Mass transit would be a perfectly lovely thing if every rider had the same agenda as you and me, crush-onastick: to get from point A to point B while producing and enduring as little noise, stress, and drama as is humanly possible.

But apparently, to many people, the bus is not so much a mode of transport as it is a kind of combination Disneyland/Coyote Ugly on wheels—a place where you go to toss aside all your cares and inhibitions and live life like a Joe Eszterhas movie with the volume cranked up to eleven.

In other words: Hell is other people (on the bus).

Another One Rides the Bus.

I work right next door to a convention center, so I KNOW what you are talking about, crush.

Most annoying part: trying to enter the building, and convention visitors are acting like trying to go through a revolving door is akin to solving a Rubik's cube. JUST FUCKING WALK, ALREADY.

Best part: on the train w/ convention folks who have obviously never ridden transit before, so they don't hold on and go SPRAWLING when the train starts to move. Sometimes a whole group of them will hit the floor. I see this at least a couple times a month, in spite of signs everywhere that say HOLD ON and a person on the speakers saying "Please HOLD ON."

There should be some sort of secret bus signal and the good bus will only stop for efficient commuters and everyone else can sit on the crazeee madness bus. And we get donuts on the commuter bus.

Atlanta's trains are horrible for their starts. Even when I felt my worst as my heart disease ramped up, I would give my seat over to someone who looked feebler.

Welcome to life on the Mag Mile, crush. The land where no one understands how buses, trains, or revolving doors work, and people stop in the middle of the sidewalk to look at the sky and drool.

I once had a tourist at Walgreens *get in my section of the revolving door behind me* and then say "watch it" when the back part of the door clipped her heels. Weirdest tourist interaction ever.

Not sure where your office is, but there's a Dunkin' back on Rush Street between Hubbard and Kinzie. That's the only one in the 'hood I know about - I can't eat donuts because they cause my blood sugar to spike and then crash and then I'm starving to the point of shaking by 10:30 am.

My bus system is run by and primarily patronized by college students.

They are idiots at both the driving and the riding.

crush,

Is it coincidence or synchronicity that I just happened to be reading this article on Wired?

"A new design study aims to shield riders on public transportation from what’s often their biggest complaint: The public"

oh man, lfr, I want it! I want it!

kaz--I'm up by the MCA. There's the food court at Field's which has a couple pastry options, but I suspect all the hospitals around here make for bad donut business.

lfr, that looks like the little pod system that zipped all over the bad guy's island in The Incredibles! How awesome that would be. (Especially if they played that fantastic music as you zipped along to work.)

We don't get too many tourists 'round here and that sounds like a pretty normal bus commute to me. Everyone crowds the front of the bus and no one will move back or let you by so that you can move back.

And because it's Pittsburgh, no one can ever figure out when to pay, myself included. The rules for paying when you get on vs. paying when you get off are so confusing that I've never quite groked them in twenty years.

You need to develop the imaginary wall most Japanese commuters have.

If you want efficient commuters (quiet, polite, comatose), try the N in NYC at 6:30 a.m. There are no tourists at 6:30 a.m.

The return commute is another story. (Tourists should not be allowed out during rush hour.)

I love the F Line here in San Francisco with a fierce passion, but dear lord, the American tourists clearly have never ridden any sort of transit, ever.

My train commute in the morning (6.00 am train) is a delight - almost without exception, it is the same people every single day. Everyone has 'their' seat, everyone says good morning then shuts the fuck up and leaves me alone. At the moment (school holidays), there are even enough seats for everyone. It's a little oasis of calm in an otherwise hectic day.

The line I catch goes to/from the airport and not many people seem to want to catch the train there at that time of day - it's all commuters.

Coming home though. Holy shit. The train is full of people with enormous bags and suitcases with no clue about how to use the train, where to get off, what to do with their luggage (here's a hint: don't pile it on the fucking seats or people like me will dump it in the aisle to take the seat. Don't get upset, the train belongs to those who spend two hours of every day in it - you're just visiting) on their way from the airport. It's crowded and noisy and the only saving grace is that I've trained myself to fall asleep almost immediately I sit down and then wake up a couple of stops before I get off.

You can also purchase a giant, headsized glazed cinnamon roll at a corner stand on the way to said train for a mere buck.

Mmmmm, cinnamon roll...