SHOUTING: AT THE SCUMBAG WHO STOLE THE IPOD OUT OF MY CAR LAST NIGHT →[More:]I DON'T KNOW IF I'M MORE MAD AT MYSELF FOR FORGETTING TO LOCK THE CAR DOORS (FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER), OR AT THE KIND OF DOUCHEBAG WHO'D OPEN SOMEONE'S CAR DOOR, GO INTO THE GLOVE BOX AND STEAL A SCRATCHED UP, 6 YEAR-OLD IPOD WHICH MY WIFE BOUGHT ME WAY-BACK-WHEN FOR MY BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH WE COULDN'T REALLY AFFORD IT AT THE TIME.
IF I HAD THE ABILITY TO GO BACK IN TIME TO LAST NIGHT, I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT I'D BE RATIONAL AND JUST LOCK THE CAR DOORS. BUT INSTEAD I WOULD LIKELY TRY TO FIND A WAY TO SMEAR THE IPOD WITH THAT FLESH-EATING VIRUS AND LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN SO YOU'D STEAL IT AGAIN. AND IT WOULD BE WORTH IT.