MetaChat - I awoke with a song in my heart!

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20 May 2009

I awoke with a song in my heart! Unfortunately that song was 'Racist Grandma'

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I woke up humming this offensive parody tune from dreamland. All I can remember is "something something something RACIST GRANDMA! DEAR OLD GRANDMA! She don't know that times have changed..da da dum..something. Anyone care to fill me in?

post by: The Whelk at: 07:48 | 9 comments

She rages at the garbage can
Frail hand slams the lid
Nonna mutters about eggplant again
but I got a question for you old lady,

if buckra neber tief,
how come grandma yer?

She cries to think of colored lips
little white teeth biting
her sweetest morsel
Even just chocolate chip
Definitely macaroon

Even when They smile
Thank you ma'am, delicious
Very kind of you
She got a question for you, old lady,

If They touch her
will it rub off?

Will she be forever stained?
Racist grandma, dear old grandma,
She don't know that times have changed.

posted by Hugh Janus 20 May | 08:19

That was the song they played us at naptime in kindergarten.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 20 May | 08:30

Huh, I was thinking more "Try to cram as many horrifyingly racist words into one cheerful tune" but I like Hugh's Castigating Moral Tone.

posted by The Whelk 20 May | 10:22

I've had that frickin' Jack in the Box mini sirloin burger jingle stuck in my head for DAYS. I'm one step away from taking an ice pick to my eyeballs.

posted by mudpuppie 20 May | 10:34

Mudpuppie - please don't, if only for the fact that the phrase "mini sirloin" is one that fills the heart with glee.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 20 May | 11:04

I've got a racist grandma
She's as racist as can be
A sweet little racist grandma
And she drives me up a tree

With her "N-word" this
And her "N-word" that
Granny, that's not where it's at

With her "Wetback" here
And her "Towel head" there
Gran, you're hopeless, I declare

With her "White folks, YAY!"
And her "Other folks, NAY!"
Grandma, that's just not OK

Oh, I've got a racist Grandmaaaaaaa...
And she gets worse every year
Oh, yes
She gets worse every year
Oh, well
At least the end is near

Oh, go soak your dentures, Granny!

posted by Atom Eyes 20 May | 11:48

Racist Grandma! Racist Grandma!
We thinks blacks should know their place!
Racist Grandma! Racist Grandma!
She thinks queers come from Outer Space!

posted by The Whelk 20 May | 12:21

She calls Jose' a wetback spic!
She told Colin he's a dirty mic!

There is no race she does like.
She called my boy a greedy kike!

Racist Grandma! Racist Grandma!
Don't you know that times have changed?
Racist Grandma! Racist Grandma!
Why do other folks get you enraged?

She wouldn't pay Jan to dig a hole
cause she can't trust a filthy Pole!

He had it out, with Mr. Von Naught,
and called him a drunken Kraut!

Racist Grandma! Racist Grandma!
Will you ever change?
Racist Grand! Racist Grandma!
Your opinions are deranged!

posted by The Whelk 20 May | 12:29

She thinks! She thinks! ARGH!

posted by The Whelk 20 May | 12:31

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