MetaChat - What do you do when every conversation around you makes you want to kill someone?

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18 March 2010

What do you do when every conversation around you makes you want to kill someone? →[More:]

I am unable to tune out other people's conversations ...so...I'm sitting alone in a lounge, drinking free wine and listening to two men older than 45 talk like King Dudebrah of Doucheterton about "virtual sex" and how "no man over 40 can't have a family unless they're gay" and focus to the other ear and Becky! Is! Nice! About! Things! okay? okay? you know?

I need earphones.

post by: The Whelk at: 20:09 | 28 comments

Older woman and man, clink glasses, drunkenly half-yell
"best thing ever! NO CORKAGE!!" I'm just never going to talk in public ever again.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:11

lol

I think part of it has to be forgiving people their eccentricities and hence learning to be comfortable with your own.

But yes I'm often in earphones even at restaurants. Fuck it, double up with earphones and a book AND be like texting and shit.

posted by Firas 18 March | 20:17

thats why they invented pointing and laughing at people :p

posted by rollick 18 March | 20:20

On one hand I find this makes me able to generate "real" conversation on the other hand it makes me so uncomfortable to listen to that I physically squirm.

Usually I just watch documentaries to see How People Act but yah - I'm so sensitive to conversation that I have a real hard time filtering out, loud bars are pretty much torture.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:21

Firas has it. Less judgement, more observation.

posted by BoringPostcards 18 March | 20:21

I am anti-Confrontation rollick! I cannot Be Mad In Public, it's a problem, I am aware I am waaaay too sensitive (although, oddly enough I can be a swaggering asshole in French, I blame the verbs)

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:22

(the judgment was cause I'm pretty sure some of the King Douchebrahs comments where inspired by my laptop and ...MAN I CAN HEAR YOU) I'm going back up to my room now and chilling the fuck out.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:23

(Oy! I just realized that documentary line could be taken as a HURF DURF STOOPIDHUMANZ thing and It's totally not! More like, i want to know how people react to say their mom selling all their stuff to buy crack and that has never happened to be so I watch a bunch of documentaries on it to see how everyone's thought process is going and ...such. Cause I'm usually trying to tug out information, I've become really sensitive to outside stimulus - I can't deal with TV noise in public for one- and I admit I am strange and have a limited and personal viewpoint, which is why I usually put myself into uncomfortable situations (like this one?) to see how People Who Are Not Me think))

OR long story short, I don't have a ton of mental callouses toward stimuli and this stuff can drive me up the wall.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:32

decaf, man.

posted by Firas 18 March | 20:36

That place sounds like an Overheard in New York goldmine.

posted by hangashore 18 March | 20:36

But isn't there some scientific principle that the very act of observation changes the thing being observed? So maybe the douches are actually nice guys. But probably not.

posted by leesh 18 March | 20:40

Yeah, this is why I just don't go out anywhere. Ever.

posted by sperose 18 March | 20:41

Hey, at least you get to hear all of the conversation! My cubicle is near HR, but they're just far away enough so that I can't hear all the details. They'll say on the phone or to someone, "you know, it's really not acceptable when you do, mumble mumble..." and I'm like, do what? WHAT?! Maddening.

posted by Melismata 18 March | 20:42

There was actually some talk this trip about types of stimuli, on how I can be completely off-putt by audio stuff that my BF would totally ignore and not even notice yet I can deal with insanely complicated visual information without blinking and wondering why he needs a whole extra minute to figure it out. Where the chunks of our brains are allocated and such. Or not. It seemed interesting.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:44

Melismata: that would drive me BANANAS.

posted by The Whelk 18 March | 20:45

What do you do when every conversation around you makes you want to kill someone?

You're going to have to narrow that down a bit.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 18 March | 20:54

What do you do when every conversation around you makes you want to kill someone?

Find a different bar.

posted by jason's_planet 18 March | 21:01

Can I have some of that free wine please?

posted by Kangaroo 18 March | 21:12

For me, feeling invaded by strangers (who are not actively trying to invade my space) is always a sign that I'm feeling anxious in general and need to work on that. It's consistent enough that I use it as a red flag.

But I've yet to find a way to deal with the frustration in the moment, other than glaring and walking away in a huff.

posted by occhiblu 18 March | 21:17

This is where wearing hearing aids comes in handy.

posted by desjardins 18 March | 21:59

"What do you do when every conversation around you makes you want to kill someone?"

I stab the guy wearing earphones.

posted by arse_hat 18 March | 22:43

What were they saying that was related to your laptop, Whelk?

I know what you mean about different sorts of stimuli. I hate background television noise sometimes; can't bleeping stand it, but can do almost anything listening to my in-ear music or podcasts I selected.

About the selling stuff to buy crack thing, here's a great phrase I learned from 50 Cent: "smoked the TV".

posted by Firas 19 March | 03:22

The trick is: get a lot older. Somewhere in my late 40s or early 50s I stopped being so angry at everyone.

But maybe it will come back when I reach 70.

posted by Obscure Reference 19 March | 06:31

I usually put myself into uncomfortable situations (like this one?) to see how People Who Are Not Me think))

OR long story short, I don't have a ton of mental callouses toward stimuli and this stuff can drive me up the wall.

I do this too. I feel like it's helped me understand many kinds of people well, but some people are just so outrageous that I can't take it. It's overload. I have to leave or put on music.

In the meantime, breathe and think of your happy place. :)

Or: AHHHHHSUCKSTOBEYOULALALALALAI'MNOTLISTENINGAHHHHH

posted by halonine 19 March | 09:44

You gotta find a different scene. I overhear great stuff all the time. Why, just yesterday on the M60 bus, I was sitting near the front and a lady got on wearing a too-small pair of pants and a too-short shirt, exposing her "muffin top". I thought, ouch, that looks painful and unattractive, and let it go, but then the older woman next to me mutters, it's that time of year again, loud enough for me and the lady sitting near to her to hear. We all had a chuckle, and then the two of them went off about how unattractive it was and why don't people have any pride and blah blah blah. It was a good time.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 19 March | 09:46

What were they saying that was related to your laptop, Whelk?

More that the instant I whipped the laptop out they started talking about who brings a computer to a bar and internet- sorry - VIRTUAL SEX and hookup sites and how you could never come back from that and oh me oh my clutch pearls.

Just another "My life is very different" moment.

posted by The Whelk 19 March | 11:08

Yeah. Damn this random laptop hostility among bar patrons is kinda widespread eh? I keep reading odd anecdotes in mefi-land about it. I've never really brought one to a bar but I'd much rather be doing something on my laptop than staring at their f$@#ing muted TV or whatever.

posted by Firas 19 March | 16:46

oh god you HOPE it's muted.

posted by The Whelk 19 March | 17:58

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