MetaChat - your worst argument tactic

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23 July 2009

your worst argument tactic is there anything glaring you want to change about your behavior when you get into arguments with people→[More:]
my worst: continuing a useless argument by saying "but *you're* the one continuing it."

to come up with a simplified example:
Other Party: "I like this vanilla."
Me: "That's not really vanilla you know."

Other Party suddenly hijacks rational argument into emotional territory, now I'm confused and can't let go:

Other Party: "Forget it. I don't want to fight about this."
Me: "YOU'RE the one continuing the argument by saying it's exactly the same thing. jeez."

post by: Firas at: 14:44 | 17 comments

I want to start throwing punches more. I feel like that's an unexpected move from a sober woman my age, I think I could catch a lot of people off guard.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 23 July | 15:09

Anything that falls from my lips that sounds remotely like my mother. Up to and including the guilt laden reproach [And, this is *exactly* why we can't have nice things.]

Best of all, I swear that mixed with the outraged look of incredulity at the situation is a startled look of, "If you think it sounds stupid, just imagine what the voices in my head sound like."

Good stuff.

Thankfully, I've not resorted to the, "If you don't know why I'm angry, I'm certainly not going to tell you" fuss and stomp tactic.

Yet.

posted by Frisbee Girl 23 July | 15:11

I want to win them more often.

posted by Ardiril 23 July | 15:12

I tried to think of something and then realised I don't get into arguments.

posted by deborah 23 July | 15:21

When I think of the people I admire, I realize that they are soft spoken and rarely get into petty arguments. If they're in an argument, you listen to them because they're probably arguing something damn important.

An argument requires two people, so by not arguing you are taking control of the situation and being the grown up.

So yeah, I really wish I were better at ending arguments. Thus far I've told myself I've got a drama queen roommate but that's no excuse to argue back (it only encourages him)

posted by theicono 23 July | 15:27

Absolutley loosing my shi$$ and screaming and flailing like a posessed wombat.

This is a highly non-productive thing to do, except when I feel threatened with bodily harm by strangers. I keep it in my repertoire to fend off the criminal element. It's kept me safe more than once.

posted by rainbaby 23 July | 15:37

Shutting my mouth and walking away, which, conversely, is one of the best things to do when arguing. I just tend to employ it inappropriately at times.

posted by msali 23 July | 15:43

I need to stop picking fights when I'm tired. I also need to stop making assumptions and really listen to what people are saying, then think about my response before I give it. I'm really impatient and that shows when I get into arguments. I want to be more like my father, who is a very deliberate debater (perhaps due to the "brain fuzz" symptomatic to CFS)

posted by muddgirl 23 July | 16:53

I cry. I can't help it. I cry at everything. Sad movies, angry movies, television commercials, frustration--everything. I'm just a crier.

I can't really get into arguments because I almost always will start crying and then people accuse me of trying to manipulate them and I'm like 'no, I'm still pissed. Just ignore my eyeballs.'

posted by sperose 23 July | 17:28

I mainly want to favourite TPS' comment.

I'm not sure how I suck at arguing.

posted by richat 23 July | 17:37

Getting all het up over a single sentence or phrase, overloading it with meaning and using that as a launchpad to rocket into space.

posted by lysdexic 23 July | 17:43

I do that too, lysdexic!

posted by muddgirl 23 July | 17:47

I'd like to quit suddenly removing the still-beating aorta of my enemy and showing it to him before saying, "I told you so."

posted by Lipstick Thespian 23 July | 18:56

I tend to become very flustered and frustrated, especially when the person I am arguing with is the kind who thinks that THE LOUDER THEY ARGUE THE MORE THEY WIN!!! I start to sputter and loose my train of thought easily in those situations, even if I had a perfectly sound arguement beforehand. I just find myself getting angrier and more withdrawn... eventually we get into "SHE HULK SMASH!! territory and it's game over.

Oh, and what LT said :D

posted by evilcupcakes 23 July | 21:25

I stopped arguing years ago. Except for the internets. I hate that.

posted by arse_hat 23 July | 22:30

Withering sarcasm.

posted by danf 24 July | 09:46

I do the anxiety-provoked withdrawal thing, too, msali. So I guess my worst argument tactic is allowing myself to get so anxious about the fact that I'm in an argument to engage productively in it.

(This is assuming it's a productive, necessary argument. Big ol' rage-fests, I'm happy to continue walking away from.)

posted by occhiblu 24 July | 14:17

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