and mine and any of the beasties that are around can be let loose along the Vedder River here in BC or any other pretty body of water.

I don't want a formal funeral and especially don't want anything religious. A memorial at my mum's house (if she's still around) would be great. There must be lots of food - all my favourites. And the colour pink! Ohhh, pink roses would be lovely. If it's wanted, a time could be set aside for people to speak.

I'd like to be remembered as a kind person and for my love of animals.

I'm a registered organ donor

I didn't even think to mention it, but yes, me, too! Whatever my loved ones choose to do with my body (or if I pre-arrange something simple and cheap), it will have to wait until anything useful can be taken out/off first.

Yes, please use any organs.

Yes, I want a service, where people say kind, funny, nice things about me and comfort my son. Scatter my ashes someplace beautiful. I hope my son, and maybe grandkids, remember me with love.

I'd prefer to not die, pretty sure that's not happening.