MetaChat - What's Your Super Power?

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24 March 2009

What's Your Super Power? →[More:]I think mine is being the inappropriate smartass. It has gotten me fired in the past, so now I go incognito as much as possible. Super powers are difficult to contain, however.

post by: trinity8-director at: 13:01 | 31 comments

Mine is facetious cynicism, which I disguise by smiling when I use my words to destroy you.

posted by essexjan 24 March | 13:22

No matter how busy I am, or what needs to be done right now, I am able to surf the Internet or play Civ IV intensely and with ultimate conviction.

posted by Meatbomb 24 March | 13:40

Sleeping. Srsly, I can catch a nap just about anywhere. And I have!

posted by sperose 24 March | 13:53

The Glory.

posted by Specklet 24 March | 13:55

Stealth hugs.

posted by BoringPostcards 24 March | 13:59

I have the supreme aggregating power able to fill all hard drives and storage media I possess and the near inability to delete anything.

posted by King of Prontopia 24 March | 14:19

I become aggressively logical in the face of dipshit coworkers who freak out over minor league bullshit.

Also, on occasion I am mildly radioactive.

posted by scody 24 March | 14:23

In person, I can do "The Silence That Speaks Volumes". Over the internet, it doesn't work so well.

posted by marsha56 24 March | 14:28

I can often understand completely where someone is coming from, and then exploit that to my advantage.

posted by Ardiril 24 March | 15:25

Spelling.

I eschew spellcheckers as a crutch for the weak.

posted by Joe Beese 24 March | 15:34

1. Perfect pitch.

2. The amazing ability to go to great lengths and creativity to avoid having to talk to people on the phone or in person, especially when it's a stranger/awkward situation, i.e. my software doesn't work and it's not my fault.

posted by Melismata 24 March | 15:40

Selective invisibility. Seriously. Unfortunately, I don't get to do the selecting. So, when I want someone to hear what I'm saying (particularly in a group), I seem to be invisible because I get ignored. On the other hand, every single inappropriate comment I make is heard far and wide and always by the wrong people. I haven't got fired for this, but I have had a couple of "conversations" with my boss about it in the past.

posted by dg 24 March | 15:55

I seem to have developed the knack for invisibility. Or, I can make people go blind; I'm not sure which.

posted by deborah 24 March | 15:59

I can reduce any decent bottle of wine to empty status.

posted by -t 24 March | 16:09

I can walk and chew gum at the same time. I don't really like gum, though.

posted by box 24 March | 16:49

I have the ability to ignore silly survey questions.

posted by mullacc 24 March | 17:08

Can't get a drywall screw into a stud even with a stud finder and level. It's not an important superpower, but it's still a superpower.

posted by plinth 24 March | 19:34

I can drop off the face of the earth and conceal myself in the mesosphere for months on end, feeding off meteoric fragments and evading all attempts at detection or communication.

posted by notquitemaryann 24 March | 20:09

Like Joe Beese, I can spell. Anything.

My real superpower, though, is the blinking neon sign I have on top of my head that says "Schizophrenic? Talk to ME!" Yes, I can find the mentally ill and draw them to me in any innocuous urban situation. If only I could then control them, I could totally beat Aquaman, at least until we got underwater.

posted by mygothlaundry 24 March | 20:59

Eventually, not now, but eventually, you will tell me a secret you haven't told anyone else.

posted by gc 24 March | 22:07

Fixing your posts "more inside" issue. That and mgl's sign. I got one of them too.

posted by arse_hat 25 March | 00:07

I'm usually the first guy a girl knows to notice they've gotten a haircut without being prompted or told. That gets you brownie points, apparently.

This thread is great. Ooh. I really like gc's.

posted by CitrusFreak12 25 March | 00:08

People like to medicate me... all the time. I get all kinds of free medication, pills, antibiotics, what have you. I was born very very fair with very dark hair (a natural goth if you will) and thus got away all the time in school with 'going home sick.' The only time when I don't get medicated is when I want something for say, calming me when flying. My quack of a primary care proclaimed I'd grow out of that fear... even though I'm 30 years old.

A former friend of mine used to have the superpower of getting free food *all the time* from everywhere, even from restaurants. She never had to pay for anything and no, she wasn't particularly pretty. It used to annoy the hell out of me with jealously.

posted by eatdonuts 25 March | 00:48

I can see the future.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 March | 00:58

Hah, that's nothing - I can predict the past.

posted by dg 25 March | 04:14

Well, the past three seconds anyway. It's kind of a goldfish superpower.

posted by dg 25 March | 04:17

I embody one of the four/five elements: Dirt is instantly attracted to me.
Gravity has a strong attraction to me, too.

posted by mightshould 25 March | 07:31

No matter how well-dressed I am, I look scruffy.

posted by gaspode 25 March | 07:48

I look dangerous. Even when I'm smiling. Especially when I'm smiling.

posted by lysdexic 25 March | 08:35

I can find a parking place anywhere, any time. It never fails.

I wish I had another power, though.

posted by danf 25 March | 22:48

I have the power to resist buying in to the bullshit spun by consultants.

It never helps though. It seems I need a workplace where others share this power.

posted by pompomtom 26 March | 17:56

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