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06 October 2009

Exactly how I feel, only at 40. And he at least found someone who loved him enough (and who he could love back) to marry/live with him. And enough money to be comfortable.
posted by Melismata 06 October | 12:57
Hm. I like the expression of living in the moment. Knowing always that "this too shall pass". But it's hard to plod on everyday, perhaps in a rocky relationship, perhaps in a boring job, perhaps just unhappy.

Melismata, sometimes it's better to be alone than alone in a relationship.
posted by redvixen 06 October | 14:44
The writer strikes me more as being clinically depressed more than being just depressed about being old or getting sick.
posted by octothorpe 06 October | 15:46
I like being 50+ in terms of feeling smarter, more able to cope, better perspective. Unfortunately, my body isn't coping as well. The prospect of crappy health makes it less fun.

Maybe there will be grandbabies. Grandbabies would be sweet.
posted by theora55 06 October | 15:48
For what it's worth, I like being 45 years old more than I liked any age before now. It's taken me this long to figure out how to live life and feel like I (mostly) know what I'm doing. I wouldn't go back to being 25 even if I could.
posted by octothorpe 06 October | 16:52
That sounds exactly how I feel before my morning coffee and meds. Then I play "My Generation" and play air guitar.
posted by Ardiril 06 October | 17:44
I may be a bit wee for the audience, but he kinda gets how I feel most of the time. When I was younger, I never could imagine myself being this old. I can't really visualize things too far ahead (anything over 6 months is pushing it). I wonder if that's depression related or if something else is amiss in the brain chemicals.
posted by sperose 06 October | 18:00
He needs a hobby. And maybe not just one. Try different things until something sticks. When it loses its luster, try something else.

Since I started riding my bicycle to work and on the weekends, I have something to look forward to every day. I'm challenging myself- riding in all kinds of weather, herding cars out in traffic, trying to get home in record time or trying to ride far out of my way just to get miles in. This too may pass, but for now I'm lovin' it.

Before that it was golf, which didn't stick, and camping (when my sons were in Scouts), and several other endeavors.

Just because you're growing older doesn't mean you have to stagnate. The guy in the article seems to have done just that.

(Disclaimer.... I'm not 50 yet.... I turn 47 this Friday though.)
posted by Doohickie 06 October | 18:31
I think Cary kind of skipped over the whole "I just learned I have a disease" thing. I think the advice is still good, but having one's dog die and finding out that one has a progressive, degenerating illness in a short span of time is a bit much for anyone to take.
posted by occhiblu 06 October | 19:03
One word: Corvette.
posted by qvantamon 06 October | 19:14
The problem with being in your 50s? You've have 30 years to forget all the crap bits of being in your 20s.
posted by pompomtom 06 October | 22:19
Amen, pompomtom.
posted by halonine 06 October | 22:25
He did gloss over the illness aspect.

But the thing about being 50 is the stuckness. Middle age = responsibilities, you can't just up and change things even when you feel the need for change is absolute. We have kids depending on us or parents, careers are often not in a place where we can make demands, we own houses or the houses own us.

Physically I feel great, but I'm in the midst of a career change that may be a major gamble. Kids will be grown and gone soon enough and I'd like to think that there will be someone to share my life with before I get too old to appreciate it. Everything is just sticky but with potential for better more joyful times ahead (I think).

Meditation practice and bike riding work wonders, though!

And on preview - thanks for reminding me pompomtom - there was SOME crap in that decade!
posted by readery 06 October | 22:46
If life sucks that much, give it a shake-up. It's not like 50 is old age. He's young enough to leave his bad marriage, move house, join a band or get a puppy. Don't stand there in the crap, moaning about the crap, step out of the crap.
posted by toastedbeagle 07 October | 12:29
having one's dog die and finding out that one has a progressive, degenerating illness in a short span of time is a bit much for anyone to take.

Agreed. It's not about his age so much; it's that he's scared and sad, and with good reason.
posted by tangerine 07 October | 14:09
you can feel like that at 25 too. Depression knows no age. Also Late kinda sucks.
posted by The Whelk 07 October | 19:08
Slate, I mean. However good the essay is. I'll shut up now.
posted by The Whelk 07 October | 19:09
Need some help from crafty people || Bunnycon headcount, please!