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13 July 2009

When you are getting out of a depression, what do you feel? [More:]You know, what is that bundle of joyless energy that is just dying to get out of you?

I was feeling a little low for the last few days, and, yes, you guys helped, especially the ones who wished me on my birthday (awww—you guys!!!—you remembered!), not that I like you other guys any less—I swear—god promise!!!

Anyway, after I came out of the depression, I was just overcome with this feeling of happiness, not that it took its own sweet time to get there, but everything afterwards just made more sense. I realized that worrying about my impending exams was just a waste of time. I realized that things in this world, may not turn out the way I expect them to, and that’s alright. And, yeah, so what if my good friend (the girl I used to like a lot before she told me that we could only be friends, which I’ve finally come to terms with, even though it did take awhile, a long while), has more than 250 friends on her Facebook contacts page… it’s nothing to get threatened of. So, she’s famous, so what… it’s not like its Mefi, or this place, right! …right!!!

(Waits patiently in the dark... alone :)).
For me coming out of a depression cycle just feels as though the depression has broken. As if there are cracks in the haze of pain and cool air is getting in. Eventually the sadness feels as though it is very far behind me.

But for the regular everyday variety of the blues, not the clinically based depression, I could care less if I come out of it. In these "regular" kind of blues, I never loose my sense of joy or wonder in life. It's just such a wonderful experience having "normal" ups and downs. I luxuriate in my feelings/experience when I'm not clinically depressed. Actually, it's kind of funny but getting the regular "downs" is kind of an energy boost for me and then I just go off and deal with whatever it is getting me down.

/2˘
posted by MonkeyButter 13 July | 23:37
I start noticing things in the environment that I hadn't noticed before.

It's a sign that I'm not so focused on myself anymore and that the depression is lifting.
posted by jason's_planet 14 July | 00:27
If I notice that the depression has started to lift, I tend to automatically pretend to myself that it never happened. Best just not to think about it, and get on with life; try to get some shit done while there's an opportunity to do so.
posted by Rembrandt Q. Einstein 14 July | 02:06
Like jason's _planet.

2 things I noticed :

I knew I was over my depression when I was in Nepal, travelling through the very different landscape - mountains, trees, animals and so on. It felt a bit like the huge upheaval which had created this landscape - India colliding into Asia and throwing up the Himalayas - left this behind, but eventually life began again, flourished even - but in a different environment.

The other thing is that depression can be equivalent to a feedback loop in engineering terms. All those negative emotions feed back and create negative background noise that drowns everything else out. When the background noise has finally faded - just peaceful silence - that's what it felt like.
posted by plep 14 July | 10:04
I'll let you know when it happens.
posted by deborah 14 July | 11:07
I feel lighter on my feet and like I actually want to go out and do things.

When I'm depressed, my main activity is sitting and surfing the Web while I have the TV on. If I feel like that is a waste of time, then I can usually count on getting out of my funk soon after.
posted by reenum 14 July | 11:43
I've been thinking about this incident a lot over the last few days. I know the area well and this is somewhat close to home.

He had hundreds of Facebook friends and none of them saw this coming. The number of Facebook friends isn't necessarily indicative of anything, by itself.
posted by plep 14 July | 15:50
Muppets turn 40!!!! || Jesus Got a Copter!

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