"What does oodles mean?"

Asked this morning by a non-native English speaker. It is an odd word.

I ordered a martini, and the waiter asked if I wanted it "up." Well, duh, it's a martini--I'd specify if wanted it any other way. I'm pretty hip to the bar lingo, but his question took me seriously aback. I didn't understand what he meant, not because I didn't know what "up" meant, but because, like, why is he asking that?

Then he brought me a vodka martini.

The world is going to hell.

I wasn't asked this directly, but ... I lurk on on the Les Mills' forum for BodyPump, which is mostly instructors talking amongst themselves about stuff related to the class, and there was a post yesterday that read:

Anal on technique - HELP! Please HELP advice is greatly appreciated b4 i give up! I do love teaching Group fitness and BP, Obviously in non choeographed 'freestyle' classes i teach at a pace that i see most members get the move/technique b4 moving on, however iam just finished teaching my lunchtime BP class and memebers technique was really unsafe. ...(several looong unpunctuated sentences redacted) ... This 'technique' issue has got anally worse after getting qualified in pilates, i understand that i cannot get everyone to have great tecnique, but were do we draw the line between memebers coming to BP for results without the burden of getting injured or hurt in the process, pluse making it a positive fitness experience without thinking that they are doing it all bad if CRCing them on more than a few occassions for their own benefit - or...... These kinesthetic learners i know need to physically feel the right technique, sometimes with hands on approach - but how can we do this mid flow of the squat / back / lunge ...tracks?

I was like "wait...what!? This should be a fun popcorny thread with either lots o' lulz or callouts of the troll or, hopefully, both" I couldn't parse any legit meaning from the post. But nobody else was laughing, in fact there were several straight-forward non-snarky replies, so obviously it made sense to other instructors. From their answers, I finally surmised the OP meant "I'm anal retentive about my participant's technique. How can I help them or learn to not care?" A perfectly legit topic for the board, but I'm still chuckling today about technique issues getting anally worse, while at the same time impressed with maturity of the posters there. (Though, looking back at the quote, it might make more sense with the redacted bits removed.)

Then he brought me a vodka martini.

At least he didn't bring you something made of chocolate liqueur or apple schnapps or fucking ice cream that so many bars are calling "specialty martinis" these days.

/getoffmylawn

What's the strangest question you've been asked recently?

"What's the strangest question you've been asked recently?"

"How many severed human heads would it take to fill Giants Stadium?"

No one actually asked me that. It's just a question I like asking.

I guess I don't spend enough time hanging out in bars. What does it mean if the bartender asks if you want your drink "up"? Does "up" apply to all drinks or just some or just martinis?

"Up" as opposed to "rocks" or "neat".

Up is shaken with ice and strained into a chilled glass. Other drinks served either up or rocks: manhattans and sours.

"Rocks" is, of course, on ice.

"Neat" is not chilled, unstirred, unshaken, straight from the bottle to the glass. Usually used for scotches, whiskeys, and tequilas.

Thanks BOP!

"Why rats?"

Strangest question I was asked recently was: "How long has the group been together?"

No, wait, that was Billy Bob Thornton got asked that. Sorry.

"How many severed human heads would it take to fill Giants Stadium?"

There's no way to know, as they keep falling through all those holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.

I get some amusing questions asked of me on twitter. But in face-to-face life, not so many, which makes me a little bit sad. Usually I seem to do most of the asking. I am, perhaps, boring to others.

The most interesting thing I've gotten to answer or explain to a friend recently has been "what was going on in the Roman Republic in 133BC?" Hopefully the answer will have helped entice him into working with me on another game. We'll see.

I keep getting variations on "Am I crazy?" Which seems like one of those slightly hyerbolic, slightly rhetorical questions, except that it's therapy clients who are asking and I always get this sudden weird realization that others think I'm qualified to *really* answer that.

I'm not big on diagnosing clients -- I don't think it's helpful for the majority of people I see -- so I forget that clients think that I'm judging them in that way. And it's kind of ooky to think that they'd take my word for it, whatever my answer.

It's not recent, but a couple of years ago I was asked (by a girl) if I'd ever been mistaken for a female-to-male transsexual.

THAT'll put your sense of masculinity to the iron test, let me tell you.

I have a bored 15 yo and this week, an extra bored 15yo. I have learnt to block out all the strange questions. It's better that way.

*bangs head on wall*

"Does the blood splash onto your shoes ever?"

to which my answer was another question, "Why? Would that put you off?"