I'm wondering how much of this is sublimated attraction, although it feels much different than a crush.

In my own experience (though surely the experience will differ dramatically from person to person), those are two different things, satisfying two different needs.

Indeed, upon reading this, I immediately thought of M., my friend and longtime barber. One day when she was cutting my hair, I remarked that this was as close as most people get to experiencing the grooming rituals that other primates indulge in. She agreed, and spent an extra few minutes just smoothing and caressing my hair. We both found it very soothing --- me more than her, I'm sure. After that, any day when neither of us was in a hurry, she would start and finish my haircut with a spare minute or two devoted to stroking my hair.

It was very satisfying, though utterly non-sexual. I adore her, but (though I am occasionally attracted to women) I am not remotely attracted to her sexually. I suspect, in fact, that's part of the reason it is so satisfying: it's close contact with no sexual component. It's purely for its own sake.

Obviously, the same kind of touch from a sexually attractive person is pleasurable, but for me, it's pleasurable in a completely different way. M. stroking my hair is different from a crush stroking my hair, and really different from my partner stroking my hair.

But I know what you mean about touch-hunger. There have been a couple of AskMe questions about fulfilling touch-hunger non-sexually, and I thought the answers were quite revealing about how differently people process and interpret the need.

Mrs. Beese quickly learned that caressing my occipital bone is a surefire way to lure me out of a sulk when we've been fighting. I now call it "the sweet spot" - like in tennis rackets.

I find this interesting too. I do find that having come out of a bad relationship, and so on...it's that sort of contact that I seem to miss the most.

I used to love getting my hair cut, and would always try to get a person who would take their time,wash my hair gently, put their hand on my shoulder, etc. I'm sure they must teach that in hairdressing school, yet it seems most hairdressers don't take the time to bestow a nurturing touch.

Nowadays, I'd rather just get the experience over with quickly because I have a sensitive scalp condition and because hair dye smells so toxic.

Sometimes I find myself hugging a reluctant, struggling cat, just to have close physical contact with another living creature.

Skin hunger goes pretty far in explaining my tendency to roll around on the ground with strangers' dogs from time to time.

These are objectively attractive people (one woman, one man, like Elsa, I am occasionally attracted to women), all of us in long term hetero relationships, and all of our actions take place in public. So it feels both safe, and slightly fraught. Sort of like we've uncovered this rare opportunity to get that human contact need met without getting censored. I conclude that everyone should folk dance more.

I can't believe I conclude that.

Ok, you could play co-ed sports as an alternate elective.

Animals are a great comfort.

*headlocks richat*

This may be the closest I have come to wierding out metachat. Yay!

Folk dance eh? FOLK DANCE?

I shall remain hungry for contact then! And, thanks for the headlock, pal. :-)

I conclude that everyone should folk dance more.

I can't believe I conclude that.

Oddly enough, I've heard that conclusion more than once! One friend heralded it as a great chance to touch women's waists and lower backs (I don't contra dance, but that's what I recall him saying --- does that sound right?) without violating the social contract.

Richat, massages might do the trick. Or go to a nicer barber, like mine!

This may be the closest I have come to wierding out metachat. Yay!

Dude, SO not weirded out. I just think different people have different appetites for touch, like for almost everything!

I'm good, mainly! I hate to appear needy. I'm mainly good, honest.

Although I absolutely hated ballet, the one thing I loved was having my sisters or mom brush my hair & put it up before a performance. I also loved resting my head on someone's lap, or on my dad's shoulder, just to be close. There is a thrill to being up against another breathing thing, sort of like EJ said. & being able to sit touching an arm or leg of mrs chewie's while we watch a movie in a theatre is one of my favorite things about going to a movie. Just to be close.

I don't think it's weird at all, rainbaby.

There are a number of women with whom I am comfortable touching more than I would the average person. This also means that I can take a sip of their coffee or wine or whatever, and they can do likewise out of my cup.

I guess that it could be considered sexual, but not crossing a certain line, although it merely feels *cozy*.

If I were truly liberated, I suppose that I would have that level of comfort with some men, also, but for now, there are all women.

I think that mammals have evolved, more than other classes, the need for physical touch, and this is an outgrowth.

I don't know what to call it but I like it.

I'm not really big on touching. My mother is the only one who is always trying to hug us and it's not nice gentle lovey hugs either. They are those squeeze you until you can't breathe hugs. The rest of the family is no touching. At all. (I remember someone on my volleyball team actually commented on it one night when my father had escorted a bunch of us into town one night during an overnight tournament and he just said 'good night' and walked off. One of the girls thought he was angry at me because he didn't give me a hug and a kiss before leaving. It wasn't anything to me.)

I remember in college when we would smoke and shotgun and I was surprisingly okay with that, even though it seemed very intimate on the surface. I had (but am working on) serious issues with nudity too. Hmm. Maybe it's all just one big ball of crazy. I just don't really like being touched or touching other people. I don't like interacting with other people in person or talking on the phone either. Internets are fine by me.

Way back in middle school, during that one summer dance class out in West Virginia, we did a lot of partner dancing and I remember how fun that was. (Of course, there was a very cute high school boy that flirted with me and filled my dance card the whole week during the nightly dances, so I'm sure that had something to do with it too.)

I've thought about trying out cuddle parties, but the mere thought of it brings me to tears. From what, I don't know really know.

My students are very touchy. They like to fist pump me, press palms, teach me various other hand gestures (my attempts at which they find hilarious), hug me, touch my arm or shoulder, even pet my hair (you should straighten your hair, miss..., said in a helpful tone). I'm not generally a touchy person, and I've had to adjust to this. I used to balk at being touched, thinking I should enforce "boundaries" (and I do, of course, keep things appropriate), but it's a fine line not to hurt their feelings. A lot are from Latin countries, like the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, and, not to stereotype, but they're very huggy/kissy. I think it's just a way of showing kinship/acceptance. I think they still sense my discomfort sometimes, though.