Today, on The Bachelor Cooking Show...

So I get home after a night of celebration and decide that dinner is something that should be made.

Problem. No protein. Tomorrow is shopping day and all we have the odds and ends from other meals crowding up the fridge in their accusing little bags. What do you do with half a cucumber, seriously? And like day old chopped carrots, a bag of indifferent onions, some pre-chopped pickled peppers (why do I have that again?) and one broccoli, a lone brocol. Everything else either requires too much work for proper drunk cooking or will use the oven which will make the apartment hot which will KILL ME.

What we *do* have however, and what gives me the idea, is a tube of ginger paste.

So I made Drunk veggie medley with ginger couscous. This is what I did.


I cooked the couscous in a *ton* of butter and squirted out like half the tube of ginger into it. Salt and pepper, and some dried onion and garlic powder. Let simmer and absorb.

Chopped veggies finely. Heat up the big pot with some veggie oil and a dash of sesame oil. Heat it til smoking, throw in some almond silvers cause I wanted to finish the packet, then toss in, in order of longest cooking time to shortest cooking time so onions, peppers, brocolli, carrots and hold off on the cucumber. I throw in a little bit of the white wine I'm holding in an increasily unsteady hand to deglaze the pan a little. It's basically a stirfry uuntil I dump the ginger-y couscous into the pot with the veggies. I stir them all up on high high high heat, remove the heat, add the cucumbers, and serve.

BF put soy cause on his, but I thought it needed a little lemon. Otherwise, tasty as fuck.

And it was probobly healtier than anything I would have cooked if I actually had shit in.

Bachelor cooking suggestion. Always keep on hand:

Lots of dry spaghetti.
Many tins of Campbell's meatballs.
Tabasco sauce.

When you have nothing else to eat: boil spaghetti, splatter meatballs with Tabasco and nuke.

Those things are cheap, keep basically forever wherever, and give you a hot, filling carb and protein-laden meal in ten minutes.

You may get a bit bored after the first week. The solution to this is MOAR TABASCO.

I read this as "Cool Dunk The Whelk Way" and was confused for some time, wondering what you were going to dunk the cucumber in, WTF. Perhaps I need MOAR TABASCO.

I belong to a social club, The G&C Society. All that is a fancy way to say me and some friends go out to whatever bar has a tempting happy hour special and eat food and get smashed once a week.

Occasionally we're broke and bored with hamburgers and deep dish and decide to get drunk at home and cook. One person buys the food and everyone else buys as much beer as they can carry. Everyone cooks.

I have found that probably the easiest thing to cook absolutely sloppy drunk is tacos. And nothing tastes better drunk than tacos.

You're forgetting Breakfast Dinners, pancakes and beer and eggs and bacon bacon bacon.

I blame my last 10 pounds on a fad for that after a night of carousing.

Oh, man, I love pancakes, sausages and fried eggs for supper. That was always a Sunday night thing when I was a kid (not every Sunday night, of course, but the only time we did it was on a Sunday). The important thing is to get maple syrup on everything.

I think that's one of few meals I wouldn't have beer with, actually.

Bloody Mays or Bellinis, of course.

What do you do with half a cucumber, seriously?

The same thing you did with the first half.

Specklet - NO.

Everyone knows (especially bachelors) that the second half of a cucumber can never be used for the initial first-half purpose.

There's magic innit.

Oh, man, I love pancakes, sausages and fried eggs for supper. That was always a Sunday night thing when I was a kid (not every Sunday night, of course, but the only time we did it was on a Sunday). The important thing is to get maple syrup on everything.

I think that's one of few meals I wouldn't have beer with, actually.

≡ Click to see image ≡

That's because you've never tried Tommyknocker's Maple Nut Brown Ale.

Well by god I will just have to investigate the possibilities there because the words "maple nut brown ale", cozy as they are all gathered together in a warm huddle like that, do seem like they would only be that much cozier under a pancake and fried egg blanket.

Hey, what did you end up doing with all that pineapple?

What do you do with half a cucumber, seriously?

Make tzatziki.

(yeah, I cheated. That's the only sensible thing to do to any amount of cucumber...)

Hey, what did you end up doing with all that pineapple?

I chopped it into a mash with coconut milk and mint and made strange egg-rolls.

I was bored. Possibly stoned. They tasted vaugely south seas and not unpleasant.

I had some extra pineapple recently that I made into a relish with onion and red peppers (and sugar and vinegar and stuff). I had it on sausages and pork chops. Worked out pretty well.

(yeah, I cheated. That's the only sensible thing to do to any amount of cucumber...)

You are forgetting Cucumber Vodka, 3 liters of which is currently infusing in my huge glass jar (thank you summer rush of cheap cucumber!) which is really the only way to make Bloody Marys


(It is Cucumber vodka, tomato juice, cayenne pepper, few drops of demon juice, and a whisper of sweet paprika. Serve with Celery)

I haven't been able to find good demon juice since I left New Orleans.

Today I was dipping my potato chips in potato salad* for lunch and all I could think of was "cool dunk the whelk way!"


*I know, potato overload, but the potato salad was homemade and tasty at least

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