Doesn't Risk sort of take place in some alternate universe where nukes don't exist?

I don't ask for much from a film adaptation of Battleship. But if they don't have a character say "You sank my battleship!", there's going to be trouble.

For the sake of verisimilitude, the movie should include my 19-year-old brother trying to convince 9-year-old me how fun the game is, and his utter glee (and my held-back tears) when he whips my ass once again.

True story, pupps: my brother and I grew up playing Risk, and are VERY competitive. When his daughter was 13, we taught her to play, and she beat us BOTH on her second game. It was totally legit, too.

Now I worry she's going to grow up and become a military general or something.

"Ukraine is game to you?"

No way, I made a joke to this effect the other day...Now I'm gonna hafta* take my pals out for coffee again and go Guess what?

* any reason for hitting that café with the dangerously delish brownies again man

"she beat us BOTH on her second game"

Now the NSA knows.

Wow - I never thought I'd say this, but basing movies on video games now seems like the work of an auteur.

Here's What You Can Look Forward To At The Multiplex Next Summer!:

Operation - Tom Cruise is Jake Bard, a man held together by bailing wire and a fierce pursuit of Justice.

When a meeting to disarm a terrorist goes horribly wrong, Jake wakes up to find himself stretched out on a table with tiny bombs strapped to his intestines.

Michael Caine is Robbie Gint, a former star surgeon who's now a hopeless alcoholic looking for a fresh start. His hands still shake from tremors, but he's the only one Jake's got.

Candyland: Cuteness Reigns : Reese Witherspoon is Sandra Blunt, an overworked type-A executive with no time for her subordinates or her husband. When the Deal of a Lifetime falls apart from getting into the wrong taxi, Sandra considers suicide.

But her fateful jump from the Newmark Tower doesn't land her in the Afterlife, but in....Candyland. Will a Manhattan power broker at the end of her rope be able to survive in a world where CUTENESS REIGNS?

World War 0.1? Viral warfare using naught but cannon and musket? 50 armies crossing from Iceland to Greenland?

And I thought Hollywood hit its ultimate low when they made a movie based on Dodgeball.

Really, except for some of the epics based on older novels, I haven't seen anything even remotely interesting at the movies in years.

Years, I tell ya.