So are you in a position in your life that this could happen non-disasterously?

I don't think it's ridiculous or stupid to want children. If you want a baby, you are allowed to think about having one without having to blame it on hormones.

Here's what happened.

Wed 9 September 1:30 pm: No baby-want. Hubby and I had agreed to wait awhile, save up some money, and generally get our act together. Also, we like our life as-is for now.

Wed 9 Sep 1:32 pm: Go to website looking for shower present for a friend, as I have done several times in recent months.

Wed 9 Sep 1:33 pm: Baby-want begins. It was so completely out of left field. One minute I didn't want a baby, and the next minute I did. Like flipping a switch. That's the way it happened for me, and because of the abruptness of it, I feel pretty darn justified in attributing it to hormones. Currently, I'm waiting to see if they settle down before we deviate from our previous plan. I'm only 31, so we still have time.

Also, I didn't say (and certainly didn't mean to imply) that it's ridiculous or stupid to want children. Wanting children is great. Having children is great. But I would prefer to want children because I actually want them, and not because I'm experiencing some (temporary?) chemical imbalance.

Bleh. I'm probably not making myself very clear, and I probably shouldn't have posted this. Nevermind. Sorry.

I had my one and only very late, following a great TV career and a lot of adventures. I highly recommend it, but there's no way to adequately describe how profoundly it changes everything.

I can relate to the baby-wanting feeling. Just remember ... if it's something you really want there are a LOT of ways to get there.

I don't think that somanyamys was saying it was ridiculous or stupid, TPS, just that it was incredibly sudden.

I never had that. I was "meh" about kids right up until I held my little one in my arms. Lucky that changed, huh?

If things ever suddenly change back, gaspode, you can give her to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US.

C'mon, you don't need sleep that badly.

Or money.

Or the freedom to travel.

Or...or...

oh god so alone

Kidding. Kids are awesome, if you want them.

I didn't have the baby want until I was pregnant with my first child. I wasn't very enthusiastic until then, even though I was intentionally trying to become pregnant. I had a huge case of baby wanting with my second child. I needed a second child and I was going to make it happen, and I did. I had more baby wanting when my second child was eight months old. I can't have more children but the more the merrier I say. I never thought I would think this way but big families are a beautiful thing, if you can swing it financially and emotionally, and if you desire such a thing. I got off track but those are my baby wanting thoughts. :-)

Are you sure this isn't ... for purposes of comparison ... limerence or infatuation, rather than an all-consuming hormone-driven permanent-until-satisfied "baby want"? I know I've gone through phases where this or that thing has seemed really important to me, usually something I haven't gotten yet or worry I never will.

Maybe, like a dream, it's expressing something else missing for you right now?

It happened to me too, somanyamys. You're not alone with the baby-want switch. I don't understand it either. The only way I can make sense of the all-consuming want is by assuming it must be hormones, because my decision processes don't usually move that quickly.

I had my son at 27, preceded by 2 years of baby want. It then disappeared for several years. Now he is six and I am feeling it come back. A LOT. Like I walk through Target and pick up the newborn clothes and put them on my shoulder, imagining. Maybe life will cut me some slack so I can get in baby number two. Then no more with the birthing -- ZPG for me.

I had "baby and family" want with my first boyfriend and have rarely felt it since.

I do have this weird thing to where if I'm sleeping with someone, I think, "If something happened, would I be okay with my genes mixing with this dude's if the BC fails?" and if the answer is "Yeah, that wouldn't be so bad" it's pretty cool. I've even had "I wouldn't mind being the step-mom to this guy's kid" moments for some other dudes, and that's fine, too.

But right now? I highly doubt that going online shopping for shower presents is going to make me want to have a kid. If I can barely take care of myself, what makes me think I can care for a kid? Christ, I can't even watch after a fish!

OTOH, I wouldn't mind sea monkeys.

Maybe, like a dream, it's expressing something else missing for you right now?

It could be, dhartung -- that's a really good question, and I honestly don't know. That's part of the reason we're waiting to see how things shake out.

Thanks, all, for sharing. Glad to know I'm not the only one to experience the sudden urge to procreate. :)

Not at all. My baby-want comes and goes, which is why I sort of need to make a specific decision to do it or not based on other things. The waxing and waning seems to be a natural part of life. Some things really start me thinking and wishing that I can have a child, some things make me grateful I don't - there's no right answer, and even most people who make their decisions pretty firmly have some regrets or at least unanswered questions about the road not taken, either way. Life is life. It's kinda chaotic.

I'm so scared of this. I'm 22 and at one point in my past actually convinced a long term boyfriend to get a vasectomy (and paid for half of it). I love the worry-free pregnancy-protection of my IUD so much I'm willing to put up with spotting half of the month (people whose periods went away completely on the Mirena, I officially hate you). I so very very strongly do not want children. I feel uncomfortable around children. They kind of make me nervous.

Seriously, I was swinging on a swingset in a park the other day (I'M A CHILD AT HEART OK) and these 8 year old girls said "I like your outfit!" and I just kind of shyly mumbled thank you and nodded and then I realized I reacted the same way to an innocent eight year old girl that I would to some skeevy dude all hollaring YO GIRL I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT across the street.

I don't know how to talk with them! Probably because I was a super shy and introverted child and I could never relate to children EVEN WHEN I WAS ONE MYSELF.

Not to mention I would be the worst mother ever; I have about a five second span of patience before I'm snapping out curse words and throwing my hands in the air. I can see myself losing my shit and screaming and smacking my kids like my mom did to me, and while I'm all for breaking the cycle of abuse and all that, knowing I would have to actively fight against being a crazy bitch mom makes me think I'd rather have the out-of-state trips and extra money and freetime and all that.

But what's going to happen when my ladybits go all crazy and I lose all rationality? So very scared.

*I'm still amazed at how crazy I was as a tiny child, all having anxiety attacks and hiding under tables at Girl Scout meetings. What they call shyness in grade school is what they put you on anxiety medication for once you hit puberty.

if I'm sleeping with someone, I think, "If something happened, would I be okay with my genes mixing with this dude's if the BC fails?"

Hmm, that's what I ask myself before sleeping with someone. If the answer is no, I don't do it.

Which is probably why...oh, never mind.