How are you defining love? By whether or not they said those three little words?

Thousands
Thousands
Thousands

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Do four-legged people count?

With ticks?

Serena, I detect a bummer of a day. Would you like a hug?

OK, I meant to say "Number of people who have been in love with me that I'm actually aware of, based upon their communications to such effect, and/or a preponderance of evidence."

A Gentleman never tells.

Number of people who have more-or-less proposed to me, and then withdrawn it a few days later for completely different reasons: 2

Number of people I would fuck right now if they were willing: 4

Number of people who would fuck me right now if I was willing: not sure, probably 2 or 3, not counting all those unanswered Craigslist ads

Number of years my sister has been without a steady relationship (beginning at age 13 to present, mid-40s): 0

Number of years that I have actually BEEN in a steady relationship, same time frame: 5

Number of online matches that have resulted in anything other than "no, not interested in anything further": 0

Number of years spent sporadically looking for online dates: probably 11 or so, not counting aforementioned 5-year gap and other issues

Number of 8-minute speeddates attended: 32

Number of dates resulting from speeddates: 0

Number of times I've been told "you're pretty, funny, interesting, any number of guys would be thrilled to have you, you'll definitely find someone someday," including by the 4 men mentioned above: infinity

I used to make lists like this and I counted up the people I was really, truly, madly and deeply in love with as opposed to the crushes, the delusions, the sexual odysseys, the things that just happened, etc. I made lists of people I had kissed and people I had gone to bed with and people I might, at some point, move from one of those categories to another.

And then I got older and older and older and there were new relationships to add to the lists and categorize and finally one day I realized that this whole thing was an exercise in not making me very happy at all. So I threw the lists away. Love is love is love. Time you manage to share with other people, naked or not, in love or not, is never wasted time. There's a finite amount of time in the world but not of love or lust or like or even just cracking up laughing helplessly until the tears stream down your face into your ears.

[+]

Number of times I was definitely in love: 2

Number of times I think I might have been in love: 5

Number of people I've dated for more than 6 months straight (breakup and makeup doesn't count): 4

Number of times I've misconnected with crushes (crushes on each other don't overlap in time): 2

Number of exes I would date again because I am stupid, but come on, I dated them for a reason: 3

I love mygothlaundry.

Number of times I've gotten engagement rings: 3
Number of times papers have been filed with church to test for 'clear to wed': 1 (Sweden)
Number of weddings: 1
Number of annulments: 1
Number of babies: 1

I'm not going to tell you how many guys were involved in all that, I already look like a slut with them numbers.

A slut, dabitch? Not when you said "wed" three times. (OK, one of them was "Sweden", but seriously, nobody else has even mentioned marriage.)

Number of years of my life about which mygothlaundry has suddenly made me feel incrementally better: 23ish

Number of times I think we actually were two people in love but had serious communication and personality problems preventing us from staying together: 3

Number of women I really wish I'd been smart enough to make it work out with: at least 5

Number of unrequited loves whose names I might still involuntarily blurt out in a private moment: 3 to 5

Number of open doors, looking back, that I was too stupid to just walk through: at least 10

Number of people that I've completely overturned my life (in a bad way) for: 2

Number of casual hookups I've had: 2

Number of people I have been in love with, on some level, from teenhood all the way to now with those feelings not being mutual: 1

Number of times I've married well: 1

Number of times divorced: 0

Number of regrets: 1,000,000

mgl, that second paragraph...WOW. That's a great thing to read at this point in my life, possibly for anyone at any point in life. Whether or not I'll remember it when it matters remains to be seen, but thanks.

Also I don't know if I can put any numbers to anything. Might be too easy, or too hard, I'm not sure which.

"and yes I said yes I will Yes"

and mgl that was beautiful and shiny and deep like you

Every time I go outside a particular mockingbird swoops down towards my head. I am pretty sure that bird is in love with me. Either that or it had a nest in a shrub I recently cut down. The former seems more likely though. Birds fall in love with me very easily.

Birds fall in love with me very easily.

No good British braggart.

# of official relationships with members of opposite sex: 3
# of official relationships with members of opposite sex that I ended: 3
# of years since official relations with members of opposite sex: 9 and counting.

Yeah, sounds about right.

I love everyone.

Also, I have 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Seriously, though. I probably love you and you don't even know it (yes, you!). I used to do a lot of white-knighting, but not so much anymore. That was more ego-driven and was about what I got out of it. Now I'm just really into appreciating people for who they are and looking at the things that make them great. Including you! Yes, you! You are great!

(And remember folks, it's not a contest. Don't measure yourself by anyone else.)

But just for funsies:

# of people I'd marry: 0 (not feeling the whole marriage thing right now; yes, this has changed recently)

# of people I'd run away with right now, however: 4

# of people I'd (to use Melismata's language) fuck right now: 4 (not the same four, though! ooooh complex)

# of people I'd sleep with: Umm... dozens. I missed the whole "cuddleslut/makeoutclub" thing when it was happening. This includes several people on this site (oooooh drama)

# of people whose baby daddy I've offered (non-jokingly) to become: 2, maybe 3? (oooh responsibilities)

# of women who would (probably) hop in the sack with me given the chance: I'm guessing 2 or 3??? (ooooooh fishing)

# of men who would do likewise given the chance: at least one (ooooh progressive)

# of people I flirt with on a regular basis: 8-10. Not that that's ALL we do in IRC... but it is encouraged.

speaking of which:
# of couples I've directly or indirectly hooked up online (that are still together): 6, I think. So, you know, IRC (just to mention it again)

Thanks for sharing all. Makes me feel better about my dismal lack of love life at the moment.

No. of times I've truly been in love: 3
No. of times I've been loved back: 2
No. of times I thought it would be forever: 1
No. of poisonous relationships: 1
No. of crushes: infinite (I crush so easy, I've gotten used to it now. I never say anything though. I'm a coward.)

Hrm.

No. of relationships > 4 y in length: 3
No. of times I have been in love: 2
No. of times (1) has coincided with (2): 1

Regrets: none.

Spelling out the numbers? Oh HELL NO.

I keeping the numbers to myself on this one. Especially since I met my husband on MetaChat!

Number of crushes that made me giggle uncontrollably, look at the floor, and blush a fantastic red shade whenever they looked at me (which of course never became anything because who would want to go out with redfaced stutter-dweeb?): 3

Hehe okay.

No. of soul-destroying obsessions I called love: 1
No. of "friends" who during put moves on subject of obsession: 3
No. of Joy Division posters in dorm room: 2
No. of times "Disintegration" listened to: ~1000
No. of weeks in mental hospitals: 2
No. of years since: 20

Number of men I've loved: 2
Number of men I loved who loved me back: 2

Number of men I could have loved if they'd been willing to be with me for long enough: 3
Number of the three men I could have loved who wanted to be with me: 0

Number of marriage proposals: 2 (both in kindergarten)
Number of fiancés/husbands/common-law partners: 0

Lifetime total of time spent in a monogomous, committed relationship: less than six months

Present statistical likelihood of my ever getting married: 0.00001%

Since reaching adulthood, longest continuous stretch of time I actually got all the affection and companionship I wanted, wasn't lonely, and could just be happy: 1 week

I was thinking about this thread this morning, as I was walking through the park to my office, having totally been in love as I was leaving the house. When I was young, I thought the point was being loved the most. Then that ended badly, so I figured it was about loving the most. That ended even more badly. And now I'm old and I figure it's not about being loved and it's not about loving. (Where "it" means the partnership, the romantic love, the holy grail of Being With Someone Else). Most certainly, it's not even about balancing between the being loved and the loving.

The best I could come up with--and it's not a great explanation--is that it's about caring, a nice weak sauce word if ever there was one, alas. Caring about, caring for, caring to. And you can't always quite be sure ahead of time who is at the other end of the preposition and there's no way to make it come out even, so stop trying.

Love is abundant. I love my Guy. I love me. I love my mom, my dad, my cats, my friends, cheese. I love my sister and her husband. I love my nephew. I love my house and my neighborhood. I love coffee. I know now that love not quantified or rationed. You don't get only so much. So, I even love some memories and some things I probably ought to let go of. I don't have to condition or qualify or control the love because love abides. And the Holy Grail of Being with Someone Else is not only love. It needs love; it comes from love; it gives to love, but it isn't love. It doesn't live or die by love. it doesn't consume all your love.

Of course, I hadn't really had much coffee before walking through the park this morning. So I could be full of shit. Anyway. Love is God; let's go get a slushie.