Yeah, I HATE that. I won't even make eye contact with those people.

I've seen at least one accident and many close calls where a "nice" driver held up traffic and waved on another car making a turn without making sure no other traffic was approaching. Interestingly, a driving school instructor told my class about a case where the "nice" driver was actually held responsible for an accident because his wave was deemed to imply that the street was clear the turning car.

So here's my rule: it is actually impolite to forgo your right of way (except to avoid an accident).

It's even worse when I'm on my bicycle. A car will stop at a stop sign and wave me through while the next lane over is doing the right thing and exercising their right of way.

Interestingly, a driving school instructor told my class about a case where the "nice" driver was actually held responsible for an accident because his wave was deemed to imply that the street was clear the turning car.

Yeah, I've heard similar warnings about it.

I've certainly paused to let people through (though I've stopped waving them through), but if they miss my cue, or ignore me, I figure that they're either seeing traffic that I'm missing or else just not seeing me, which is fine, and I go on my merry way. I don't see the point in getting upset about it.

Happens constantly here. I can't count how many times I've been stuck behind a car stopped at a four-way intersection while he/she and the other three cars are simultaneously waving each other on. "No, after you, I insist!" Drives me crazy.

and don't even get me started about the Pittsburgh Left

I'll also allow someone to turn into my lane if I'm stopped at a light or whatever. What I don't like are the instances where cars will stop at an intersection without a light and wave me through. This always makes me nervous, and annoyed, and I have been known to say thanks, but no thanks. I have no idea why these people stop dead in the street to let people turn onto a lane. Just go. Never yield the right of way. It's so dangerous and I always fear they will be rear ended, or I will be hit by an unsuspecting oncoming car. I have also been in a couple situations where people became upset if I didn't take them up on their offer. Last week I saw a driver have a fit because another driver didn't allow them to be nice. You can imagine what they are saying as they are throwing up their hands. They were just trying to be nice and this is the thanks they get!

I will admit, I have been that asshole on occasion. (Usually it's because I want them out of my way or something like that.)

What I fucking can't stand is when I'm trying to merge somewhere and people switch lanes or change their speed. I can't fucking time the merge properly if people switch it up on me. (PA drivers, I'm looking at you. And fuck your stop signs at the end of on ramps.)

(I know that part of my asshole-ish driving tendencies result from learning how to drive around the DC/Baltimore area, land of the Mcmissile and riding bumpers at 80+ mph.)

Also, if someone is courteous enough to let you in somewhere, the least you can do is do one of those wee waves.

I forgot where you live, but here on the East Coast with a bazillion cars on the road at any given time, yes that is the rule. People want to get where they are going as efficiently as possible, yet they also want to try to be nice. They will let someone in hoping that someone is just another basically aggressive driver just like they are and won't slow them down. When they open that door and someone steps in to slow them down more than just one car in front, then they freak. It is all too common. I let people in all the time (unless you are driving some huge SUV, sorry but my prejudice is showing) and usually when the slow person slips in, in commuter traffic, I just smile and realize that is life. Sometimes I am frantic for getting to work or something and then I get frustrated, but what can you do even then? You look for the opportunity to pass and move on. Life is short. Minimize your angst and if seems just one little hair longer. I can't always follow that advice even when I know it to be true.

If you are the slow car, don't stress yourself over being slow though. You have to do your thing. Don't make yourself frantic trying to make sure somebody else isn't upset over your slow driving. Safety trumps manners.

Those people are being nice, I think, but I think a lot of 'em are not so much nice as utilitarian--they're really trying to make things operate as easily and smoothly and efficiently for everyone as possible (some of them are the same people that get furious when folks don't, for example, yield the passing lane, or make erratic lane changes), and that includes having other drivers paying attention and being predictable (unpredictableness is my least-favorite driver quality when I'm riding my bike).

I used to wave people in a lot, but now I just drive really slow. It's good on gas, and relaxing.

To get back to the original question:
It's like the people who hold the door open for you and then say "Thank you" if you did not.

I was surprised by driving in Hawaii. Everyone waves at eachother, and, while not the most decisive of drivers, they are unfailingly courteous and forbearing.

I grew up driving the LA freeways, so I feel like I can handle anything.

I try to give other drivers a lot of space, and I might do what you see others doing, but if they do not take that space, I can't remember getting angry our grouchy with them. . .

Was this in your new burg?

Was this in your new burg?

Yes, this is in the new burg. And yes, I'm on the West Coast.

And, again, I don't have any problem with people stopping and trying to let traffic in. But the two times it happened on Friday, I was pulling out of parking lots, and I was well back (that is, not blocking any of the oncoming traffic on the main road), and there was no one behind me either time, so I wasn't holding anyone up myself. And these are both parking lots that I use a lot, so I have a general sense of the traffic flow around them, and in both cases there tend to be heavy-can't-really-break-in streams of traffic interspersed regularly (due to traffic lights) with big-empty-lanes-of-no-traffic-at-all.

So I'm not buying the utilitarian argument in these cases. It just seemed like the drivers were total control freaks who needed to dictate that I TURNED *NOW*, not thirty seconds from now when the traffic behind them thinned out and I could see both lanes easily and therefore wouldn't hold up traffic even more as I carefully nosed out and frantically spun the steering wheel to the right so as not to corner into the left lane and the potential traffic that I couldn't see there.

I don't know. It's just annoying because I *am* paying attention in those cases, I'm just paying attention to the forest ("When does this stream of traffic clear up? Oh, yes, all the way back there, ok, I'll wait.") rather than the individual trees ("Are you going to let me in? Are *you* going to let me in? How 'bout you? No? OK, you?"), and apparently that makes some of the trees grumpy.

What I don't like are the instances where cars will stop at an intersection without a light and wave me through. This always makes me nervous, and annoyed, and I have been known to say thanks, but no thanks.

Lori, yeah, I also have been amazed at the amount of confusion caused around here by a four-way stop in which only one of the streets has stop signs. I keep seeing people on the road *without* stop signs stopping and trying to wave the stop-signed traffic through.

I was hit by a car that pulled out when somebody waved her on. Nobody was hurt, but, yeah, there's a reason there are traffic rules.

As a cyclist; I plan on a certain and consistent flow to traffic when I cross streets. I also give proper respect to the two-ton weight of machinery that is rolling along, and not always with a competent control factor guiding it.

Granted; I don't cross at intersections, especially busy 4x4 intersections due to the fact that a car may go L, R, or straight depending on the light, turn signal, or drivers last minute choice. And the fact that with intersections so busy; I might not even be seen at all. Too many variables.

Middle of a street has prety much only the linear variable. Cars can't turn right, and they are not going to stop in their tracks nor break the laws of physics by suddenly jumping a 100 meters ahead or going backwards suddenly.

I've seen the mentioned 'person stopped and waived me to turn left in front of them' accident; and they are usually pretty bad ones. I will usually foot down and turn the bike the other direction if somebody (with good intentions) changes the pattern to invite me to cross when I can see the next vehicle(s) coming on at 30/40+ mph. Good intention do not need me put me on window, road, or ditch...

I appreciate the polite effort of the singular driver that is trying to help; but it comes down to one car out of the multiple of 2, 5, 10, 15+ vehicles that I have to consider when driving/riding. The multiple is what separates being polite in a non-crowded area from perhaps causing random variables in a more crowded area.

I always give a thumbs up to the people anyway when I wave them on. Oddly enough, it is always the ~?more educated/wealthy?~ parts of town that seem to have the craziest drivers on average.

My two cents on what is meant to be a kind respectful gesture. I have 10,000 miles under me, my riding is a little different than skilled.

Well when I give someone the right of way, whether I am cycling, walking or biking, it's also a control thing. I have decided what's best for the situation as a whole, and my judgement is better than anyone else's (so I think) so if anyone has any other ideas about how stuff should go down, they are plain wrong and messing it up for everyone.

So, yeah, I get it now.

I live a few minutes from my office and the University I teach at. So my neuroses have different loci in the spheres of my daily activities rather than commuting.