CALM BLUE OCEAN CALM BLUE OCEAN

I have a bit of Scrooginess this Christmas day. My Mom gave me a dress- that fit her. Seriously, she knows I'm not a petite XS. Back it goes to her closet.

Passive! Aggressive! Gifts!

What kind of gift would a pet get you anyway?

"Here's a dead bird, cause you can't hunt for *shit*."

Oh gods, that sounds horrendous, Joe Beese.

We spent the morning with our child, then met two friends for brunch (kid had a bit of a tantrum, but to be fair, the serving staff took fucking forever in a half-empty restaurant). Now we are back at home just the three of us, me buzzing on bloody maries. mmmmm. Very chill and relaxed. So no scrooginess here, but I do sympathise.

I'm trying to figure out where to go this afternoon, so when I stop by my landlord's place I can say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't stay, I'm on my way to 'x'." They can tell if I'm home or not, so having an actual 'x' to go to is imperative. It's all of 29F(about -1C), with wind chill dropping that into the negative double digits, so I can't even escape via hiking.

Maybe I can go to the convenience store and keep the clerk company. For three hours or so.

Right.

*really, really hates the holidays.*

I generally like Christmas but we decided to spend it at my dad's. The problem? Step-mom is at work so presents aren't going to be opened until she gets home. But I think what really gets me is that last year i had to run out at the last minute and buy stocking stuffers because my dad decided he wanted to do that. So this year i buy some and i get up here and he decided "i didn't feel like doing it this year." gee thanks dad.

Only odd one-off gift I got was a 3"x3" potholder (said to be made by nieces) that I think was a gag gift from sister.

Probably pre-emptive. Assuming my stocking was going to still be up, I'd planned to introduce my cousins four year old to my 'torment sister' theme by having him help me to pour a small box of thumbtacks into her stocking (which was also absent this year, along with cousins). I guess with us all over 40 the stocking row had filled up and we three got bumped for the under 30s. Oh well; it is the thought that counts. :)

faineant, can you go to the movies? Would at least get you out of the cold.

Wake the baby! Wake the baby!!!

Appreciate the thought occhiblu, thanks.

I can't, unfortunately, go to the movies (or out to eat), due to severe allergies (corn among them). I usually plan better than this, but denial got in the way this year.

I'll live...I've just decided to be cranky about it this (coming)year. :) Thanks again, though.

Cranky's ok. :-)

I keep disappearing into my room to "check a recipe" so my two lovebird guests can be lovebirdish. Ew.

I didn't get any presents this year. I just gave donations to charities I thought people would like in their name. The missus made/bought all the "from us" presents.

Really, I didn't miss it.

I used to like Christmas a lot. But this is my third year in a row spending it quite, quite alone, so your Christmas doesn't sound too bad to me Joe Beese. But you can make it; it's just a few more hours.

That sounds horrific. Surprisingly, this year wasn't as bad as past Christmases have been, aside from my mother's harping on my brother and I about not being as religious and my dad making snarky comments about my mother every chance he got. I can't believe how awesome it is that I was able to get in my car AND GO HOME AND BE ALONG AND AWAY FROM EVERYONE.

I forced myself to be mature and happy today. I dislike that my in-laws insist on exchanging presents and all of the expense and pressure that comes with it. On the way to their house I started stewing and thinking of the waste and the immaturity of it all. I am self-righteous and pissy on the drive over but manage to pull myself together. I was pissed again when we were put on the spot and invited over for New Year's Day.

I don't care about receiving Christmas presents because I indulge year round. I would rather my in-laws save their money, or donate it to charity, or at least set a very small limit. I swear I'm laying down the law next year with a limit.

Two days before Christmas I was informed that they got my dog a present. (Why? Please don't.) Last night at midnight, in a panic because I forgot to buy something for their dog, I made homemade dog biscuits.

We're really just barely doing Christmas this year, the first one without my dad. My niece Marie is pretty permanently living with her mom and being estranged from us. With the bankruptcy finances were too disrupted and with trying to get apartments rented there just wasn't time for any sort of real prep even if we had the inclination, so no tree or anything like that. We just had some presents that came from a secret Santa and my nephew.

The main thing we're "getting" for Christmas is a new kitchen floor and dishwasher and I'm also installing the washing machine tomorrow (the new dryer will have to wait). I wonder if we can sneak in a new range using the clunkers program in 2010.

It's just nuts the debt overhang poverty that my mom has been living in thanks to my dad. It wouldn't have taken much work to get his "office" turned back into an apartment for an extra $500 a month or even more, so there was really no excuse for them living from (her) paycheck to (her) paycheck. We'll be bitter for a long time about that, but he's clearly incapable of understanding his part in this anymore, so what's the point?

Anyway, the least amount of production possible is what we can handle.

Joe Beese, how torturous. For some reason Dec 25 always seems like such a long day. I'm always happy to be home, wearing sweats & watching what I want on TV & not being obligated to entertain. The cats & dogs are much lower maintenance than people!

A co-worker of mine has parents-in-law who own an RV, and drop in on my co-worker and her family. Sure, they could stay in the RV in front of the house for a few days, but they're looming out there, with grandchildren inside the house.

The only reason there's a surplus of food here is because my in-laws like to cook, so I can't fault them with that. Joe B. and others - I hope you find some moment of amusing absurdity, laughable irony or something that makes you smile.

Merry 2nd day of xmas Joe. The 1st one is for familial obligations. The 2nd one you can have an xmas with your SO or friends.

If I start, I won't stop. There have been a few redeeming things about this December 25th: nice dinner with my sister, a lot of happy housepets, limited parental interaction, an upcoming scrabble date, nice emails from friends, but MAN... I sometimes wonder if I'm just wired to not like whatever happens, no matter how unbad it is.

I am beginning to think this whole Christmas thing is doing more harm than good in some families and among some friends.

Christmas is the most emotionally draining time for me in any given year. This year I really couldn't have handled the passive-agressive family crap so my blessing has been this amazing cabin that I've managed to escape to.

Oh man, Joe Beese, I'm so sorry.

This was a weird Christmas for me. Usually I hate it, but this year I was kinda in the holiday cheer. Then my partner got a bad cold, had fights with his family, and I've been playing counselor/nurse for the post week or so. All of this would have been fine overall, but he's usually the cheerful one, and this year he decided to out-grinch any grinch I've ever done. We got an invite to a dinner with some friends of mine. "Oh god, I hate this forced socialization! You can go, just leave me in my misery!" I suggested we go see a movie instead. "I don't want to spend a miserable day in the dark with a bunch of other miserable people who don't have anywhere to go!" These are usually my lines!

Then I called my mom, and she was having a miserable holiday, lots of family issues between her, her brother, and her dad. And to put this in perspective, they're all, like, well, MATURE in age . . . my grandfather's in his nineties, my mom's in her sixties . . . but the drama was straight out of the rebellious adolescence playbook, and *I* was the sane listening ear. Then a friend called me and told me he hopes he dies before he reaches forty. WTF?

So in an effort to get my mind of off everything while my partner slept off his cold, I rented the Watchmen. Never read the comic, just heard good things about the movie. Holy crap, what an awfully depressing film, just the thing I needed to finally tip my barely-hanging-on holiday cheer over into the abyss.

But reading this thread, it sounds like I got off rather light -- no obligatory dinners, no passive-aggressive relatives, etc. Guess I should be counting my blessings!

BTW, for what it's worth, my partner and I bought a tiny artificial tree this year. First one we've had in nearly the ten years we've been together. We got these red LED lights to decorate it. The lights are so inappropriately large and phallic -- each looks like an angry red tree-penis. The whole effect is absolutely demonic.

The bright side is that the Grinchiness is far more fun and amusing to read than the Jolliness. And where else can one find angry red tree penises?

I think I was lucky this year with how I spent my Christmas. Despite the flood, I had a great Christmas Eve dinner with friends.

The drive home was a bit fraught. I missed a turn, I got lost in the City and ended up going over a bridge and found myself south of the river (I needed to be driving north east) on this route headed south with no way to turn off heading towards Elephant & Castle, which is a part of London that no-one in their right mind would ever go. So at a set of lights I did an illegal U-turn, and 2 minutes later saw the blue lights behind me. Thanks CCTV.

I explained I was lost, I couldn't find a way to get off this route I was on, and that the only reason I did a U-turn was because there was no other traffic on the road, and that I would never have done it otherwise. (So few people live in the City of London and the business districts that there's virtually no traffic outside office hours.) They breathalysed me (obviously negative) and then told me which way to go to get back to where I needed to be going.

Yesterday I had lunch with friends, all of us by ourselves for various reasons. We ate far too much and laughed a lot, and it was good.

I came home, made my Ohio phone calls and watched Grey Gardens (the Drew Barrymore one, which I'd seen before in the States, but still excellent on second viewing) and then went to bed.

Despite all the upset with the flood and my ruined flat, the only time I cried this weekend was yesterday, talking to George's sister about him. Christmas Day was his birthday. I still miss him so much and I know we would've had a really good life together.

But I have more than most people in this world, and for that I am very grateful and lucky.

So sorry to hear y'all's tales of woe, and glad you have a place to relieve the grouchy-grinchy feeling. I sympathize.

My husband was so sweet and patient at my family's Christmas gathering, and now I'm preparing to be so sweet and patient at his family's: we'll see them this weekend, and I'm a little anxious.

I opted out of the holiday gift exchange, but there was some fuss about it, and I fear that they will have bought me gifts anyway. Their gift exchange, while obviously traditional and joyful for them, is so different from my own sensibilities that I can't enjoy it: as Joe Beese describes, it's prolonged, and entirely storebought. (There is, however, no prohibition on noise.) All I can do is sit thinking about all the factories in China churning out this stuff, stuff, stuff.

I did make them my traditional little gifts: handmade, homemade, and consumable. If despite my clear choice to opt out, they shower me with trinkets, I will remember to be thankful and try not to feel either guilty (at the nonreciprocal aspect) or cross (that they won't allow me to opt out). If they do not buy me gifts, I will be purely and blessedly relieved, and I'll find it easier to relax with them in the future.

It's an hour-long pageant of gift giving.

Oh, it's only an hour? LUCKY.

Last Christmas, the gift-exchange took about two hours of solid unwrapping. We had to wait until mid-day for the arrival of the last two family members. My MIL expressed her displeasure over the delay by chanting "WE WANT PRESENTS!" for long stretches of time (and encouraging her granddaughter to do the same), and by picking up gifts, turning them over, shaking them, sniffing them, and speculating aloud about what they might be before hurling them back on the pile. I know she gets very excited about Christmas, but it was quite exhausting.