MetaChat - Are you a smart, sexy spiritual goddess? Do you seek an extraordinary man?

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26 June 2009

Are you a smart, sexy spiritual goddess? Do you seek an extraordinary man? Your search is over. →[More:]

post by: jason's_planet at: 14:08 | 12 comments

What I seek is an exquisite Love Dance in which my male role is to lead (as in ballroom dancing) and my Goddess's female role is to surrender in ecstasy.

"OK, so I put my hand here, and the other one here..."

"Yes, and we start with the left foot; forward, back, side, side..."

"One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four..."

"Yes, that's it, my Goddess! Now! SURRENDER IN ECSTASY!"

posted by Juliet Banana 26 June | 14:17

She has a trim waistline. Alternatively, if her waistline is ALMOST (but not quite) trim, she is willing to trim it down for me and keep it trim for me. No exceptions.

NO FATTIES ALLOWED IN SEXUAL CELEBRATION OF THE BUDDHA NATURE

posted by Juliet Banana 26 June | 14:20

Dooooomed, I say... doooooomed!

posted by not_on_display 26 June | 14:21

OMG how could I have committed myself to TheDonF who hasn't even written an unpublished book yet?!?!

posted by Specklet 26 June | 14:41

I told you not to settle, Specklet, but would you listen to me? No, you would not. You've made your bed, now you must lie in it.

posted by essexjan 26 June | 15:02

Many people (and many religions) mistakenly view sex entirely from a material perspective. Consequently, many people with high spiritual aspirations mistakenly believe that celibacy is essential for attaining enlightenment. And for those who have relatively little interest in sex, the path of celibacy is just fine. But for intensely sexual people, celibacy is a path to emotional distress rather than joy.

. . .

So.... What do I mean by "Goddess"?

"Goddess" means a woman who is blossoming in many qualities of spiritual enlightenment AND is intensely sexual.

This is so fuckin' choice. I think I'll try this routine in the Irish bars along Roosevelt Avenue.

posted by jason's_planet 26 June | 15:03

In this message I state what I want, and I do it firmly, assertively, and quite seriously. But I am negotiable.

Now there's a manly motherfucker, right there.

He says what he wants.

Does it firmly. Assertively. Quite Seriously.

AND he's negotiable.

I can feel my ding-dong shrivel up in the presence of his superior male energies.

posted by jason's_planet 26 June | 15:08

Most of the time, when lonely people doom themselves to further loneliness, it's neither this candid nor this hilarious.

posted by Hugh Janus 26 June | 15:09

I can't decide if I should laugh or feel sorry for him. Also, I might be off the mark but this guy's whole narrative reeks of Asperger's syndrome to me. My brother is autistic and the intense single-mindedness (if not the verbosity) is very, very familiar.

posted by Luminous Phenomena 26 June | 15:33

Extremely passionate tantra master who does not ejaculate (except on rare occasions).

Christmas?

posted by Juliet Banana 26 June | 16:03

and Easter. Only.

Lunim, I agree about the Asperger's. There's a larger story here. But there is a lesson, too. Don't be so damn specific. Let life and love happen. My god! The woman of his greatest dreams is probably already right there in his life and he can't see it for all the details he puts on his wants, wants, wants.

posted by MonkeyButter 26 June | 16:14

I do not say this lightly.

Lithium might be in order. Sheesh.

posted by bunnyfire 26 June | 18:19

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