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06 April 2010

Swans! And cows. Oh, and pigs too. So I’ve picked out my swan jewelry. [More:]

I ordered and received this silver Celtic swan ring weeks ago. And I just bought this swan brooch and swan bracelet from Etsy. There was a vintage pin on there that I lost out on because I waited too long – it was a Soviet-era pin with some sort of folk-tale like scene depicting waves and flying swans and a couple of faces that seemed to be in a boat. Seriously cool, priced at $5, and someone else bought it because I was making myself wait until April because I was a bit over budget for March (kicks self). Anyway. I think I’ll stop at three pieces of swan jewelry. Unless I come across something completely irresistible. Themes can get overdone and tacky pretty quickly.

I’m reminded of my former sister-in-law’s kitchen, which she had done in cows. Everything had cows on it. Everything. There was cow wallpaper, a cow border, cow curtains, cow art and a cow calendar, cow seat cushions, cow placemats, cow tea towels, and cow potholders, cow oven mitts, cow cups, glasses and plates, cow fridge magnets, cow canisters, cow figurines, cow sugar and creamer, a cow teapot, and a cow apron hanging on a cow hook on the wall. My brother had to make a deal with his then wife that she could have all the cows she wanted in the kitchen but they weren’t to go straying out into the rest of the house in order to keep things within some kind of limits. (The penalty for stray cows was to be that he got the big ass plasma TV he wanted and she didn't.) It was so over the top though that it was beyond tacky and edging into the surreal. You felt like you were in a puzzle picture and weren’t allowed to leave until you’d found all 327 cows.

A few months before they were to move into a house they’d bought, I was at Leon’s Furniture store one day during some promotional event, and I was given a cow bag dispenser. My first impulse was to hand it back to the store employee, but then I remembered Maggie and her cow kitchen. I decided she’d like to get the bag dispenser along with the Canadian Tire gift card I’d bought them for their housewarming present. Maggie was indeed thrilled with the bag dispenser. My brother stared at it morosely and said. “Gee. Thanks.”, in a tone that sounded singularly ungrateful. He did like the gift card though.

My other sister-in-law has decorated her kitchen with a pig theme. In that case it’s cute though as a) my brother is a pork farmer and b) she has shown some restraint and taste in picking out the pig décor items.
The cow kitchen was kind of like that moment in Dodgeball when Vince Vaughan steps into the home of the woman he's interested in and finds it's Unicorn City.
posted by Orange Swan 06 April | 11:28
I would very much like to see some pictures of the cow kitchen. Also, you refer to her as your "former sister-in-law". Did the cows have anything to do with the breakup?
posted by Kangaroo 06 April | 11:43
I love that bracelet!
posted by sperose 06 April | 11:47
I don't have any pictures of the cow kitchen. Which has been dismantled — though presumably Maggie reconstructed it wherever she moved after she and my brother broke up housekeeping.

And the cows weren't the issue, though they didn't help.;-)
posted by Orange Swan 06 April | 11:49
The ring is really cool!
posted by danf 06 April | 12:30
Seconding danf on the ring.
posted by Ardiril 06 April | 15:13
A teacher's April Fool's Day prank. || Do We Still Have a Laid Off Bunnies Club?

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