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07 September 2010

Just rehashing a frustrating memory from the past... [More:]You're a guy, in a fairly new relationship. You give your girl a very nice pendant at a restaurant. Nothing is said to indicate how, where or when you would like it to be worn. Girl accepts it (she can hardly easily reject it, particularly as people at 2 other tables have noticed what's going on), while cautioning you to curb your desire to spend so much money on her at this point in the relationship. She wears the pendant the next time you see her. The time after that, you notice she doesn't have it on. She explains that while the pendant goes with almost anything, it doesn't happen to go with the top she's wearing that day, as it has an unusual neckline. What are the normal range of reactions that a guy might have to such a circumstance? (and why didn't girl run screaming when confronted with actual reaction...)
He could say, oh, OK, and leave it at that.

He could say, oh, well, that kind of hurt my feelings, I was hoping you'd wear it all the time, but I'll survive.

He could launch a lengthy explanation on why you're wrong and it DOES go with that particular top.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 September | 13:17
Ooh, ooh, similar story, another drama king boyfriend...I was following this one in my car to go to a restaurant, he drove too fast and turned when he was over a hill and I couldn't see which way he went (this was before everyone had a cell phone). Drove all over creation til I found the restaurant; he wasn't there, I got blamed. Big fight. Jeez o man...they're all either boring as hell or drama kings.
posted by serena 07 September | 13:25
I experience this kind of thing all the time with my knitting (or, you know, with other people's knitting). There's a "rule" that you never knit your boyfriend anything until you're married -- the "boyfriend sweater curse" -- because you'll break up after you give it to him. You've put your heart and soul into something, and then you have to let it go, to be treated in whatever way the recipient chooses... and that may not be in ANY way what you'd anticipated. (Case in point: my ex lost his Space Invaders hat TWO DAYS after I'd knit it for him.) And that, in turn, shows what kind of care they give something that you cared enough to give in the first place.

Of course, it also means that the giver can go bonkers over something that in other circumstances would be a mere trifle. (Not that I would know.)

So, really, you shouldn't give any gifts of consequence unless you're sure that you could handle whatever horrible thing that might happen to them.

Be glad that you're not at that point anymore :P
posted by Madamina 07 September | 14:43
I hate following someone in a car. I am a strictly by-the-book driver (I know, boring as hell), and I always lose whomever I follow.
posted by Ardiril 07 September | 14:43
I can remember giving Mrs. Dooh a pendant when we were dating. She enthusiastically accepted it and then promptly wore it oh... a month or two later. By then I forgot what it looked like and she had to point it out to me.
posted by Doohickie 07 September | 19:12
It's horrible that he even mentioned that she wasn't wearing it. Semi-insanely possessive. We assume she's no longer seeing this guy.
posted by DMelanogaster 07 September | 19:42
yeah, that was only the beginning of the insane possessiveness. well, it was years ago, live and learn.
posted by serena 07 September | 20:18
Doohickie- that is so cute!
posted by halonine 08 September | 14:25
What was his actual reaction?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 08 September | 15:12
Skin: || This is a Bon Voyage thread!