MetaChat - Random recipe generator

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12 January 2010

Random recipe generator - via MetaFilter, and the funniest thing I have seen this year.

post by: Wolfdog at: 16:46 | 23 comments

Oxo Cubes Supreme
Serves 1

You will need:
* 2 lamb chops
* 3 oxo cubes

Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 190 C
2. discard the lamb chops
3. fry the oxo cubes until browned
4. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

I don't know exactly why these are so funny, but, man, are they ever funny!

posted by Atom Eyes 12 January | 16:56

I think my favorite was the Packets of Dry Onion Soup Supreme recipe that I got. I mean, it's not just Packets of Dry Onion Soup, right, it's Packets of Dry Onion Soup Supreme.

posted by Wolfdog 12 January | 16:59

And I'm going to resist the urge to paste too many of them in here, but...

Bananas And Bananas Pudding
Serves 3
You will need:

* 100g chicken
* 5 bananas

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. slice the chicken
3. stir the chicken
4. melt the chicken
5. spoon the chicken onto a warmed plate
6. lightly fry the chicken
7. add one tablespoon of the chicken
8. grind the chicken
9. fry the bananas until browned
10. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

posted by Wolfdog 12 January | 17:01

That post reminded me of an old bit on The Odd Couple. Oscar has stepped up to do some of the cooking and he serves Felix a pot filled with a revolting mixture of whatever foodstuffs were around. Felix primly inquires, "And what do you call this melange?"

Oscar replies, "I call it goop. But I like your name better. Goop melange."

posted by Joe Beese 12 January | 17:02

I actually just laughed until I cried. I don't often do that.

posted by altolinguistic 12 January | 17:32

This one qualifies as abuse to porridge oats:

Whipped Cream Compote
Serves 5
You will need:

* 120ml greek yogurt
* 5 red onions
* 5 chillis
* 150g porridge oats
* 120ml whipped cream

Instructions:

1. grill the porridge oats
2. grind the porridge oats
3. whisk the porridge oats
4. mix the porridge oats in
5. discard the red onions
6. fry the porridge oats
7. simmer the porridge oats gently for 20 minutes
8. eat the whipped cream
9. fold in the porridge oats
10. fry the porridge oats
11. spoon the porridge oats onto a warmed plate
12. simmer the porridge oats gently for 20 minutes
13. discard the porridge oats
14. toast the greek yogurt
15. fry the chillis
16. serve piping hot

posted by mudpuppie 12 January | 17:34

Why is this so freaking funny? Each one makes me laugh out loud!

posted by Specklet 12 January | 17:41

Pinches Of Salt And Sprigs Of Asparagus Pudding
Serves 4
You will need:

* 5 pinches of salt
* 4 sprigs of asparagus
* 2 slices of bread

Instructions:

1. grill the pinches of salt
2. discard the sprigs of asparagus
3. throw the slices of bread away
4. go down the pub

Yum.

posted by Specklet 12 January | 17:43

I think I understand now why I'm not a very good cook. A lot of this stuff makes perfect sense to me.

posted by JanetLand 12 January | 18:41

The first one I got really reminded me of the "Kramp Loaf" in The Groove Tube. Please tell me someone else here knows what I'm talking about.

posted by pinky.p 12 January | 18:51

Specklet: WANT!

posted by special-k 12 January | 19:06

I remember The Groove Tube. I am so very very old.

posted by BoringPostcards 12 January | 21:36

I'm such a bad cook that this is probably what I'd come up with.

posted by desjardins 12 January | 22:13

Iceberg Lettuce With Iceberg Lettuce Mash
Serves 4
You will need:

* 5 sausages
* 40g iceberg lettuce

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. defrost the iceberg lettuce
3. heat the iceberg lettuce
4. stir-fry the sausages
5. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

posted by Miko 12 January | 22:30

Every one of the recipes makes me laugh out loud. I was laughing like a maniac in my office earlier today.

posted by amro 12 January | 22:44

This is my kind of recipe! I might leave out the garlic, though.

Red Wine With Red Wine Mash
Serves 5
You will need:

* 4 cloves of garlic
* 20ml red wine

Instructions:

1. stir-fry the red wine
2. spoon the red wine onto a warmed plate
3. flambe the red wine
4. microwave the red wine
5. microwave the cloves of garlic
6. enjoy

Yum.

posted by amro 12 January | 22:56

Oh man, I was laughing at this all morning. I sent it to a few coworkers who wondered what was up. They didn't seem to find it nearly as funny, but at least they understood why I would suddenly double-over in fits of laughter.

posted by treepour 12 January | 23:34

Cornflour Supreme
Serves 4
You will need:

* 70g lard
* 50ml water
* 100g cornflour

Instructions:

1. rinse the cornflour
2. heat the cornflour
3. heat the cornflour in the saucepan
4. whisk the cornflour
5. put the lard in the saucepan
6. toast the water
7. serve chilled

Yum.

Yum, indeed! I think I'll whip some up right now!!!

Seriously, we need to have a Random Recipe Generator Challenge in which participants each actually cook and eat a meal created from the generator.

posted by taz 13 January | 00:23

Yeah, that sounds great. *starts pouring water into toaster*

posted by pompomtom 13 January | 00:58

damn, I've gotta go to bed, but I'm still waiting for the water to brown!

posted by kch 13 January | 01:31

(I was sucked in once again for *just one more*):
Spicy Rice Cakes
Serves 3
You will need:

* 20g rice
* 60ml tomato ketchup
* 130g pickle
* 80ml water
* 20g chocolate

Instructions:

1. fry the water
2. grind the water
3. heat the water in the saucepan
4. fry the tomato ketchup
5. fry the tomato ketchup
6. flip the tomato ketchup
7. fold in the water
8. flambe the water
9. grill the rice
10. stir-fry the chocolate
11. sift the pickle
12. serve chilled

Yum.

posted by kch 13 January | 01:35

Grilled Cod Liver Oil
Serves 2
You will need:

* 20ml cod liver oil
* 30ml exotic sauce
* 40g port

Instructions:

1. defrost the cod liver oil
2. bring the cod liver oil to the boil
3. sautee the cod liver oil
4. rinse the exotic sauce
5. fry the exotic sauce
6. put the port in the saucepan
7. throw it all away

posted by taz 13 January | 01:49

Oh, my. I would also like to thank you, also makes me laugh out loud, at length, building up to insane cackling. First haha of 2010 AFAI can remember.

posted by Meatbomb 13 January | 02:06

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