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My stream of consciousness is pictures, not words.

tired sleepy since 12 hours ago time to stop working could use some red wine and red bull though the wine wouldn't help absolutely gonna pass out should say something to that cute girl at the gym current best idea so far is to compliment her haircut which doesn't sound so great

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don't need your snotty advice think i want your snotty judginess when I only mentioned it so you wouldn't feel left out? not emailing again today and tired now and running out of small circles totally out of ribbon need to go the oh and get some foam core too and dowels it's chilly this evening but it's not really advice anyway you're just being perversely mean and pretending its helpful why are you so mad anyhow ooh tikka masala!

vinegar Finnegan stretched out in linamented ligaments born from melodies from far off lands landed in my lap last week lasting for who knows how long the lesson learned the delta dawn of meetings long too long and nothing done to return back to the rented and sleep now it is later but the bookmarked brain says otherwise for sun, there is still sun, see?

dog needs out - again, why? must clean up dinner want to relax off tomorrow gotta reschedule doctor appointment hope I was wrong about why he had to cancel and poor Mrs. Hill how will she cope with losing her husband of 62 years and will that be me someday?

template medicine. We drink the things we never meant to drink, the albatross blood and the empty prion cellular decay of wasted vacules. She says that the world is lonely, but there's nothing to be had in emptying these thoughts out. Nothing to be made from the bad dreams of empty duvet covers. I pour another drink, I pour another drink and our pores reek of wasted ambition and the hollow noise of unfulfilled promises.

pill catfish talk beer whiskey bobbybluebland baglunch beer

dang how can a day be so ok then go to hell and back again with waves of grief hitting at the most unexpected times but yet joy and normality too and oh yea we know when the funeral is and will be going as a group.

I said are you going to watch that movie with me and he said only if you watch my movie with me. Underworld Rise of the Lichens oh my god oh my god.

craving veggies could you PLEASE stop talking about your wedding when will this house-buying be done already peas almost are over and I still haven't gotten the tomatoes all in why's the garlic not working will the potatoes turn green will anyone show to the denver meetup bubba you're in the way again.

Made $400 today in stock market start packing for Boston in 2 weeks Johnny Cash was a pretty cool guy for a christian wish I could find a left-handed made in USA Telecaster.

So glad to be home with wine and dinner and dog looking forward to last network tv finale of the year hope we see him meet her finally too hungry to wait for dinner maybe I'll just have some frozen peas while the others cook why am I watching Charm School again I guess I'm not so much watching it as it's on but why is it on I guess I'll have to ask the lady when she's out of the bathroom.

sick and tired of being sick and tired gonna watch quantum of solace with dinner can't wait yummy garlic dip should be having something besides fries but not really hungry and garlic dip is really yummy and i'm tired.

an hour more of sunlight, give or take a cloud or two and it's too cold to sit on the hill but if I don't go the day is a hopeless waste despite its little accomplishments. One sunset a week at most is not enough to keep a soul going and it all feels like a losing battle besides. Pleasure is a sop. Pointless, pointless, even and surely this. It will feel worse to have not done than it feels to fear that doing won't; I will find my coat and go.

mild panic. drinking some delicious coffee trying to think positive thoughts. maybe I'll walk down to the pub when this coffee shop closes in 15 minutes, have a beer or two, and make pointless banter with the rag tag clientele. Then I will get temporarily happier before heading home and feeling lost again. But then I can just give up on making more progress today and go to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be better.

Can't do this without not putting punctuation in. OMG, I am just now about to leave the office. what can't we face if we're together? So excited about vacation. So sad because nice office manager's mom died today, from cancer. Yes, I'm still going out to have a cigarette when I leave here. I have no idea how to console someone when they're grieving, because EVERYTHING you can say is so freaking trite. Want to write this weekend. Will not be sleeping Tuesday night. Packing for vacations sucks.

Punctuation is so important it's amazing that so many people especially engineers don't know how to use it. Men are weird. I love the Muppet Show. I want my viola. Why the hell can't I swim more than 5 laps or do a push up?!

Hey don't -- shit! Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! Now where's -- fuck! The fuck, calm down. Fuck, fuck, shit. There's some there, too. Oh, shit, fuck, you got it all? Fuck, that was close. Okay now easy, just squeeze it, oh, shit! Oh, shit is right, clamp it, don't let go now, get those out of, shit! Okay, now at least try to save the, fuck! Not the -- shit!

"Men are weird." Wait until you read my latest email to you. To everyone else, condolences and get well wishes may be sent to the email address listed in my profile.

My car was almost stolen last night, fuckers probably couldn't drive a stick shift so it didn't get far. Stew simmering on the stove and fresh bread in the oven even though it's too warm out for this heavy comfort food. I should ride my bike tonight. Haven't been to the gym in forever. Good Lord, dog, stop barking. Hungry, smells so good in here. New camera begging to be used. I love short denim skirts.

Somewhere words begin a new space is entered. Filling the the necessary forms clouds rain, and the apparent end comes. Begin again.

I think I'll be banned if I do this....

For the first time in my life, I can express the most outrageous and deepest held of my thoughts and feelings in the most natural and honest language uncloaked from euphemisms and weasel words, and she doesn't run screaming in terror from the room.

Upset because I want to share something funny with the one person who just hurt me.
Up too late for a weeknight, should have gone to bed hours ago when my eyes were closing, now I am just unhappy and making myself nervous.
Curry.
Bunny fur all over my navy cardigan.
I want to paint my nails for therapy but the file and polish are packed in god knows what box.
How do you nuke the contents of a computer to sell it fresh and empty? Would anyone even want to buy my old powerbook shell? Would I sell it on craigslist or on some computer site?
Why aren't the table and tv and mirror I put on craigslist selling? Too much money?
Tomorrow I might try to go to a consignment store before I do work, but should I schedule appts at more than one or just hope that one will take all my stuff? Maybe I should call around in the morning.
I still need to pay the cable bill.
I also need to fill out HR forms with my new address and tell all my credit cards etc that I am moving. Oy. I also need to call the cable company and pick a new package and a date when I want to transfer everything. I hope they let me keep my same box and that the dvr shows I taped don't disappear in the move.
I wonder who is paying for the electricity at my new place since the lights are on but I haven't transferred my billing yet.
Why am I still up? I should sleep more and stop picking at the hairs on my legs.

Time for food yet? Food? Will there be food? Food Food Time for a walk? Walk? Walk? Walk? Food? When will he come home? Food. Scratchscratchscratch Walkywalkwalk FoodFood I can't wait 'til he comes home Is it him yet? Walk Walk Walk Food There's the gate... is it him? Food. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That was Sky filling in for me, btw

I'm so pissed off that he was trying to rain on my parade I'm actually smitten for once and he's being a jealous cunt and then i was bitching and didn't even check if the other guys were doing well and i was all complainy about my petty shit when my life is going so well at the moment and the lovely gosh is having such a shit time with her friend's mum's death and i feel really bad for not having checked if she was ok earlier instead of being all blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and i'm so super excited that he called and that we have a date on saturday and i hope we kiss and I don't get shy and oh god, I'm being self absorbed again

Three people, three airports. Red shoes with white stitches, fizzwater. Who's the best person to ask? Do you know anything about it? Conflict of interest. Discreet subset of people, unclear who's involved. Banana, banana, banana, grape. And after all we're only ordinary men. Lacy fern by the window, clear unbroken blue.