MetaChat - Are there any other Jean Teasdale fans among us?

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15 June 2010

Are there any other Jean Teasdale fans among us? Because there's going to be a Jean Teasdale book. It's to be published in October, and is tentatively titled “A Book of Jean's Own!: All New Wit, Wisdom, and Wackiness from The Onion's Beloved Humor Columnist”. It’s supposed to be all original material rather than a collection of old columns. →[More:]A few words from Jean on the subject:

Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)
A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!
Among the many nuggets of fun:
* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex!
* For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!
* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!
* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!
* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!
* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!
* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!
* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)
* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!)
* Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)

I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

I don’t see how I can wait until October to get a hold of this book. I'm not expecting to benefit significantly from Jean's nuggets of wisdom, but damn does this promise to be funny.

post by: Orange Swan at: 11:27 | 10 comments

For some unknown reason the Onion is filtered at work, hence I do not read it much anymore. Esquire Magazine is also.

On the other hand, lemonparty and other stuff that you'd like to instantly unsee are just fine.

I love Teasdale also!

posted by danf 15 June | 12:19

I have a confession. As much as everybody knows a Jean... I really, really, really do. And it's really hard not to make fun of her.

Unlike Jean and Hubby Rick, she does seem to have a great marriage, and I'm happy for her (though constant referrals to the WGH -- World's Greatest Husband -- do get a bit old). But the website-for-cats, glasses-from-1987 and athletic-socks-with-dress-shoes, terrible horrible awful writing, literally-counting-on-a-lottery-win things? Oy. She's... reasonably nice, but she just doesn't seem to catch on to how the world around her does it. And I am a card-carrying member of "doesn't catch on" myself, but MAN.

Do you ever have people like that? People who just make you stand back and say, "REALLY? This is the world you've created for yourself?" I know I'm a very different person than she is, and it makes me feel so awful and judgmental to pooh-pooh the things that make other people happy and give them meaning. But when she places so much emphasis on things that are never, ever, ever going to happen, some delusions just seem a bit more harmful than others. (Seriously. I would link to some of this writing, but that would be mean.)

Whew. Glad I got that out.

posted by Madamina 15 June | 12:25

It's. . . fiction. . .right? Annoying fiction? *blinks*

posted by rainbaby 15 June | 12:33

Jean Teasdale is a fictional character, rainbaby. Thank heavens. There's no way I could enjoy making so much fun of a real Jean Teasdale. As Madamina says, it just makes you feel bad.

Jean's column is a parody of a kind of column that often appears in small town papers, written by columnists who are like her and who natter on about nothing in a way that's supposed to be funny and is just tedious and unselfaware.

I'm trying to decide whether I know a Jean. And yeah, now that I think specifically about it, I think I do. But mostly when I read about her, my instinctive reaction is to search myself for Jeanesque qualities... and hope I don't find them.

posted by Orange Swan 15 June | 13:35

I have an awful tendency to ramble on about crap when I am nervous, and have to tell myself not to Jean Teasdale. It works.

posted by gaspode 15 June | 13:36

That is one of the hardest forms of humor to pull off successfully. I have been failing at it for years.

posted by Ardiril 15 June | 13:50

Some of my favourite Jean moments are: the "plushie jamboree", the time she and her dad ran a "Off-Season Santa" store (which involved Jean dressing up as a big snowball) and a bunch of teenagers invaded the store and played "catch" with Jean, and the time Jean decided to deal with 9/11 by pretending it never happened.

posted by Orange Swan 15 June | 14:00

Oh, ok, I thought Madamina was talking not about the person she knows, but the character. Sorry, Madamina.

posted by rainbaby 15 June | 14:59

There's not very much, but maybe A Site of Jean's Own!!!! can keep you content for a short while. Unless you've already seen it all, which is a distinct possibility, as the site is © 2005 Jean Teasdale.

posted by filthy light thief 15 June | 16:04

Jean's web site is insanely great. I'm expecting the book to be a extended version of it.

posted by Orange Swan 15 June | 20:41

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