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15 September 2009

What would you do? So, I got an unmarked CD-R in the mail today. [More:]It's addressed to my formal name (I am listed in the phone book) and it arrived in a slim case, wrapped in an inside-out priority mail envelope sealed up with tape. Postmark says it came from Las Vegas (there's a full name and return address on it, from Las Vegas). I don't recognize the name (it's an unusual name) and don't know anyone living in Las Vegas, although Guy's parents have a place near Lake Tahoe.

Google search of the unusual name (it's a woman's name) turns up a woman who (along with her sister) makes recycled objects into jewelry in Atlanta (I am unfamiliar with them and have never lived in Atlanta or bought anything from them as far as I remember), although Guy did once live in Atlanta. It also turns up the back-up singer for a soul singer named Shawn Mullins, who I had never heard of until I ran the Google search.

But, see, Guy doesn't call me by my formal name. Never has. Not in 20 years.

Google maps can't find the address (pretend it's "12 Integrity Avenue"); instead it offers "12 Integrity Crest" in Henderson (totally different zip code) or 10 Intrigue Avenue in the zip code listed on the return address (that 10 Intrigue Ave. also turns up several condos for sale).

So, what would you do with the CDR?
Play it. I'm a nosy fucker.
posted by sperose 15 September | 12:59
I'd take it to the library and open it there, but wouldn't get it anywhere near my own computer.

And then I'd report back to Metachat because you've made at least one person incredibly curious.
posted by mudpuppie 15 September | 13:01
Seconding playing it on a computer not your own.

And, yeah, I hope it's either good or meaningless news for you.
posted by danf 15 September | 13:11
I'd take it to the library and open it there, but wouldn't get it anywhere near my own computer.

Of course, this could backfire if the disk contains crazy gonzo porn or something like that. (But it's not as if librarians aren't used to seeing that type of thing on a daily basis, anyway.)
posted by Atom Eyes 15 September | 13:20
I would first stick it in a regular old cd player to see if it's just a mix.
And nthing not putting it into your computer if you are not super savvy. If you go that route, make sure you disable auto play and do a full virus scan on the cd (assuming you are on windows) before even looking through directory contents.

Atom Eyes has a great point. Gonzo porn in the library = possible jail time.
posted by special-k 15 September | 13:43
Also, just because google maps cannot find it doesn't make it a fake address.

Many of my friends live in rural parts where the correct address just does not show up on google. Most party invitations end with "Please do not follow google maps directions..."
posted by special-k 15 September | 13:45
Open it with an Apple or Linux box.
posted by octothorpe 15 September | 13:47
Huh. It had never occurred to me to pop it into the CD player. I'll do that when I get home! I wasn't going to play it at work--for fear of the gonzo porn thing--and had contemplated opening it up in the nearly-abandoned laptop I use in the kitchen.

I'm not terribly surprised to find that google maps can't parse it. My office is on a major thoroughfare in Chicago and both google and the CTA trip planner don't recognize it if you put it and the cross street in as your nearest intersection.

I now have the urge to create a disk that plays anime unicorns and CocoRosie when you play it on the computer and send it to random strangers in the phone book.
posted by crush-onastick 15 September | 13:56
My office doesn't exist to the Post Office either, which is hilarious when trying to get deliveries from UPS and the like. (For some reason, when the PTB built our building, they said 'those peeps never get mail, they don't need a mailing address!' Oh how wrong they were.)
posted by sperose 15 September | 14:10
If you turn off autorun, you can look at it in your own computer.
posted by Obscure Reference 15 September | 14:30
I'd throw it away unexamined.
posted by Joe Beese 15 September | 15:18
I'm dying of suspense! When are you going to be home and post the results?
If it is a virus, what a low-tech and inefficient way to spread one. I bet it's a mixtape (don't sue me if I'm wrong).
posted by rmless2 15 September | 15:57
I'd throw it away unexamined.

But what if there were a kitten inside? You'd be a murderer.
posted by Atom Eyes 15 September | 15:58
I have no suggestions, but I am bursting with curiosity!
posted by deborah 15 September | 16:26
rmless2: I, too, am dying of suspense, but I have a board meeting tonight and won't be home for *hours* still.

it does seem a bizarre way to spread malice! But, until danf said "I hope it's either good or meaningless news for you", I hadn't really considered it might be a message for me. Which is odd, I suppose, since it was addressed to me. But I've never heard of this person! So what message could she have for me?
posted by crush-onastick 15 September | 16:27
But I've never heard of this person! So what message could she have for me?

Maybe she's from THE FUTURE, sending you a message that will SAVE MANKIND! We're counting on you, crush-onastick!

I'd throw it away unexamined.

And risk dooming us all????
posted by amyms 15 September | 19:21
Did you ever do a Mefi music swap? Maybe it's a long awaited mix.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 15 September | 19:50
*mentally favoriting TPS's comment. . .I still have one or two outstanding obligations in the realm*
posted by danf 15 September | 19:52
My fingers are crossed for the awesomeness in a kittenCD option.
posted by TrishaLynn 15 September | 20:25
Hey, maybe it's a wedding invite from a long lost relative. Something like this.
posted by marsha56 15 September | 20:41
AAArrghghg!! WHat is it?!?!
My tiny brain can't deal with the suspense anymore!
posted by rmless2 15 September | 21:32
It's definitely a kitten. I mail CD-kittens to friends all the time. Who can resist adopting a little feline furball that comes flying out of your monitor? I have no idea why the shelters haven't picked up on the trick yet.
posted by shane 15 September | 22:39
are you home yet?
posted by special-k 15 September | 23:37
the suspense!
posted by casarkos 16 September | 00:02
posted by arse_hat 16 September | 00:52
Seriously. I want to go to bed!
posted by occhiblu 16 September | 01:06
Don't make us have to get all Google stalker like and have to come to your home to find out what this is all about...
posted by arse_hat 16 September | 01:10
Still waiting...
posted by ramix 16 September | 02:57
Please tell us this is all ok . . .
posted by rainbaby 16 September | 07:33
heh shane.

posted by gaspode 16 September | 08:59
Oh no, maybe the cd contained a "The Ring" type message, something along the lines of, "Once you play this CDR, you will die in seven days". Now crush is running around desperately looking for Naomi Watts or her original, Japanese counterpart, to help her solve the mystery that will prevent her death in SEVEN DAYS.
posted by msali 16 September | 09:31
OK this is the only reason I got out of bed this morning; to find out what was on that disk.

Well not really, but. . .
posted by danf 16 September | 09:48
Hmm. Did crushy ever look at the data side of the disk, in an effort to see roughly how much data is on it?
posted by box 16 September | 10:02
A la Tron; crushy is now inside her computer, absorbed by her web-cam.
posted by buzzman 16 September | 10:36
The suspense is killing me; but the cynical side of me has my own thoughts on the matter....
posted by redvixen 16 September | 19:35
OMG this is going to turn into one of those creepypasta stories where we don't hear from crushy for a while, and then one night we will all start getting mysterious text messages, and THE CALL IS COMING FORM INSIDE THE HOUSE!! AND I'M STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!! AND THE KILLER IS REALLY YOU!! BUT WHO WAS PHONE??

Sorry, got a little wrapped up in the excitement of it all.
posted by evilcupcakes 16 September | 21:00
I am also quite relieved it wasn't one of those "so, you're probably wondering who I am and why I've contacted you" videos. You know, some very polished woman of some indeterminate not-young, but not-old age, lovely, but cold, sitting being a desk in a suit, arching an eyebrow and occasionally dragging on a cigarette while she spins a strangely believable but wildly impropable story of who Guy really is and why I have 24 hours to get out of our house and say my goodbyes to everyone I've ever loved.

Cause given a) future kittens bent on saving us from our selves, b) Ringu and the c) Lady Here to Fuck up My Life, c) is the most likely to really happen in the nonfictional world and kinda the least fun choice.
posted by crush-onastick 16 September | 22:29
Wait, so... what was on it?
posted by rhapsodie 16 September | 23:29
And and and?
posted by Specklet 17 September | 06:33
Ordinary birthday greetings for Guy, from a longlost friend--mailed super-early (so as not to be late), addressed to me (so as not to spoil the surprise). Although the name on the return address might have done it. As would the "hey, honey, look at this weird thing I got." Although he's traveling this week. So there's kismet.
posted by crush-onastick 17 September | 14:17
I am the only person in the whole world who... || The best wedding invitation you've ever seen.