I've had Winston since I was 21, my senior year in college. Got him shortly after I moved into my first solo apartment. I've told this story before, but I was on my way to work at the mall. I stopped at Whole Foods (the original Whole Foods in Austin, which was then a tiny little place prone to flooding) to get a sandwich. I left Whole Foods with a sandwich and a kitten. It was the classic case of two little girls sitting out in front of the shop with a box of kittens, and I fell for it.

I took Winston to work with me at the one-hour photo lab in the mall. He was tiny, not properly weaned, and his eyes were still unfocused. He was soooo cute. Ordinarily, it wouldn't have been too huge of a deal to have him there at work; my boss was cool, and I planned to keep him in a box in the back. However, it turned out to be the day that the district manager was visiting, so my boss made me hide him. At first we stuck him in one of the cabinets under the register, but then the manager started running reports from the register, so we whisked Winston away when the manager's back was turned. We had this photo booth in one corner of the shop that was mostly used by South Austin gang kids. They'd get all thugged up and take a dozen photos of themselves flashing gang signs and then, I don't know, distribute their photos to all their friends? Whatever. I stashed Winston behind the curtain in the photo booth -- a good plan until a gaggle of gang girls with big hair came in to record their images. They paid for their pictures and I took them over to the booth so that I could load up the film. "There's one thing," I told them. "There's a kitten in here and he has to stay in here. Don't mess with him, and don't let him get out, okay?" It didn't phase them. They said okay.

After they'd left, I checked on Winston. He was fine. I took their roll of film to be developed. And it was an entire roll of film of wannabe rough-and-tumble gang girls holding and cooing over a kitten. That was my first day with him. I think they taught him things.

He'd been with me my entire adult life, until Wednesday. All the moves to new apartments, all the moves across country, all the new jobs and bad jobs and bad days and breakups. All of it. He was the only one who was always, always there when I needed him, no questions asked.

It's so weird that he's not around. Last night, I kept hearing him scratch at the garage door in that way that frustrated the hell out of me. [He'd go out into the garage, his refuge from Turtle and Zuzu. He'd stay out there for a while. He'd scratch on the door. I'd let him in. He'd go back and stand at the garage door again, look up at me. I'd open the door for him. He'd peer out into the garage to see if anything had changed. It hadn't. He'd walk back into the living room. Two minutes later he'd go to the door and look up at me. Rinse, lather, repeat. This inevitably resulted in a "GODDAMMIT, WINSTON!"]

He was always, um, challenging. When he was a kitten, my mother lobbied HARD for me to give him up. "Just take him to a farm somewhere," she begged. All of my friends have scars from him. I have scars from him. He was very in touch with his emotions. He knew when he was mad at you, or when you offended him, and was amply able to express that. He had a line, and it was easy to cross it.

He was always very loyal to me, though. He was a one-person cat. He slept on my head. He wasn't properly weaned, so on the very first day I got him, he tried to nurse in my hair. That fixation with my hair never went away. When I went to bed at night, he'd lay down on my pillow and knead my scalp. Sometimes he'd drool. Once his teeth went bad, he'd drool stinkily, still kneading my scalp with too-sharp claws.

I know with absolutely 100% certainty that he was meant to spend his life with me. I know that pretty much no one else would have put up with his behavior in his early years. (The ambushes! The scratching! The jumping from the windowsill onto my head at 2:00 a.m.! The blood!) I know that I loved him more than anyone else ever could have or would have. And I know that he had a good life.

He went from weighing over 20lbs a couple years ago to weighing under five a few days ago. He had sixteen good years in which he hated everything and everyone except: Me, strawberries, cantaloupe, strawberry yogurt, me, raspberries, potato chips, me, catnip, and me.

It's so strange that he's gone. Mostly, I think, because he's not gone.

I'll miss you, buddy. Thank you.

((pupps))

RIP Winston.

he tried to nurse in my hair. That fixation with my hair never went away. When I went to bed at night, he'd lay down on my pillow and knead my scalp. Sometimes he'd drool.

Oh, so endearing.

Good for you. Good for everyone who loves the hard cases. Good for Winston. Peace to you both, on this side or the other side.

What a wonderful tribute to an ornery bundle of fur. It's always the weird ones who worm themselves most deeply into our hearts and minds, isn't it?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Winston was a cat who was determined to be special.

Mudpuppie, how did you come about the name Winston?

He sounds like a wonderful cat. The cats that are a challenge are often the most rewarding to take care of. You gave him a good life and the best care he could have had.

So very sorry, pups. I've had one of those challenging cats - Cassie, for 15 years until I was 20 - and they are awesome.

((((( *hugz* )))))

It's always sad when we have to say goodbye to one of our fuzzy friends.

::hugs::

I'm sorry for your loss, mudpuppie. Winston sounds like he was an awesome cat and he hit the kitty lottery when you took him home from the grocery store.

So sorry to hear about your cat. Sounds like he had a good, interesting, loving life with you.

Awww. It's so sad and so hard. I really enjoyed reading about him. The bond that you sometimes get with a special animal is really great and it hurts like nothing else when they're gone. Sending you hugs.

What a great cat.

hugs, hon. Such a hard and yet a right thing to do. Love to you.

I saw your Ask Me and read the whole story but couldn't finish the thread because I teared up. Much sympathy and empathy and virtual hugs from me to you . . . this is so tough. But you gave Winston a wonderful ride, from start to end. No cat could have been loved more.

Very sorry dear :(

massive massive hugs to you. HUUUUUGS. So sorry. You've been a great kitty-parent.

I'm so sorry for your loss, mudpuppie, and so admiring of how unquestioningly you put Winston's comfort and peace above your own. That's a big part of what we owe the animals who share our lives, and you're a model of how to do it.

Your AskMe question shows that this was even harder than expected, and I'm so sorry. Whether it's a question of poor judgment on their part or a farfetched misunderstanding isn't clear, but I know that however you handle it, it will be with strength and compassion.

Please take extra-good care of yourself, and let us take a little care of you, too.

I loved reading about Winston. I'm so sorry for your loss.

All of our beasties are special but there seems to be an occasional one that is extra special. I think you and Winston were, as you wrote, pretty much destined to be together. Lots of hugs and whuffles to you, mups. And thank you for sharing Winston's story.

I'm so sorry, mudpuppie. But I'm glad you got to spend part of your life with Winston, and that he got to spend his with you.

I just finished reading your AskMe thread, in addition to this post, and am near tears. Come to Chicago so I can hug you in person.

((mudpuppie))

I'm so sorry for your loss, and it's wonderful that you did get to spend so much time with a great, fuzzy soul. I'll tell my friend Kielle to keep an eye on him for you out in the unknown, okay?

Bye bye Winston.

I feel bad for your loss.

.

mudpuppie, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for taking such good care of Winston.

That was the most beautiful and perfect eulogy for Winston, pups, and I'm still crying. He was yours and you were his, and that will never change.

I'm so sorry. I know just how much it hurts and how much we miss our beloved pets. I'm sending you lots of hugs...

*hugs*

RIP

hugs

*hugs* My thoughts are with you.

What a special boy. You two were meant for each other, pups.

*hugs*

Hugs to you, mudpuppie, and may Winston rest in peace.