MetaChat - Go ahead

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27 March 2009

Go ahead - laugh... So our cheapo wooden toilet seat makes a creaking noise when you sit on it but the other night→[More:]it gave a nasty "crack" sound and lo - there was indeed a nice new crack at the front of the seat.

And then this morning when I got up early I totally forgot about the crack (fast asleep, still dark outside), sat down and then...

YEEEOOOOOCCH!

The friggin thing pinched me on my goddam hoohaa!!! There are a few things that will make a grown woman cry and an unexpected attack on the nethers is one of them.

My day improved considerably when Pukezilla the cat got on my desk, sat on my laptop and Linda Blair-ed all over the joint.

Anyone else having a great day?

post by: ninazer0 at: 00:34 | 18 comments

HAHAHHAHAHA owowowowow hehehehehe

posted by gomichild 27 March | 00:42

That is TERRIBLE, and I am laughing.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 27 March | 00:44

Owwwwwwwwww! And also, hah!

posted by unsurprising 27 March | 00:57

I had a similar experience at Barnes & Noble when the plastic toilet seat slid out of position and pinched the tip of my wang-dang-doodle between the seat and the porcelain.

Not an experience I care to repeat.

posted by jason's_planet 27 March | 00:59

Still, it could have been worse. There could have been splinters involved. I am resigned to an evening of hovering and a trip to the hardware tomorrow for a nice soft PLASTIC seat. And perhaps a cork for the cat.

posted by ninazer0 27 March | 01:40

I've been pinched my a toilet seat. It does hurt.

Once when I was huge and pregnant I used the porcelain toilet paper holder that was attached to the wall as leverage. I ripped it clean off the wall and took some drywall with it. Not a very bright idea.

posted by LoriFLA 27 March | 07:09

MetaChat: the friggin thing pinched me on my goddam hoohaa

Sounds even worse than zipper-caught scrotum syndrome.

posted by danostuporstar 27 March | 07:35

Two of the all-time greatest euphemisms for lady parts, both of which Metachat taught me:

- Bajingo
- Goddamn Hoohaa

posted by Lipstick Thespian 27 March | 08:57

When I read Mecha anecdotes, I sort of picture all Mechazens in similar positions, cuz you know, we're all human and shit happens blah blah blah. So this morning, before even having my first coffee, I am imagining all the Mecha hoohaas and wangdangdoodles getting pinched by toilet seats. This is going to be one hell of a Friday. heheh

posted by Ardiril 27 March | 09:02

A childhood incident during a camping trip left our family with a new piece of slang. You know those latrines, proper toilet seats that... uh... empty into a hole in the ground?

In my family, they are known as "the pinchy kind."

posted by Elsa 27 March | 09:47

Also, apparently one of the last pieces of advice my late father gave our brother was hollered from the bathroom near his sickbed, and was "Don't ever sit on a cracked toilet seat!"

Words of wisdom, Dad. Be glad you don't have a headstone; we just might make it your epitaph!

posted by Elsa 27 March | 09:50

Yikes!!

posted by halonine 27 March | 10:13

oh god. i love metachatala. what a crappy day today is, this thread made me less crappy.

posted by eatdonuts 27 March | 10:56

This is why I only ever crap behind the shrubbery.

posted by Atom Eyes 27 March | 11:14

When I was a young boy, I was shimmying up a tree branch and got 'hung up' on a rusty nail in the worst possible place.

I was also snagged on the horns of a dilemma: die right there or get Mom to help and die of embarrassment.

posted by trinity8-director 27 March | 11:34

My ..uh.. condolences to your hooha and keyboard.*

The mister was out fishing as a wee lad. He drew back his fishing pole in order to cast and, well, he didn't catch a fish. He caught his scrotum. He stayed conscious until the nurse pulled the hook out.

*Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!

posted by deborah 27 March | 15:10

shrubbery is a BAD PLACE Atom Eyes, trust the girl who once crouched down over poison ivy.

look on the bright side ninazero0 - you won't have a rash for a week.

posted by dabitch 27 March | 16:42

Yo dawg! I herd you liked cracks, so we put a crack under yo crack so we can pinch you while you pinch one off.

posted by qvantamon 27 March | 16:57

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