MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and
chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.
29 October 2009
Add me to the list Well, count me among the other good folks who are unemployed. I'm out as of the end of the day. At least everyone here has provided me with good examples of how to make it through. Thanks.
My sincere condolences. You sound like you're mentally prepared to confront this setback - so I'm betting on you.
And FWIW, if I hadn't been fired from my last job, I wouldn't have the better one I've got now. So the "one door closes, another one opens" thing isn't just something people say. Best of luck to you.
My advice, based on real-world experience over the last year or so:
1. Hang in there. You're not alone. It's not personal. It WILL end.
2. Make some plans - like a Plan A, B, and C, where C is worst-case scenario. Make sure there are deadlines in your plan for when you'll change strategies or make decisions.
For instance, when I got the word my job was ending, Plan A was "stay put here, job search locally for another job." It took seven months, but I did find another job. Plan B was "if nothing arises locally by X date, look for jobs in farther-away areas where I could still manage to live but would have to relocate" Plan C was "if nothing at all by X date, move in with a friend, find whatever part-time work I could if any, and reduce expenses to as close to zero as possible while waiting to land another job." I didn't want to have to do C, but would have if it came to that. Having a plan gives you a feeling of control.
3. Put in some time every day doing something to move your job search forward. It doesn't always have to be trolling job listings and sending resumes, though; it can also be setting up informational interviews, teaching yourself a new skill, or reading about a job function area you want to get better at.
4. Send a broadcast email to everyone in your network - and define this widely - saying that you're in the job market and describing what you're looking for, what you'd be willing to do, and what geographic region you'd like to be in. I did this and it was really fantastic. It did generate some leads and new networking - none of those happened to lead to a job, but it was still worthwhile, and did lead to some other helpful developments as well as a lot of friendly, supportive emails. Whatever improves your odds is worth doing. People are everywhere and they hear things - you want to remind them to think of you when they hear them, and relay anything they hear back to you.
5. Don't worry ALL the time. Fear and stress can take over, but they're maladaptive - you can't do other things well when you're freaked out, and now is when you NEED to do them well. Try to do whatever it takes to contain your stress. That might mean setting aside time each day to worry - or not having to worry, because you've put in your 4 hours or whatever in a focused job search activity. It might mean yoga or running or whatever else. Do find a way to draw the line between 'relieving stress' and 'depressive avoidance activity that is not making me feel better'.
Good luck, mightshould! Hang in there. I know luck will come your way in time, and hope it's a short wait.
Aw, that's too bad.
I am sure you'll find something soon like many of the other Mechazens have already done.
It's a good time of year to perfect your fondue recipe in the meantime!
2. Remember it is not a reflection of you or your abilities in this world or in the job market.
3. Start visualizing ways of giving back to your community with this newfound free time. Create networks with people whose values align with yours.
4. You are a leader, not a follower, and have a chance right now to become a mentor for someone who's in your same situation but feeling it ten million times harder than you may be now.
5. Rock out with your cock out at every opportunity. Your revolution will not be televised.
Agreeing with the make multiple plans idea Miko gave. For me, plan C was ride out the recession by going back to school. I ended up having no luck finding work since I was in IT which is pretty brutal now, and since I'd been promoted internally twice well beyond what anyone without a BA could do. All I qualified for paid less than unemployment. I'm also in Buffalo, though, which is bad economy x 100.
(and hey, I just got an A on my Modern American Novel midterm!)
Another heartfelt sorry. It WILL get better, one way or another. I too lost a job unexpectedly back in 1998 after moving cross country and leaving behind everything. The new job lasted all of 3 months before it shut down. I questioned myself - why did I leave a job that I had and loved after 11 years to do THIS? Fast forward 11 years later and I am so glad that twisted path led me to where I am. You have the support of many...
And wheee! now that I've had a couple of glasses of wine (1 glass usually puts me to sleep) a list of good things about being free!
1. I don't have to worry about taking time off without pay for my Mom's surgery next week - I'm already off without pay!
2. I don't ever have to see my boss again - we have 140k in the office checking account and he wasn't willing to share any of it with me when I earned half of it! asshole.
2. I can go visit my brother at thanksgiving - they'll pay for the plane ticket.
3. It's the first paid vacation I've ever had. Before when I took time off for anything from doc apt't to holidays, it was without pay. Now, I get paid.
4. this is looking good, or at least it is tonight. And, I'll make a plan tomorrow.
I've so far managed to avoid that kind of thing... this time around. I was laid off 4 times in the early 90s, though, so I've faced unemployment. You will get by, somehow, perhaps in a way that will totally change you. In a year's time you'll be looking back at this time in your life as a character-builder.
And FWIW, if I hadn't been fired from my last job, I wouldn't have the better one I've got now. So the "one door closes, another one opens" thing isn't just something people say. Best of luck to you.