The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

Do they like flying monkeys? ≡ Click to see image ≡

The Whelk, I came in to copy and paste that exact sentence. Now I wish I'd stuck with biology in college. Then I too could enrage monkeys for a living.

I'm going to repeat what I wrote at MonkeyFilter because nobody goes there anymore :-( even though it IS the perfect place for monkey-oriented discussion...

Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat!

But that trick never works!

This time for sure! PRESTO!! Oh shit, it's not a rabbit, it's a monkey!!! Run for your life, Rocky!!!

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MonkeyFilter's BlueHorse linked to the ten tips on how to prevent or survive a monkey attack, starting with

#1. Learn that whatever the situation is, never heckle a monkey.

to which I added my own 9 other tips:

#2 Never refer to chimpanzees or other primates as "monkeys". (REAL monkeys are notoriously speciesist)

#3 Never use slang terms like "monkeying around". Computer techies should also avoid the term "code monkey".

#4 Always clean up after your dogs; you do not want to provide an easy source of poo to fling.

#5 Do not leave "child proof" packages out where monkeys can get to them. As dangerous to them as the contents may be, when they are frustrated trying to open them, the packages WILL be converted to projectiles.

#6 Do not laugh in a monkey's presence, even if it is at the latest episode of "Futurama" (damn, that show's getting better all the time!). Monkeys will always assume that any laughter is at their expense.

#7 Music may have charms etc. etc., but only Smooth Jazz, Showtunes or Modern Country (not Bluegrass). All other genres will drive them wild. And avoid live music; a saxophone is the first thing they'll go after.

#8 NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.

#9 Never promise a monkey anything you are not 100% positive you can deliver on. If you promise to take them to Denny's, they will never accept IHOP.

#10 If you ever find yourself caught in a political discussion with monkeys, just turn on Fox News and leave the room immediately.

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I do monkey around way too... what? NO! BAD MONKEY! BAD... AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH.

My sister's b;friend sent this along when I sent him the link. I sort of see his point.

The Whelk's quote caught my eye as well. WTF?

1. Monkeys are creepy.
2. That video is awesome, jessamyn!!