MetaChat - The noisy children

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25 August 2009

The noisy children playing in the yard on the other side of my fence just managed to kick/throw/bounce a soccer ball high enough that it came over the seven-foot fence, bounced on my patio (a good five feet from the fence), and narrowly missed crushing our tomato plants or bouncing back through our screen door. Am I a bad person for pretending not to see it that it's there? At least for right now?

post by: occhiblu at: 12:42 | 25 comments

Or, I guess, for pretending not to be home when they ring the doorbell?

Sigh.

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 12:44

Three times.

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 12:45

Make that four.

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 12:45

And then bang on the window?

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 12:46

And ring the doorbell again?

And again?

OK, I'm no longer feeling like a bad person.

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 12:46

Yeah, no. You're not a bad person, occhi. Nope.

posted by Stewriffic 25 August | 12:56

Watch out for a noisy child tumbling over your fence next. If they're sure you're not home, maybe they'll try to retrieve it on their own? In any case you're not a bad person for enjoying the temporary respite. Not at all.

posted by Kangaroo 25 August | 13:03

LOL.

posted by eatdonuts 25 August | 13:18

Having lived next to a schoolyard for 9 years, I can tell you that you should have deflated the ball very quickly before they had a chance to ring that bell. Because yes, they will be in your backyard shortly (if they haven't been already).

posted by mudpuppie 25 August | 13:23

I've been watching out for them climbing over the fence, but so far they have not. It's a solid wooden fence, and their backyard is (weirdly) about four feet lower than our backyard, which makes it, from their side, a very *high* solid wooden fence with no real toe holds.

I was more worried they were going to try the front door, which actually was unlocked while they were pounding on it.

Instead, they settled for pushing the doorbell constantly for a good minute, banging some more, waiting two minutes, ringing the doorbell a few times again, and then, I hope, shuffling off.

The first day of school is Thursday, so returning the ball on Wednesday evening should be about right...?

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 13:32

I'm starting to feel very guilty about many of my childhood exploits right about now.

Sorry about those broken windows, cranky old guy who lived in the house across the street.

posted by Atom Eyes 25 August | 13:50

I would have tossed it back over and asked them to be careful about it happening again, due to the fact that their parents would be liable for damages.

Is this the first time it's happened?

posted by danf 25 August | 14:02

I am now envisioning buying a pellet gun with a silencer if I ever have a proper yard in which children lose their inflatable toys - the better to pop them from inside the house without being noticed....

posted by oreonax 25 August | 14:06

I remember being at a Red Sox game in the early 1980s when a beach ball sailed into the bullpen. Bob Stanley then grabbed a rake and then very dramatically applied the rake to the ball, and tossed it back into the stands. (Not sure why else a rake would be in the bullpen...)

What danf said is good.

posted by Melismata 25 August | 14:10

I remember being at a Red Sox game in the early 1980s when a beach ball sailed into the bullpen. Bob Stanley then grabbed a rake and then very dramatically applied the rake to the ball, and tossed it back into the stands. (Not sure why else a rake would be in the bullpen...)

Ah, the Bambino is off the hook. . .it's the Curse of the Beachball now. . .

posted by danf 25 August | 15:41

What danf said is nice. And honestly, I think it is a little mean to not give the ball back right away, particularly if it's the first time the ball has made it over the fence.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 August | 15:55

Oh, pthhh. I tossed it back over the fence.

And while it's the first time a soccer ball has landed in our yard, it's not the first item from their yard that somehow made it over into ours. Though it's usually dog toys.

posted by occhiblu 25 August | 17:12

I was more worried they were going to try the front door, which actually was unlocked while they were pounding on it.

Well, they don't sound completely terrible. But I'd keep that door locked from now on, if I were you. Yeeesh.

posted by moonshine 25 August | 19:22

Figure out a place in their yard where it's unretrievable, like maybe their roof or that big thorny rosebush, shout "Okay, you guys ready?" and then toss it into that inaccessible place.

Whoops!

Also, it's not mean at all to not be home, or to be too busy to pick up after someone else's children. Taking your time in returning the ball might teach those kids a valuable lesson about safeguarding their property and playing carefully.

posted by Hugh Janus 25 August | 19:29

Or it might give them the perfect incitement to launch a big conspiracy plan to 'get' that mean ball-thieving lady next door that involves a lot of secret meetings, elaborate plans, lists of supplies that take forever to assemble, and key personnel that have to be in place on D-Day.

At least, that's how it would have gone down on Brown Place, circa 1980.

posted by Miko 25 August | 21:50

Miko - That's also totally how it would have gone down in Cupertino, circa 1995.

posted by unsurprising 25 August | 21:56

At least, that's how it would have gone down on Brown Place, circa 1980.

Ha! Part of me was actually hoping they'd do something mildly creative.

They did end up leaving a very polite note by my door, in perfect cursive handwriting in pencil, on wide-ruled three-hole-punched notebook paper, that included not only a lot of stamps of soccer balls but also a very well-draughted diagram of my lawn, their lawn, and the fence over which they requested that I "chuck" their ball, so that I knew *where* to chuck it (I live surrounded by college students; they're the only little kids on the block, as far as I know; it was kind of charming). I suspect that the time, energy, and intelligence it took to write and deliver the note was more entertaining than it would have been to continue banging the soccer ball, loudly, against my fence, but maybe I'm projecting my own bookish tendencies on them.

posted by occhiblu 26 August | 00:16

"I live surrounded by college students; they're the only little kids on the block, as far as I know;"

At the risk of being rude; so why didn't you get out and play with them?

I loved being "surrounded by college students" when I was teaching them and we went out for a few beers but now I find they are a boring sad group.

The 3 crazy assed boys from down the street and the studious little girl from across the street are the best things round here I reckon. Most of the other folks are old and fucking tedious.

posted by arse_hat 26 August | 02:18

so why didn't you get out and play with them?

Mainly because I don't particularly like kids, especially noisy kids, and especially these particular noisy kids whose family seems to encourage them to be noisy.

Secondarily because I had not yet showered, dressed, or brushed my teeth.

Tertiarily (?) because I was trying to have a nice relaxing morning watching crappy tv before going in to work with clients.

Quad-whateverily, I'm still having the occasional panic attacks about living in a small town and feeling like I'm always on display, and the only way I'm particularly finding to combat that is to keep a distance from my immediate neighbors.

posted by occhiblu 26 August | 11:17

You're lucky it was just a ball. With my neighbor's kids in London, it was more likely to be half a brick.
At least it has made me a lot more good-tempered about giving the neighbors' kids their ball back now I'm in the US ... :-)

posted by Susurration 26 August | 12:42

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