WHAT DID YOU GET FOR SELLING US INTO CORPORATE SERFDOM, DENNIS?! *TWO* BAGS OF HONEY-ROASTED PEANUTS FROM AIR FORCE ONE?!

THIS STUPID COLD WILL NOT GO AWAY!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE, DAMMIT!

I HAVE KICKED DOORS DOWN FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF CUTTING THE CORD OF AN OFFENDING ALARM CLOCK. IT WAS PRETTY DAMN COOL AND IT WENT DOWN JUST LIKE IN A MOVIE. UP GOES MY BOOT AND pow! THE DOOR AND FRAME SHATTER; IN I GO AND DESTRUCTIVATE THE ALARM CLOCK. I NEVER HEARD AN ALARM CONTINUE TO SOUND THERE AGAIN. ****ING INCONSIDERATE ****OLES MAKING ME LOSE MY COOL. FIRST WARNING, SECOND WARNING; THIRD TIME THE ALARM GOT IT.

I'M WATCHING A CHICK-FIL-A COMMERCIAL AND IT'S MAKING ME REALLY FREAKIN' HUNGRY. I KEEP EATING AND NOTHING IS SATISFYING!!!

I AGREED TO BE ON THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE FOR MY SON'S MIDDLE SCHOOL AND AS IT TURNS OUT I AM THE COMMITTEE. I'VE GOT 48 PAGES TO LAYOUT IN THE NEXT WEEK.

I WANT A PEDICURE

DO YOU SHARE A FUSEBOX WITH THE OFFENDING APARTMENT, EJ? IT WOULD PROBABLY BE WRONG TO START PULLING FUSES UNTIL YOU FOUND THE ONE THAT POWERS THE ALARM, HUH? THAT'S TOO BAD.

GODDAMMIT FUCK, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT ALEX CHILTON DIED AND I'M FUCKING SAD. JUST YESTERDAY I HEARD THAT AN OLD GUITARIST FRIEND OF MINE HAD A FATAL HEART ATTACK WHILE PLAYING HOCKEY. FUCK YOU 2010.

I JUST GOT ARRESTED AND BOOKED. MY FRIEND TOOK MY BAG, CONTAINING EVERYTHING BUT MY ID, INCLUDING MY DEBIT CARD, MONEY AND METRO CARD. I WALKED FROM THE LOWER EAST SIDE TO EAST NEW YORK. I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY BAG BACK. YOUR PROBLEMS SEEM CHARMING AND QUAINT IN COMPARISON.

I'M HUNGRY AND MY BANK CARD ON IS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY!!!

NO SHARED FUSEBOX, ELSA. BUT HE SLEEPS DURING THE DAY AND WORKS AT NIGHT, SO I THINK MY OWN ALARM MIGHT WELL END UP GOING OFF ALL BY ITSELF ONE MORNING ...

AND A TOM CAT HAS BEEN IN THROUGH THE CAT FLAP AND SPRAYED IN HERE. I HAVE FEBREZE'D MY NEW SOFA TO WITHIN AN INCH OF ITS LIFE. I SUSPECT I WILL NOW HAVE TO BITE THE BULLET AND BUY THE £70 CAT FLAP THAT WILL OPEN ONLY FOR MY CATS BY READING THEIR MICROCHIPS.

AND I SAW A PLAY LAST NIGHT THAT WAS VERY WELL ACTED BUT THE STORY WAS EXECRABLE, CLICHÉD MELODRAMA. BUT I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE THE AUTHOR WAS IN THE AUDIENCE AND ALL HER FANS WERE THERE.

I'M SORRY FOR YOUR TROUBLES, FUQ.

TPS, I GOT A FREEEEEEE (!!) PEDICURE TODAY! IT WAS GLORIOUS! (I STILL HAD TO TIP, BUT THAT'S OKAY!)

EXCEPT I SORT OF RUINED ONE OF MY NAILS AFTERWARDS, SO I HAVE TO GO GET IT FIXED TOMORROW. BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ASS.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I HAVE A LOT OF WORK, AND BOYS SUCK, AND AND AND.

A FREE PEDICURE? THAT'S AWESOME! I'M GOING TO GO PAY FOR ONE ON FRIDAY NIGHT. YAAAAAY NICE NAILS.

fuq? any better?

Forgive me while I rant, but it has been a long day and it's only 2:00.

WE HAD HOMESCHOOLERS IN HERE THIS MORNING AND THERE ARE MORE COMING ANY MINUTE AND HOMESCHOOLERS DRIVE ME COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS. LADY, I'M SORRY BUT YOUR HOMESCHOOLED KIDS ARE UNSOCIALIZED MONSTERS AND YOU ARE NOT DOING THEM ANY FAVORS BY ALLOWING THEM TO REFUSE TO DO ANY WORK - I.E., A SCAVENGER HUNT ON WHICH THEY WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO THINK GOD FORBID - WHILE THEY'RE HERE. ALSO IF YOUR OWN GRASP OF MATH IS SO BAD THAT IT TAKES US 15 MINUTES OF PATIENT EXPLANATION TO FIGURE OUT THE ADMISSION COSTS FOR YOUR GROUP - HINT, MULTIPLY NUMBER OF PEOPLE BY 5, THAT IS THE ANSWER - THEN PERHAPS I AM JUSTIFIED IN THINKING YOU ARE NOT THE BEST POSSIBLE ARITHMETIC TEACHER FOR YOUR MIDDLE SCHOOL AGED CHILD. OH AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE CHRISTIAN; I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT GEOLOGIC TIME. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T COME TO THE SCIENCE MUSEUM.

IF YOU HAVE SIGNED UP ONE CHILD FOR A HOMESCHOOL CLASS AND THEN YOU SHOW UP WITH FOUR KIDS, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED WHEN WE TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL EITHER NEED TO LET THE ONE TUITION PAID KID SIT IN THE CLASS ALONE OR PAY FOR THE OTHER THREE TO TAKE IT AS WELL? IF YOU ARE NOT ORGANIZED ENOUGH TO SIGN UP AHEAD OF TIME FOR THE CLASS THEN SOMETIMES IT WILL BE FULL. THAT IS TOO BAD. YOU MAY THINK YOUR FOUR YEAR OLD IS A SECOND GRADER BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW HER INTO THE SECOND GRADE CLASS BECAUSE SOCIALLY SHE IS A FOUR YEAR OLD. WHEN YOU THROW A TANTRUM AT THE FRONT DESK BECAUSE OF THIS, HOMESCHOOL MOM, YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYONE AT ALL AND YOUR KID IS RIGHTFULLY EMBARRASSED.

ALSO, IF YOUR KIDS ARE STANDING IN THE GIFT SHOP BEATING ON EACH OTHER WITH TOYS FOR SALE I WILL TELL THEM TO STOP IT, SORRY. GO AHEAD AND COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MEAN I AM, I DO NOT REALLY CARE. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING IN THAT YOU WILL JUST STAND THERE AND TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS WHILE YOUR CHILDREN RUN AMOK THROUGH A MUSEUM GIFT SHOP? HOW CAN YOU SEE THAT AS OKAY BEHAVIOR? ARGH GRAR GRAR GRAR WHY THE HELL CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO SCHOOL?

Wow, mygothlaundry, how do you not kill these people with your bare hands?

OUR PATENTS FILING DATABASE IS AN ARCHAIC ERROR-RIDDLED PILE OF CRAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!

1. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE A TWO HOUR MEETING IN A REALLY HOT ROOM, SUBJECT OF WHICH IS "WAYS THAT YOU ALL SUCK" COMPLETE WITH A POWERPOINT PROJECTION OF SPECIFIC WAYS IN WHICH SPECIFIC PEOPLE SUCK, COMPLETE WITH SAID PEOPLE'S NAMES. WITH EXTENDED DISCUSSION OF WHY THE SUCKY PEOPLE SUCK SO BAD AND ARE RUINING THE COMPANY.

2. PLEASE DON'T INVITE SEVEN PEOPLE OVER TO OUR STUDIO APARTMENT FOR A DINNER PARTY WITHOUT CONSULTING ME, ESPECIALLY WHEN DINNER PARTIES CONSIST OF YOU YELLING AT ME FOR THREE HOURS BEFOREHAND WHILE I DO ALL THE GRUNT WORK AND THEN TAKING CREDIT FOR THE WHOLE THING.

3. I AM NOT GOING OUT TO THE FUN PARTY AT THE FUN BAR TOMORROW NIGHT BECAUSE I AM SO GRUMPY I AM GOING TO EXPLODE. I'M JUST GONNA HANG OUT ON #bunnies ALL NIGHT AND TALK TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T ANNOY THE SH*T OUT OF ME.

I COULDN'T POST IN THIS THREAD YESTERDAY! GRAR! I KEPT GETTING MYSTERY ERRORS.

MGL, I'VE SEEN "YOU TOUCH, YOU BREAK, YOU BUY" SIGNS AT OTHER SHOPS.

FUQ, DETAILS?

I'VE ASKED THE LAWYER SEVERAL TIMES IF SHE HAS THE PAPERS I BROUGHT HER AND SHE HAS YET TO REPLY. IF SHE'S TRYING TO PLAY THE CANCER CARD....I HAVE GREAT COMPASSION FOR MANY CANCER SURVIVORS. THE DESIGNER WHO SIMPERED THAT I OUGHT NOT TO BE ABLE TO OWN MY PLACE AND DOUBLE CHARGED ME IS NOT ONE OF THEM.