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15 January 2010

TABING OUT IS NOT AN OPTION: First Time! Last Time! Ask The Whelk Anyting!
post by: The Whelk at: 18:08 | 51 comments
dear Whelk,

green or blue?

yours most respectfully,

lfr
posted by lonefrontranger 15 January | 18:15
British Racing Green and Deco Blue.

NEXT!
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 18:18
Can we clarify the terms of this please? Am I asking for the hidden secrets of The Welk, or am I asking The Welk to solve my problems?
posted by serazin 15 January | 18:25
Either or. Anything is possible, anything at all. The only limit is yourself.
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 18:31
Q1: WHAT. THE. FUCK. WHELK?!?!?
Q2: Is there anything edible that you can't order on a pizza somewhere?
posted by ufez 15 January | 18:34
And follow up question: Would you like to be in a porno sometime?
posted by ufez 15 January | 18:35
1: Like a bottle of champagne
2: Human flesh
3: Depends, is nudity an important part of the story and will you use my good side?
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 18:39
List ten Czech words you've used in the last 24 hours.
posted by mdonley 15 January | 18:42
1: Thank You - Děkuji.
2: Excuse Me -- Dovolením.
3: Do You Speak English? -Mluvíte anglicky?
4: ???
5:???
6:???
7:???
8:???
9:???
10: I don't speak Czech - Nemluvím česky.
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 18:48
OK then Welk, can you solve my romantic problems which can be best summarized with the phrase, "water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink"?
posted by serazin 15 January | 18:57
Drink wine.
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 19:00
In lieu of bourbon, or in addition?
posted by serazin 15 January | 19:06
both
posted by The Whelk 15 January | 19:09
Excellent. If nothing else, I won't care about my dating problems after drinking all that booze.
posted by serazin 15 January | 19:11
Which of the question that have been posed to the capn recently would you answer differently?
posted by Obscure Reference 15 January | 19:16
And, as a follow up, do you believe that anyone can learn to draw? Does that include Harvey Pekar? Does that include me?
posted by Obscure Reference 15 January | 19:19
What should I drink at happy hour today?
posted by special-k 15 January | 19:22
will you buy me a garnet ring?
posted by Stewriffic 15 January | 19:34
Are you related to Lawrence Whelk?
How do you say "cotton candy" in Czech?
Why must I be a teenager in love?
posted by Kangaroo 15 January | 19:35
I don't have any real plans this evening. What should I do?
posted by special-k 15 January | 19:37
What is Stanley's (from The Office) twitter name?
posted by chewatadistance 15 January | 20:14
I'm lonely. Will you be my friend?
posted by ninazer0 15 January | 20:14
Is 212-479-7990 still a good contact # to give to solicitors?
posted by buzzman 15 January | 20:46
Whelk, is there really a place in France where the naked ladies dance?

And can you, in fact, see it all through a hole in the wall?

posted by jason's_planet 15 January | 20:56
Why did The Whelk break his promise to me? Why am I crying so uncontrollably?
posted by special-k 15 January | 23:31
Obscure Reference: Of course, drawing is largely a hand-eye coordination skill (Like say, touch typing) with learning how to measure with your eye and handling a drawing tool. Go read Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain, it really works.
Stewriffic: That depends, A) Is it Magic? and B) What do I get?
Kangaroo: Nope, but I am related to someone else.
Ask Google.
Because the Gods demand it, failure to do so will result in disfigurement, just ask Helen.
Chewatadistance: Cnostance Von Fuckmonster.
Ninazer0: Sure, but I am a bad friend who never calls or writes and is always asking for money.
Buzzman: It works better than my incoherent screaming, go for it.
jason's_planet: Yes. Try the SEXODROME near Pigalle Metro (Note: do not).
special-k: THe answer is much, and thankfully, your plans for this evening where to cry uncontrollably. Salty tears go well a Bloody Mary. You're welcome.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 02:19
I am thinking of becoming a subsistence farmer, is that a good idea?
posted by Meatbomb 16 January | 02:38
Do you like toil?
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 02:40
Dear The Whelk,

What does "tabing" mean?

Your truly,

The Spelling Nazi
posted by amyms 16 January | 03:10
Yours* truly!

Aaaargh, that's what I get for trying to be clever.

*sob*
posted by amyms 16 January | 03:12
TO TAB, TO SWITCH BETWEEN TABS OR CLOSE ONE IN AN INTERWEB BROWSER.

The French for New Tab "Nouvel Ongley" sounds so dirty.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 04:00
Onglet*
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 04:04
Vous êtes un garçon vilain.
posted by amyms 16 January | 04:12
AM NOT!
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 04:22
NEXT!
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 04:35
Yikes! That was supposed to say "You are a naughty boy" but I just ran it through an online translator and it said "You are an ugly boy"... Please forgive me!
posted by amyms 16 January | 04:38
It can also mean "nasty". Ugly is an odd choice for a translator.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 04:41
Not in and of itself, no.
posted by Meatbomb 16 January | 06:00
What's your favorite quick-easy-cheap-healthy-tasty recipe?
posted by marsha56 16 January | 09:37
Good cheese on good bread, a Port Salut on some rich brown bread with a pinch of salt maybe and maybe a sour apple after.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 10:20
Not in and of itself, no.


Need I remind you of my penetratingly blue eyes?
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 10:22
Whelk, this is actually a serious question

Have you ever seen the film Irreversible?

What Parisian neighborhood does it take place in? Does any of it look familiar to you?
posted by jason's_planet 16 January | 13:00
A lot of Paris looks ....exactly the same. It's a noted feature. Lemme look at some film stills.

Okay, all I can find is naked pictures of people.

Was it the "traditional" Parisian look, 6-story golden brick buildings with blue roofs? The more "village" like lower-level, less ornate neighborhoods? or the outer suburbs which can have anything from 10-story brick apartment buildings or glass cubs to rows and rows of grim housing blocks?
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 13:16
OKay, looking up the shooting location, the "S&M Club" in the movie was a redecorated bar north of the Champs Elysées, so pretty much central Paris.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 13:30
It looked pretty grubby, medium rise, like, three-to-six story buildings.

But I'll take your word for it -- Central Paris it is.
posted by jason's_planet 16 January | 14:02
Thanks!
posted by jason's_planet 16 January | 14:03
Well, off any side street you can get smaller buildings, and they can get twisty, but yeah a lot of Paris looks like the other parts cause that's what happens when you have someone Master-Plan it in the 19th century right after a big ass fire and war.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 14:06
(Also, I've seen soooooo many places I know turned into totally different areas via Movie Magic. Grubby mews filled with drunks turned into romantic flower walks, local pubs turned into seedy dives, houses in fancy-ass hoods looking like they're in the boonies and vice versa, educational buildings shot to look like temples, and of course, people jumping 30 blocks in a second when driving.)
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 14:10
Like say, half of the scenes in The Departed that are in "Boston" are totally around the corner from my friends in Queens.
posted by The Whelk 16 January | 14:12
Have you ever seen the film Irreversible?


Oh, man. I saw that in the theater when it came out. Good lord, what a mindfuck. But the sex scene at the end? Pretty hawt.
posted by ufez 16 January | 17:54
Oh, man. I saw that in the theater when it came out. Good lord, what a mindfuck. But the sex scene at the end? Pretty hawt.


Yeah, I remember that one. I remember that one shot of Belluci's shoulder muscles moving beneath smooth smooth skin.

Very hot.
posted by jason's_planet 17 January | 10:57
← I'm thinking about having an existential crisis. || Bunny! OMG! →

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