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16 December 2009

Public! Speaking! Nerves! More people fear death over public speaking, so logic says I am one of history's bravest men by being on a panel for an hour.
It does amaze me that people are so afraid of public speaking. But I look backward through cloudy goggles; the first time I had to give a serious presentation in college, my throat closed, my voice wavered, I stared at the floor, and my hands got moist.

Funny then that have now spent a sizable chunk of my career doing almost nothing but standing up and speaking confidently before groups of total strangers.

But I understand what it is to have a fear like that - they're not rational. I have a fear of heights which is just ridiculous, and I know it's not terribly rational (especially becuase it hits me in situations where I'm extremely safe physically), but it's powerful nonetheless.
posted by Miko 16 December | 16:59
See, but I have to die someday, and I accept that.

I do not have to give speeches.

I mean, I have to give speeches. I just have to. Or rants. Or rambles. Or long, looping, giddy sojourns into...

What was I saying? Hey, we should get another pitcher over here, and maybe some waffle fries, you think?
posted by Elsa 16 December | 17:14
Man, panel talks should have waffle fires.
posted by The Whelk 16 December | 17:15
There's a grad student in my lab who proclaims that she'd rather choke on her own vomit and die than ever speak in public. I was never like that when I was at her stage but I am amazed at how comfortable I am at just walking up on stage and speaking in front of 700 people.

Most fears are just in our heads.
posted by special-k 16 December | 17:15
waffle fires would smell good from a distance. Nah, I'd rather have waffle fries. Or even whuffle fries.
posted by special-k 16 December | 17:16
I think fewer people would fear public speaking if they were promised waffle fries.
posted by Elsa 16 December | 17:21
I like waffle fries, but I'd like them a whole lot more if they were waffles cut to look like fries, rather than fries cut to look like waffles.
posted by Atom Eyes 16 December | 17:24
I like waffle fries okay, but I would like them a lot better if I could stop thinking about the throat-clogging vomit of special-k's grad student.
posted by Elsa 16 December | 18:09
Public speaking is no problemo here, I have massive FAIL when it comes to small talk, though. I hate filling up empty space with tentative conversational offers.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 December | 18:16
Izzat so, LT?

. . .

*whistles*

. . .

Did you catch Dancing with the Stars last night?
posted by Atom Eyes 16 December | 18:23
The word "afraid" does not even come close to my relationship with public speaking. If you imagine that I'm Shelly Duval and public speaking is Jack Nicholson with a fireman's axe, you come close to how I feel about giving presentations. I get sick to my stomach, sweat rolls off me, I forget every single thing that I know, I lose the ability to tell time and I can't remember anything that gets said either by me or other people. I'm like in some sort of fugue state. Basically, if I don't throw up, pass out or run crying from the room in terror, I consider it a successful presentation.

I don't know how many of the damn things that I had to do in grad school but the last one was just as bad as the first. Everyone said, "Oh you'll get the hang of it" but it never got any better.

Oddly enough, I can talk to small groups just fine. I led two tour groups of twenty or so and talked for two hours last weekend without the slightest anxiety. But put me in front of a whiteboard and a room full of people and I'm a mess.
posted by octothorpe 16 December | 18:52
I hate public speaking. I'm quite bad at it and pretty much have to have a nice big podium because if I have to do that 'stand in front of the class and read your summer report to us' bullshit, my hands shake badly enough that it rattles the paper. Plus, I seem to get this weird thing where I won't be able to read my handwriting or typed notes, so I have to blow them up to something like size 24 so I can see them super clearly. I have to write down everything, including jokes and pauses to breathe and whatnot.

Seriously, if I could go the rest of my life without having to do any sort of public speaking, I would. For some reason, the radio dj gig didn't bother me. I think it was cause I was all alone.
posted by sperose 16 December | 18:55
What octothorpe said; it goes beyond mere fear. But I have the other SAD, which, I think, explains it.
posted by deborah 16 December | 19:55
It's funny how we relate to groups of different sizes. I am not a shy person- I can talk to almost anyone and really enjoy it. Friend, stranger, does not matter, I can talk to you and we'll probably have a great time.

Yet, put me in a room with twenty people, even if I know them all REALLY well, and I'll clam up and just watch. I'm a total wallflower at parties and other gatherings because I just can't "connect" with more than a few people at once.

I can do public speaking because it feels like talking to a wall- I don't have to relate to anybody, I just say what I have to say, as I memorized it. It's like a recital. I'm broadcasting, not interacting. This does not make me a dynamic speaker, but luckily I never really have to do this. Occasionally I have to speak up at meetings at work, but more often I just wait and talk to people individually afterwards.
posted by BoringPostcards 16 December | 21:28
I can do public speaking because it feels like talking to a wall- I don't have to relate to anybody, I just say what I have to say, as I memorized it.

This actually makes perfect sense to me, and articulates my own issues with public speaking: I find it hard to stick to the notes, because I am so eager to relate to the people. I go off-script, I speed up and smile, I riff and ad-lib.

It takes all my will to keep on-target and on my scheduled pace. I can do it, but it doesn't feel right to me.
posted by Elsa 16 December | 21:41
I *love* public speaking. It's an opportunity to perform. Everyone is focused on what I'm saying, yay!

And I am so not that person in regular, social, life. I am the quiet observer, who, when attempting to make small talk with people, babbles nervously about crap.

I suspect that I like public speaking because I can be prepared. And people tell me I'm an excellent public speaker, which reinforces the whole thing.
posted by gaspode 16 December | 21:45
I'm actually pretty good at small talk and comfortable at parties and chatting with random people. It's just the very specific situation of standing in front of a classroom of people that freaks me out. My wife is the opposite, she taught college classes for years but hates parties.
posted by octothorpe 16 December | 22:29
Gaspode and I may have been separated at birth...I too, am a observer/nervous babbler when it comes to small talk, but I *love* public speaking.

In spite of never having performed in my early life, my unassuming exterior apparently houses the heart of a ham. I've no idea where it came from, but it is a great deal of fun nonetheless.

posted by faineant 16 December | 22:41
Excellent perspectives: BP and gaspode expressed very well what feels easy about public speaking - preparation, not having to fully improvise everything as you do in small talk, etc.
posted by Miko 16 December | 22:44
Miko, I think you're right.

The preparation part is huge, for me; not memorization, but being both comfortable with the subject and with saying, "I don't know, but I'll find out for you."

The other component that helps me is the realization that the audience doesn't know which part(s) of the presentation I forgot to say. If I missed something important, either someone will ask about it or I can simply tack it onto a related question with "while we're discussing x..."

It would be an interesting experiment to prepare for a social engagement using a similar approach as for a presentation. I might even learn not to babble :-)

posted by faineant 16 December | 23:18
Count me in as one who is very good at -- and has little fear of -- public speaking and is horrible at small talk.
posted by jason's_planet 17 December | 00:17
I think it's the difference between talking about something and talking about nothing.

My geek is showing here, but I'm put in mind of the Star Trek: TNG episode where Data has memorized usless trivia to use for small talk, and the other crew members shove him at the other non stop talker at a party.
posted by lysdexic 17 December | 07:35
Yup - public speaking fazes me not at all, but put me in a room with a few people and ask me to start a conversation and I completely freeze up. Friends, strangers, whatever, I got nothin to say. Put me behind a podium, though and I'll never shut up.
posted by dg 17 December | 20:02
Circle the Cat || GRAAAAAR

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