MetaChat - …and thanks for all the fish

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31 March 2009

…and thanks for all the fish →[More:]I’m done here. I’m sick to death of the smug, self-righteous attitude of everyone here and I'm sick of being treated as a second-class person just because I'm not one of the "cool kids". I've put up with this shit all the time I've been here, put on a brave face and smiled when I felt sick inside because of the way you've treated me, but no more.

I've wanted so much to be accepted here, but you people just make it impossible for anyone who doesn't "fit the mould" to feel comfortable being around you. You have belittled me for the last time.

I hope your stupid little Web site goes well for you, I really do - it seems to work well for those who fit in here, I guess. When I first came here, I thought I had finally found somewhere where I could be accepted for who I am, but it turns out you were all just laughing behind my back all the time. It's fucking high school all over again and I thought I had left all that pain and sadness behind. I guess I should have known better. Some people are just not destined to have friends, I guess.

To those of you who tipped me over the edge (and you know who you are), I hope your life ends up as miserable as mine. To the rest of you, I hope you really are happy here, but watch your backs, because those who claim to be your friends are talking about you behind your back. When your turn comes to be betrayed, don't say I didn't warn you.

post by: dg at: 15:31 | 38 comments

Where did this come from?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 March | 15:39

Is this satire?

posted by mullacc 31 March | 15:48

This could be directed at any website ever. It's genius.

posted by cillit bang 31 March | 15:51

Oh wait... Is it April 1 down under yet?

posted by mudpuppie 31 March | 15:53

I hope?

posted by mudpuppie 31 March | 15:54

This could be directed at any website ever.

Well, on a more US-centric website, I think "mould" would stick out.

posted by mullacc 31 March | 15:55

seconding pups. dg, you'll never leave us!

posted by gaspode 31 March | 15:55

Yeah, that Squirret post nearly pushed me over the edge, too.

posted by Atom Eyes 31 March | 15:56

Dang it, I was hoping for an first-hand account of that Kokoda Challenge thing. Oh well, I hope you don't trip or get eaten by a croc or something.

posted by danostuporstar 31 March | 15:59

Dabnabbit dg!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 March | 16:01

heh.

posted by Stewriffic 31 March | 16:02

You are a second-class person, dg, and don't you ever forget it!

I could never love a first-class person so much it makes my uncircumcised heart tremble and purr.

posted by Hugh Janus 31 March | 16:06

Metafilter: fucking high school all over again

posted by Joe Beese 31 March | 16:14

dg, you bastard! Don't ever change, I love you just the way you are.

*goes back to hyperventilating*

posted by deborah 31 March | 16:24

That totally suckered me. Totally.

*smoooooch to dg* Thanks for getting me to armor up for 4/1.

posted by Miko 31 March | 16:31

Dear god, dg, you scared the CRAP right outta me.
Like Miko, though, I thank you for giving me a heads up for tomorrow (er, today, wherever you are).

posted by msali 31 March | 16:45

You mean it's a joke? That's good!

As an aside....
Does anybody know how to get the cork and bubbles back inside a champagne bottle?

posted by chillmost 31 March | 16:58

You probably shouldn't have stuck your cork and bubbles in there in the first place.

posted by Atom Eyes 31 March | 17:07

Yeah, well, don't let the door hit yer ass on the way out.

But know you'll always be welcome here.

And Jan posts bunnies. OMG.

posted by Doohickie 31 March | 19:07

Anyone seen my jaw? I think it rolled away somewhere....

posted by redvixen 31 March | 19:40

Well, now we know what conficker does.

posted by GeckoDundee 31 March | 20:45

Here you go 'vixen. Sorry, but my cat got hold of yours and mine and ate my dinner. Might want to brush first.

posted by lysdexic 31 March | 21:05

Sorry if I gave anyone conniptions - the idea came to me last night and I just ran with it. I thought about posting it to MeTa instead, but got stage fright - people there tend to not have much of a sense of humour.

posted by dg 31 March | 21:58

Since you brought it up, people here have plenty of humor, but also have plenty of worries about stepping on toes and bending over backwards to be nice. I suspect I'm not the only one who, before figuring out it was a joke, went through a mental laundry list of things I possibly could have done to hurt you so deeply and inspire such bile.

But hey, it's all good. I'm happy to have put 2 and 2 together early on, because I seriously could have stewed over this for a while. (Most invective, sir!)

posted by mudpuppie 31 March | 22:25

I thought about posting it to MeTa instead, but got stage fright - people there tend to not have much of a sense of humour.

This is grossly unfair, dg.

Did you know that every active participant in MeTa has read the entire article about humor in Wikipedia?

It's true.

posted by jason's_planet 31 March | 22:38

Well, sure... Wikipedia is good for getting a primer on things you don't understand.

I put out my standard OMG FLAMEOUT post; I know some people really do get sick of this place sometimes and need a break, but in the end, they can't stay away from Jan's bunnies.

posted by Doohickie 31 March | 22:46

Oh... do you mind if I post that on some of the forums I frequent?

Heheh.

posted by Doohickie 31 March | 22:46

Way to make me feel bad, mudpuppie :-(

I did consider the tendency of people here to be absurdly nice and monitored the thread for any signs of angst. Once the cat was out of the bag, I figured everyone would be OK. If that hadn't happened within an hour or so, I would have 'fessed up. See, I'm not a complete arsehole ;-)

posted by dg 31 March | 22:48

monitored the thread for any signs of angst.

Damn, we all missed our opportunity for double April Fool by pretending to take it seriously...

posted by Miko 31 March | 22:59

...And here I thought we'd never hear from yer again! GOD DAMN IT!

Let the suckers stew, dg. Great work; no guilt over good japes, as I always say. Bully show, lad!

posted by Hugh Janus 31 March | 23:01

You mean he's staying around??????

posted by danf 31 March | 23:02

I get gotten every year. EVERY YEAR. And you're one to talk, mudpuppie! Three feet in a yard, feh.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 March | 23:09

I know, I know! I love the prank! I just don't like feeling bad thinking (however momentarily) that someone was so horribly hurt here. Conundrum!

I do not judge the prank, by the way. I'm just decompressing, i guess.

posted by mudpuppie 31 March | 23:35

Oh, thanks for reminding me about the 3 feet, TPS, because it proves what I told the plumber last night -- that the roots need to be augured out every two years, almost to the day.

posted by mudpuppie 31 March | 23:36

...that someone was so horribly hurt here - That's why I made some changes from my original style. I hope I succeeded.

posted by Ardiril 01 April | 06:55

See, now, I always get suckered in these sorts of things, but not this one. Because I got to the second sentence about "cool kids" and thought "Whatever, dg, you're one of the cool kids" and knew he had to be kidding. :)

posted by gaspode 01 April | 07:44

dg is awesome! as is this prank!

posted by initapplette 01 April | 09:16

Three feet in a yard, feh.

And the job as a therapeutic chicken in a chicken farm! Hee hee. As dumb as it makes me look, that one totally got me. I mean hey, it's California--anything's possible.

posted by elizard 02 April | 10:06

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