Interesting article. I wish the girl had more parental encouragement, or encouragement from a caring adult. It does seem like she has some concerned adults in her life but they are overwhelmed.

Some teenagers are self-motivated but most need somebody rooting and encouraging them every step of the way. Good for that mother that found the charter school for her son. Without it, he probably would have ended up like his friends that didn't graduate.

My parents cared but I barely scraped by and I didn't take the SATs. Like Laura I was pretty much trying to get to the next grade. I didn't have many people telling me I was capable. I didn't think I was smart. My head was in the clouds and I didn't have any goals. At one time I thought I might become a dental hygienist. Nothing wrong with that but that's all I thought I could do. I went to community college and then to a state university. All was fine in the end but I wish my middle and high school years weren't so mediocre. On a positive not, it was a great life lesson and I did a lot of growing up. You will bet that I will encourage my kids every step of the way and will not tolerate the bare minimum.

An adult outside the family who cares is probably the single most significant success factor in a child's life. There are a lot of ways of establishing that relationship, of which charter schools are only one. The fact that the young man's school was small in size, and that he was accountable to the same small-cluster teacher and in the same group throughout high school, were very powerful factors. The bigger the system, the easier to get lost in the cracks, and the harder to hear the voices of adults.

An adult outside the family who cares is probably the single most significant success factor in a child's life.

Really? I would think it would be an adult in the family, particularly, the parents. I'm no expert though.

The bigger the system, the easier to get lost in the cracks, and the harder to hear the voices of adults.

So true.

Really? I would think it would be an adult in the family, particularly, the parents.

Not to underestimate the parents' role, but not really. Think about it with two hypothetical children. Child A has perfect parents, but never recieves any validation, recognition, support, respect, or opportunity from anyone outside the family, ever, at all. Everything he hears or knows about himselve comes from inside the family. The only ways of understanding the world that he has come from inside the family. The only moral or decision-making structures that apply in his life are those of the family.

Child B receives the same otherwise great parenting but, early on, finds that not only her parents but also adults who have no direct vested interest in her success are nevertheless supportive, helpful, and caring. Scout leaders, camp counselors, teachers, community members get to know her as a person and reflect her best (and worst!) qualities back to her in a way that isn't restricted to what she experiences within the family dynamic. That second child learns that she has something to offer the world, even total strangers, and that there are people in the world who interact with them as a person of inherent (rather than genetic) value. She learns that there are even more possibilities in the world than the ones that can be imagined for her by her family. She learns that her role in life can be dependent on her achievements and decisions, not just her birth order or family role.

And that's true even in families with otherwise good parenting. What's amazing is that in families with bad parenting or no parenting, the outside-the-family caring adult can still have those positive impacts, and that they can be positive enough to override home factors.