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30 May 2009
Do the movies get your profession right? Do the movies get your profession right?→[More:]
My sub fleet returnee instructors tell me that submarine movies are usually pretty laughable (they say the closest one to sub life is Down Periscope). What do the movies get right and wrong about your job?
yeah, my husband laughs at all the submarine movies. I can't watch them with him because he nitpicks them to death.
There really aren't any movies about urban planning or cartography that I'm aware of. I can't imagine zoning maps would translate to EXCITING!DRAMATIC!ACTION!
No one has ever written a program that allows you to sit at a computer and type HACK GOVERNMENT DATABASE and get back an actual hacked government database.
Not to mention that hooking up a Barbie doll to your computer and putting a bra on your head will not produce a hot Englishwoman with magical powers.
These are egregious examples, but shockingly rarely, even in this day and age, do movies and TV shows understand how software really works, even superficially.
The last movie I saw that involved TV news (and my company by name) was hilariously wrong in that there were like four people doing a job that we would have had at least twenty folks doing. (Not counting the cameramen/women)
That's usually the biggest error I see in movies about TV news. They have two people doing the job of twenty, and they make decisions on the fly that would actually take a lot longer. They usually get the technology right, since anybody in the film world probably knows their way around edit systems and whatnot.
My previous profession was housepainter and you don't see that in movies too much to you do on HGTV they always paint wrong. They paint so badly that I would have rippped the roller out of someone's hands and kicked them off the job if I saw that on a job site that I was running. You always see them rolling walls in six different directions and holding the roller frame by hand. Gah, drives me crazy.
There aren't a lot of librarians in popular media, and, when one does appear, the profession doesn't usually make up much of the plot. Like desjardins says, it's hard to find filmic gold in updating MARC records and ordering books and scheduling storytimes.
As an example, here what Hollywood thinks a remote trailer (a portable control room, usually set up for big events where the network doesn't have a bureau, or they need to be on-site) looks like:
I'm an artist and writer so, no, never, ever, ever, never, no not once, no.
However, Artist Biopic Night is a cherished tradition. Everyone has to down an entire glass of gin when It All Goes Horrible Wrong! or They Go Too Far!
Wall Street was mostly a joke. American Psycho did a great job portraying the personality of most smooth-talking banker, but it wisely avoided much mention of the actual work (for one thing, no one ever says they're "handling the Fisher account").
Remember Robin Williams as an English teacher, I think in Good Morning Vietnam? Painful and embarrassing. They are not a group of dancing monkeys here for your entertainment, teacher. Icky.
As the owner of a successful and perfectly safe theme park populated by dinosaurs recreated from fossilized DNA, I too am disappointed with how my profession is depicted in film.
for one thing, no one ever says they're "handling the Fisher account"
mullacc, do you think that's a holdover from Bewitched?
The husband in Bewitched is in advertising, right? I think Hollywood just took a phrase from one industry and applied it across the board. Investment banking is very transactional--a banker would say "I'm working on a Time Warner deal" or "I'm doing a bond offering for GE." The phrase "account" seems to me to imply some sort of ongoing engagement, like a law firm or ad agency hired on retainer (though I think that's something of a relic for advertising). Bankers almost never work on retainer.
I don't think movie people are even aware that grad students exist at all. As to what I study, then I guess they would think it's something like the lecture Tom Hanks gives at the beginning of The Da Vinci Code.
Watching medical shows cracks me up for several reasons:
1. When drawing blood, you do not hold the needle like a harpoon and stab it into the patient's arm at a 90 degree angle. Unless you want to impale their tendon, that is.
2. On House they always seem to get culture results in less than 4 hours. Even the most high-tech methods take time. Which leads us to...
3. All lab tests can be done in a matter of minutes to hours, regardless of how exotic or rare the test or disease is. Lemme tell you something, there are tests that no matter how big the lab is, you are going to have to send to another lab for testing. The Mayo clinic does a lot of testing that can only be done at the Mayo clinic lab. Send out tests take a minimum of 24hrs, and it's usually more like 2-5 days. So if your doctor thinks you have Neuromyelitis Optic or Sensorineural Autoimmune Deafness, you are going to have to wait.
The scene which brings me constant hilarity is in Medicine Man (I have no idea why I was watching it), where Sean Connery is carrying a *portable*HPLC and grinds up some sort of flora, feeds it into the machine and reads the resultant chromatogram which magically tells him which active compounds are in the plant. Heh.
The last non-library job I had was in a used record store. And that, my friends, is a profession that Hollywood mostly, more or less, by and large, insert additional qualifier, gets right.
Is that first still from Vantage Point, BP? Now I will no longer be able to say 'Sure, it was a piece of crap, but at least the remote trailer was accurate.'
A strangely accurate film about librarians. I have not turned a critical eye to any films about my current career in small-scale agriculture. Firefly did accurately depict the summer I spent as an intern on the crew of a space-pirate ship.
I've never seen a movie that shows any aspect of my specific job, but anytime they show anyone doing anything with graphics software it's always wrong. The general fallacy is that you can take an image with no apparent detail and sharpen it till the license plate number magically appears.
Museums get treated sort of close to what they are. There's often a scruffy, wacky anthropologist or professor type; or a high-strung and over-intellectual art curator; or a pedantic tour guide. They are exaggerated types but not too far from reality. Museums are generally presented as better funded and more highly organized than they actually are.
Actually I remembered one. Enemy of the state. The ornithologist who checks the camera trap finds the incriminating evidence and gets killed. Totally inaccurate. We rarely find stuff like that.
Blind people are almost never portrayed accurately in movies or anywhere else. In Places in the Heart, for example, John Malkovich sort of gets around by waving his hands in a tremor-like fashion in front of him, which doesn't happen in real life. He also is very un-sure-footed and stumbles around much more than a real blind person would, after the stated period of time.
Mrs. Beese is a social worker who has worked on hospital psychiatric ward. One thing in The Devil's Advocate made her howl with disbelief: When a patient buys time to complete a suicide attempt by barricading their door from the inside. For that very reason, patients' doors always open outwards.
ColdChef - when I was sitting in the funeral home's office, planning my dad's funeral, ALL I could think about was Six Feet Under. I was half expecting three squabbling adult siblings to come walking around the corner.
Well, you do chastise your paraprofessionals (sub-professionals) for exceeding their station on a regular basis, right?
Oh no, I meant I have sex in the library and wear fabulous clothes.
My sister works in the MA State Crime lab and I swear she should have a blog about how NOT like CSI it is, and yet it's super fascinating at the same time. She got to buy an Ultra Spermfinder!